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Pyra/Mythra/Pneuma ([personal profile] iustaegis) wrote2021-02-10 06:30 pm
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[ Pyra ♢ Mythra ♢ Pneuma

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carbungle: ponponpon @ dw (153)

[personal profile] carbungle 2022-04-12 04:17 am (UTC)(link)
[Her question is a distraction from the grim thoughts that threatened to overwhelm him, and he quietly welcomes it.]

Uh... let's see.

[He leans forward a bit, searching for any particular details that might ping him. At first it's just a basic aesthetic, nothing too interesting, until a curious set of extrusions from the wall adjacent to the bed catches his attention, and he points it out, somewhat uncertain with his words, but the thought coming to mind otherwise unprompted.]

That over there... there was a prince who had trouble learning how to use the armory, like I did. He got a weapon on his sixteenth birthday- uh, it's a traditional thing- but he couldn't use it the way he was supposed to. I think there was a problem with... a council? No, it was some nobles back then...

[His brows furrow, grimacing as he tries to push too hard for it. It's like the memory is right there, but the more he chases it the more it slips through his fingers. It's frustrating. This is what he's supposed to do, isn't it?]
carbungle: <user name=fontech> (134)

[personal profile] carbungle 2022-04-13 07:46 am (UTC)(link)
[He pauses at her words, resistant at first - stubborn as ever and needing not to be a disappointment - before he catches himself and relaxes, closing his eyes as her presence and power warms him straight to the soul and soothes his nerves, bit by bit. Rather than chasing thoughts that had eluded him, he breathes in, out, and waits for it to come to him, like a butterfly alighting at the fringes of his mind. Details begin to form, and at last he can picture it.]

They were nobles. The prince was feeling discouraged, thinking he wouldn't be worthy of the Crystal when his time came. They talked about how the king should have another child, put aside the powerless one and try again. Poor kid.

[He can't help feeling sympathy for his predecessor. He'd walked that path, heard the criticisms. After his injury, re-learning how to walk, failing again and again to do things that his father could have done at half his age. But his father never caved to their requests, sometimes demands. He never gave up on Noctis. And this king...

He opens his eyes and looks up, and there's a teenage boy sitting on the bed, clad in robes not quite modern, but not as old-fashioned as Somnus. His dark hair hangs in his eyes, hiding his expression.

A tall man in elegant, flowing robes (and a slanted cape!) is standing where the wall extrusions are, setting a thin, rapier-type blade of beautiful craftsmanship into place. "There now," he says, sounding pleased. A curved crown of intersecting metal is tucked behind one ear. "Right within reach, should you ever need it. Scabbards are admittedly rare in our family, but the Warrior King used one, and he was without peer, so the stories say."

The boy mumbled something, and when the king prompted him to repeat, his voice is harsh. "I'm no warrior."

"Come now-"

"I'm not!" he shouts. "You know I'm not. What kind of prince can't even summon his sword? I'm sixteen now- I should be warping! Casting spells! But I can't- I'm useless!"

They bicker back and forth for a handful of moments, clearly an old argument of rehashed points. The son, tired of failure, of being told that success will come with time and practice when he's seen no evidence that it's true. The father, exhausted and heartsick by his child's self-doubt, wishing for his success if only so that some of the pressure might be lifted off his young shoulders. There is anger, guilt, heartbreak, until finally the prince snaps,

"Just do what they keep saying, okay!? Throw me away, have another kid! I'm defective- you can replace me, everyone wants that!"

There is a pause, a pained silence, broken at last by the king's shaken breath and striding footsteps. He closes the distance and grasps his son by the shoulders.

"There is only one of you, understand? There will only ever be one of you." His tone is firm, but kind, pleading for his son to hear him. "You are without equal, and one day you'll see it. They'll all see it. Let us never speak of 'replacement' again." With the gentlest hands, he wipes the once-hidden tears from beneath his child's eyes. "My son is irreplaceable."

The vision freezes, at that moment, and Noctis blinks, those same tears mirrored on his own cheeks.]
Oh, [he whispers, dumbfounded.]
carbungle: <user name=fontech> (248)

[personal profile] carbungle 2022-04-14 01:19 am (UTC)(link)
[For a moment he can't speak, hunching over a little and pressing a hand to his heart, as if it hurts, or it's pounding too fast it's threatening to burst out of his chest. But this isn't real- they're inside the crystal, this isn't his body, it's his soul, and in a way that makes it worse and better all at once. He can feel it, every aspect of that memory. The thoughts and words woven into each second that passed, each argument exchanged. As if one argument was a hundred they'd had before, the heaviness of those emotions flowed through him. He can feel them. He can-]

I felt it, [he whispers, trembling a little.] Every thought. "Worthless. Waste of time. Precious. Loved." They were fighting, but they both wanted the best for the other, I... [He closes his eyes again, breathