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[ In the end, it's not a subject she should dwell upon, either, and one she can only be more careful about in the future. When his lips take hers, the kiss is reassuring of all of his love, and when he pulls back, no guilt lingers within her expression. She can wait. If it's for him, she can wait forever.
So she answers softly, her hand squeezing his affectionately, ] I'll wait for you, whenever you're ready.
[ And-- this dance doesn't need to be for a wedding. It's said to predict the fortune of the future, isn't it? In which case...
As they've both told each other, they've danced it perfectly. Pyra is not so superstitious that it has a literal predictive value, but it does make her more mindful of the hope she holds in her heart and of the inspiration the dance gives to want to make it a wonderful year, if it is within her ability. ]
So... Here's to another year together, then. Of knowing you and loving you.
So she answers softly, her hand squeezing his affectionately, ] I'll wait for you, whenever you're ready.
[ And-- this dance doesn't need to be for a wedding. It's said to predict the fortune of the future, isn't it? In which case...
As they've both told each other, they've danced it perfectly. Pyra is not so superstitious that it has a literal predictive value, but it does make her more mindful of the hope she holds in her heart and of the inspiration the dance gives to want to make it a wonderful year, if it is within her ability. ]
So... Here's to another year together, then. Of knowing you and loving you.
I'll say yes to that. [His smile broadens, and while her comment hadn't stressed him out, he does relax noticeably against her, grateful for the time and the answer she's granted him.] Hell yes.
[Another year of this, with her? Helping one another, supporting and loving and being there? With how far the both of them have managed to come from where they began? There's no doubt in his mind that she's made him better, made his life better. They've had their ups and downs, and they've weathered them so well, and all it did was make them stronger. They can face whatever comes next, and he won't balk. He knows how fortunate he is, and how happy she makes him. That's worth anything.]
[Another year of this, with her? Helping one another, supporting and loving and being there? With how far the both of them have managed to come from where they began? There's no doubt in his mind that she's made him better, made his life better. They've had their ups and downs, and they've weathered them so well, and all it did was make them stronger. They can face whatever comes next, and he won't balk. He knows how fortunate he is, and how happy she makes him. That's worth anything.]
[ She brings him into a hug, resting her head against his shoulder and smiling against his shirt. ]
I look forward to it.
[ She's grateful to know him, and she wouldn't be the person she is today without him. She doesn't need more than this: him alongside her, her alongside him. ]
I look forward to it.
[ She's grateful to know him, and she wouldn't be the person she is today without him. She doesn't need more than this: him alongside her, her alongside him. ]
[There's been a thought in the back of his mind for a while now: niggling, frustrating, and although he's tried to ignore it - it's not the time, there's no point, don't poke the bear, dammit - it won't seem to leave him alone. It quieted down when things grew too busy or some nonsense was happening in town again, but when things grew settled, it came back to bug him once more. And after Pneuma awoke at last... well, that was the nail in the coffin, and his thoughts keep wandering back to it. The what if. The seed that Pyra had planted months ago, after she'd fused a crystal to his chest.
It comes to mind completely at random after lunch one day, at the tail end of dishes, and he exhales through his nose as an annoyed fine, ugh, and withdraws his hands from the soapy water to turn towards Pyra.]
....Hey. Can I ask you something weird?
It comes to mind completely at random after lunch one day, at the tail end of dishes, and he exhales through his nose as an annoyed fine, ugh, and withdraws his hands from the soapy water to turn towards Pyra.]
....Hey. Can I ask you something weird?
[ After their dinner and as they clean-- he with the dishes and she with drying them-- she's mindful enough to give him a bit of space as he works. Whenever he has something in his thoughts, she knows he must think through things first. So it is with a welcoming smile that she turns to face him as he bids her permission to ask.
..."Weird", though? That's unusual, for whatever topic he may bring up. Pyra cannot manage to even guess what it may be. ]
Of course.
..."Weird", though? That's unusual, for whatever topic he may bring up. Pyra cannot manage to even guess what it may be. ]
Of course.
[Well, it's out now. No turning back, much as he's already worrying about how this is going to go.]
The stuff I got from the crystal... everything you locked up. Is it still, uh. Accessible in some way? Or would that be too dangerous?
[He doesn't want to accidentally cause any cracks and have it all blow up in his face. He really does not need to scare the hell out of everyone again.]
The stuff I got from the crystal... everything you locked up. Is it still, uh. Accessible in some way? Or would that be too dangerous?
[He doesn't want to accidentally cause any cracks and have it all blow up in his face. He really does not need to scare the hell out of everyone again.]
[ Her brow lifts in concern at the question, briefly, and then relaxes. Pyra sets down the towel and the spotless dish she had been drying, reaching over to take one of his hands. ] With your focus, any part of it is accessible.
[ She had placed a seal on it, but it's not as if she has much idea of how any of the memories of his world might be organized-- if at all-- within. What she remembers of the time is that how quickly they had flooded to him.
Still. What she had designed to temper it from overwhelming him, she had designed with the mind for it to be safe for him to explore, too. ]
Did you... want to try?
[ She had placed a seal on it, but it's not as if she has much idea of how any of the memories of his world might be organized-- if at all-- within. What she remembers of the time is that how quickly they had flooded to him.
Still. What she had designed to temper it from overwhelming him, she had designed with the mind for it to be safe for him to explore, too. ]
Did you... want to try?
I dunno. Maybe. [He hesitates, his hand tense in hers.] Kinda. ...Yeah.
[It sounds so- ridiculous, and he can't help feeling flustered by the question itself. They're not his memories, they don't belong to him or belong in his mind. For the most part, all they'd done is make him feel invasive or worse about his situation. Why would he want to invite more back in?
At the same time... why was he given them in the first place, if they don't serve some kind of purpose? Is it a good idea to ignore something that a god gave him while telling him he's meant to save the world?]
[It sounds so- ridiculous, and he can't help feeling flustered by the question itself. They're not his memories, they don't belong to him or belong in his mind. For the most part, all they'd done is make him feel invasive or worse about his situation. Why would he want to invite more back in?
At the same time... why was he given them in the first place, if they don't serve some kind of purpose? Is it a good idea to ignore something that a god gave him while telling him he's meant to save the world?]
[ As his hesitation turns over his words and his hand tenses, she gives his hand a squeeze, taking in his expression. She cannot read his mind, and she'd be naïve to guess as to why he had been given any of his world's memories in the first place, in such a overwhelming way. However, this is one of the few times he's actually asked anything of her, and she's happy that he's voicing a desire to try. The least she can do is ensure that he'll be safe.
If... if he is somehow supposed to absorb all of those memories anyway, why not do so piecemeal and at a pace he desires? She will make it safe for him. And in this world, they can always stop if a memory becomes too much. ]
Then the dishes can wait.
[ Pyra steps away, beginning to lead him back to their room. ]
I have to ask, though... Are you just curious?
If... if he is somehow supposed to absorb all of those memories anyway, why not do so piecemeal and at a pace he desires? She will make it safe for him. And in this world, they can always stop if a memory becomes too much. ]
Then the dishes can wait.
[ Pyra steps away, beginning to lead him back to their room. ]
I have to ask, though... Are you just curious?
[He follows her without hesitating, genuinely grateful for her kind nature. Whatever his answer ends up being, her support is exactly what he needs right now.]
Be easier if I was.
[If it was simple curiosity, he could be more at ease about it, take his time or opt not to try at all. Curiosity killed the cat and all, and these memories already nearly killed him once. That's plenty reason to never want to touch this part of himself ever again.]
I was just thinking- getting all those memories, it must've been for a reason, right? It feels weird that they'd do something that could kill their Chosen unless it had some kind of purpose. So... locking them up and forgetting about them... I dunno, it feels like running away, in a sense.
Be easier if I was.
[If it was simple curiosity, he could be more at ease about it, take his time or opt not to try at all. Curiosity killed the cat and all, and these memories already nearly killed him once. That's plenty reason to never want to touch this part of himself ever again.]
I was just thinking- getting all those memories, it must've been for a reason, right? It feels weird that they'd do something that could kill their Chosen unless it had some kind of purpose. So... locking them up and forgetting about them... I dunno, it feels like running away, in a sense.
[ Her lips purse as she mulls over his theory, and eventually comes to the conclusion that there being a purpose to housing the memories is as good as any.
But the second half of what he says has her pause. ] Maybe it's a matter of semantics, but... I don't think you're 'running away'. [ Another pause, and at their doorway, she turns to look at him. ] Noct. Whatever those memories may hold, not having them flood you is protecting yourself-- and you deserve to protect yourself, too.
[ ... ] Although, I don't think it's a terrible idea to believe there could be something important in those memories. [ Something worth risking the life of their Chosen, at that, to have him house all that knowledge.
In the end, she's only able to speculate. ]
But the second half of what he says has her pause. ] Maybe it's a matter of semantics, but... I don't think you're 'running away'. [ Another pause, and at their doorway, she turns to look at him. ] Noct. Whatever those memories may hold, not having them flood you is protecting yourself-- and you deserve to protect yourself, too.
[ ... ] Although, I don't think it's a terrible idea to believe there could be something important in those memories. [ Something worth risking the life of their Chosen, at that, to have him house all that knowledge.
In the end, she's only able to speculate. ]
I was thinking about the not-following-up part more than the protecting-myself part. I'm fine with that. I can't die to save the world if I die having my head overloaded, or whatever.
[It feels a little strange to just come out and say it, but it's the truth. Like an overfilled water balloon, he'd been close to bursting. He'd seen the blood. People don't bleed like that unless there's something seriously wrong with them. And the rest is... well, it's the truth. Avoiding it is definitely running away.
He pauses, shifting his weight from foot to foot as he mulls over the rest of her words, then opens the door, nudging inside.]
Bahamut never told me anything, just the vague barebones. You'd think if I had ten years to kill in there he could at least explain everything properly...
[It feels a little strange to just come out and say it, but it's the truth. Like an overfilled water balloon, he'd been close to bursting. He'd seen the blood. People don't bleed like that unless there's something seriously wrong with them. And the rest is... well, it's the truth. Avoiding it is definitely running away.
He pauses, shifting his weight from foot to foot as he mulls over the rest of her words, then opens the door, nudging inside.]
Bahamut never told me anything, just the vague barebones. You'd think if I had ten years to kill in there he could at least explain everything properly...
[ She closes the door behind them, following him inside by the hand. ]
You don't think, maybe, he might tell you more? If it's ten years, and you're not yet a decade older.... [ She's grasping for some thread of hope, but her tone sounds as if she knows it's a weak one. From the sound of it, the "barebones" is all he's going to get.
Eventually, she settles upon the edge of the bed. Her other hand goes to her own crystal, and her head bows. ] It's--.... just so strange to me, how he doesn't seem to trust his own Chosen more.
You don't think, maybe, he might tell you more? If it's ten years, and you're not yet a decade older.... [ She's grasping for some thread of hope, but her tone sounds as if she knows it's a weak one. From the sound of it, the "barebones" is all he's going to get.
Eventually, she settles upon the edge of the bed. Her other hand goes to her own crystal, and her head bows. ] It's--.... just so strange to me, how he doesn't seem to trust his own Chosen more.
[He shakes his head, dropping down onto the bed next to her and looking down at his lap. Strange that the glow of the crystal that meets him when he looks down is more comfort to him than his own crystal could ever be, now. The one moment where it might have at last given him relief - to fight the daemons, to save his friends, to liberate their home - was shattered when its magic clutched his wrist and forcibly dragged him within.]
Maybe, after what happened with Ardyn, the gods decided they didn't need trust, just obedience.
[That's assuming they'd trusted him to begin with. They'd given their family such great power, and doubled it up in Ardyn's case- not just the crystal's magic, but a healing power, though it was more twisted than the Oracle's. It hasn't helped. Or was all of that planned from the beginning, too? Was it easier if the worst of the scourge and their world's darkness was channeled through one man rather than spread out? Who even knows...]
Maybe it'll all come together when I've been in the crystal that long, but since I've been dragged here, what if that messes something up? Interrupts whatever it's doing? If there's something important that I'll need later... I should find out what it is. Just in case.
Maybe, after what happened with Ardyn, the gods decided they didn't need trust, just obedience.
[That's assuming they'd trusted him to begin with. They'd given their family such great power, and doubled it up in Ardyn's case- not just the crystal's magic, but a healing power, though it was more twisted than the Oracle's. It hasn't helped. Or was all of that planned from the beginning, too? Was it easier if the worst of the scourge and their world's darkness was channeled through one man rather than spread out? Who even knows...]
Maybe it'll all come together when I've been in the crystal that long, but since I've been dragged here, what if that messes something up? Interrupts whatever it's doing? If there's something important that I'll need later... I should find out what it is. Just in case.
[ She looks at his profile. It's impossible not to marvel at the complexity that his expression holds, how sincere he is as he confesses his worries-- which she assumes to be are only a few of the great many he holds. Pyra's hold on his hand adjusts, weaving her fingers with his.
For his sake, she hopes that he finds an answer in these memories. ]
...Let's try with a memory, then. Or a few. But, Noct-- [ She leans in. ] Promise me you won't exert yourself, okay? [ His fears that his presence here may interfere with what's needed to save his world isn't unfounded. None here know what truly happens if and when they return, how much they may remember, or if they do at all. Perhaps this is the responsible thing to do on his part, for all they know. Either way, she won't invalidate his feelings, but she will support him. ] 'Just in case'. We'll get through a memory just in case, at a pace you want.
For his sake, she hopes that he finds an answer in these memories. ]
...Let's try with a memory, then. Or a few. But, Noct-- [ She leans in. ] Promise me you won't exert yourself, okay? [ His fears that his presence here may interfere with what's needed to save his world isn't unfounded. None here know what truly happens if and when they return, how much they may remember, or if they do at all. Perhaps this is the responsible thing to do on his part, for all they know. Either way, she won't invalidate his feelings, but she will support him. ] 'Just in case'. We'll get through a memory just in case, at a pace you want.
[He glances up to meet her eyes as she shifts closer, surprised initially, though he knows he shouldn't be. Of course her concern would be for him rather than the expectations on his shoulders. She's always been kinder to him than he is to himself.
After a second or two, he musters a smile, shaking his head again.]
I promise. Or- I'll try not to, at least. I don't really know what to expect. Even so, I... I wanna give it a shot.
[He owes the world - and to some extent, himself - at least that much.]
We can start with one. We'll see what happens after that.
After a second or two, he musters a smile, shaking his head again.]
I promise. Or- I'll try not to, at least. I don't really know what to expect. Even so, I... I wanna give it a shot.
[He owes the world - and to some extent, himself - at least that much.]
We can start with one. We'll see what happens after that.
One, it is. [ Pyra brings his hand up to her lips, giving his knuckles a kiss. Whatever happens, she's here to support him. Offering another smile in a way she hopes is reassuring, she then guides that same hand to her chest, allowing him to touch the crystal there. Similarly, she reaches with her other hand to his chest, moving beneath his shirt so she may rest her palm upon his crystal. ]
And now... let's focus. [ The crystal is his, tied to his soul; therefore the memories sealed inside will not be within her own mindscape, but his own. Eyes sliding shut, she summons forth the basis of her power, golden and gentle, to create a bridge between her and him, linking them further and reaching out to the crystalline blue of his own. Together, they will enter the recesses of his mind, coming into form.
Whatever location or void in which he may place them, soon they'll be standing before a representation of how he believes the vault that houses his crystal's memories to look like. ]
And now... let's focus. [ The crystal is his, tied to his soul; therefore the memories sealed inside will not be within her own mindscape, but his own. Eyes sliding shut, she summons forth the basis of her power, golden and gentle, to create a bridge between her and him, linking them further and reaching out to the crystalline blue of his own. Together, they will enter the recesses of his mind, coming into form.
Whatever location or void in which he may place them, soon they'll be standing before a representation of how he believes the vault that houses his crystal's memories to look like. ]
[It's a different experience, her venturing into his crystal rather than the reverse, though it's similarly disorienting and sudden. One moment he's in their room, the next he's effortlessly drawn into an endless sea of undulating shades of blue, peppered with stars and shining lights. It strongly resembles the interior of his magic armory, or the core of the Crystal itself when he'd met Bahamut, and for a moment he feels disappointed that it's just this again, this miserable emptiness that brought him so much grief back home, as well as nearly killed him twice here... but then he starts to notice the fragments of colour and architecture cutting through the otherwise stagnant realm.
The first one he sees looks almost like an island, fragmented and crumbling at the edges, but there's such an obvious familiarity to the architecture that he feels immediately drawn to it. Arcs of obsidian stone and polished marble, accents of gold marking out nostalgic shapes and patterns. It's unmistakably Lucian. It's still distant, segments drawing together as if forming as he focuses on it, but he suspects it'll become fully recognizable soon.
His voice is quiet as he speaks, finally breaking the uneasy silence that the visual had formed in him.]
It... looks like home. I feel like I should've expected that, but- [He really hadn't.]
The first one he sees looks almost like an island, fragmented and crumbling at the edges, but there's such an obvious familiarity to the architecture that he feels immediately drawn to it. Arcs of obsidian stone and polished marble, accents of gold marking out nostalgic shapes and patterns. It's unmistakably Lucian. It's still distant, segments drawing together as if forming as he focuses on it, but he suspects it'll become fully recognizable soon.
His voice is quiet as he speaks, finally breaking the uneasy silence that the visual had formed in him.]
It... looks like home. I feel like I should've expected that, but- [He really hadn't.]
[ Broken and fragmented the architecture may be, the obsidian stone and gold is no less beautiful as more of it comes together. She recognizes the motifs, too, having been privy to a few of his visions of the throne room of his world.
She takes his hand. ]
Let's move closer.
[ She's not sure what she expected-- a library, perhaps, or some easy metaphor through which he can browse memories. Fragments of memories, on the other hand, make sense as well, for he had been effected when his crystal's memories flooded him. Perhaps these are the conceptual scars of the event. ]
She takes his hand. ]
Let's move closer.
[ She's not sure what she expected-- a library, perhaps, or some easy metaphor through which he can browse memories. Fragments of memories, on the other hand, make sense as well, for he had been effected when his crystal's memories flooded him. Perhaps these are the conceptual scars of the event. ]
[His fingers curl easily around hers, and he walks alongside her as they walk towards the construct as it slowly assembles itself into something more familiar. A part of him had expected the throne room, because it's happened enough that it feels predestined at this point. Somehow though, those sweeping stairs never appear, nor does the golden accented throne or the enormous windows. Instead he sees... a room. Ornate and beautifully stylized, admittedly, with gleaming marble walls, expensive carved furniture, but nonetheless just a fancy room in the Citadel. There's a canopy bed, a curved desk, a few side tables with books, flowers, and a teapot peppered around the room. It's empty, but the illusion of warm sunlight filters in through the large windows. It's also very familiar.
Noctis pauses at the edge, hesitating, then touches the edge of the construct, testing its stability, then hefts himself up to sit on the edge, holding his other hand out to her to help her up as well.]
I... think we found my old room.
Noctis pauses at the edge, hesitating, then touches the edge of the construct, testing its stability, then hefts himself up to sit on the edge, holding his other hand out to her to help her up as well.]
I... think we found my old room.
[ With his help, she sits upon the ledge next to him. ]
Your... room?
[ Pyra takes a few moments to gather the scenery in, imagining just how life might have been for a younger Noctis in this very same room. Spacious and ornate, it's certainly fit for a prince, but it has an air of loneliness to it. Having lived with him for so long, it doesn't seem quite him. That, or this is another part of him she hasn't had the privilege to meet until now. ]
It's beautiful... Exactly what I'd picture for a prince.
Your... room?
[ Pyra takes a few moments to gather the scenery in, imagining just how life might have been for a younger Noctis in this very same room. Spacious and ornate, it's certainly fit for a prince, but it has an air of loneliness to it. Having lived with him for so long, it doesn't seem quite him. That, or this is another part of him she hasn't had the privilege to meet until now. ]
It's beautiful... Exactly what I'd picture for a prince.
It wasn't exactly like this. Some of the colours are different.
[He points towards the bed, the sheets a faded peach.]
Mine were blue. Maybe this is from a different generation. The furniture looks similar, though... must've lasted decades.
[It makes sense. He remembers them being fancy and well made, which meant they were built to last. A few of them even had old magic scars.]
[He points towards the bed, the sheets a faded peach.]
Mine were blue. Maybe this is from a different generation. The furniture looks similar, though... must've lasted decades.
[It makes sense. He remembers them being fancy and well made, which meant they were built to last. A few of them even had old magic scars.]
Maybe.
[He watches the space of the room for a long moment, waiting for something to happen. It feels... oddly peaceful, in a way that it really hadn't been when he lived here. Always too quiet and lonely, and whenever someone came to see him it was Highness this, Highness that, bowing and showing deference to a child in a way he'd hated. He hadn't done anything to deserve all of that except been born.
He shifts position, facing into the room instead with knees half-propped in front of him, his brows furrowing.]
The crystal must've had a million memories like this. Just... long stretches where nothing happened, where no one did anything, the world just existed. When we were traveling around Lucis, there were so many places totally untouched by anyone. It's not like the room stopped existing while no one was in it.
[He watches the space of the room for a long moment, waiting for something to happen. It feels... oddly peaceful, in a way that it really hadn't been when he lived here. Always too quiet and lonely, and whenever someone came to see him it was Highness this, Highness that, bowing and showing deference to a child in a way he'd hated. He hadn't done anything to deserve all of that except been born.
He shifts position, facing into the room instead with knees half-propped in front of him, his brows furrowing.]
The crystal must've had a million memories like this. Just... long stretches where nothing happened, where no one did anything, the world just existed. When we were traveling around Lucis, there were so many places totally untouched by anyone. It's not like the room stopped existing while no one was in it.
[ In other words, if they continue to sit here and wait for something to happen, they may be waiting a while.
Pyra studies his thoughtful profile, then gives his hand a squeeze. ] You mentioned this was your old room, but different-- someone else's. [ Either a previous prince or princess. ] Do any of the decorations strike you as... theirs?
Pyra studies his thoughtful profile, then gives his hand a squeeze. ] You mentioned this was your old room, but different-- someone else's. [ Either a previous prince or princess. ] Do any of the decorations strike you as... theirs?
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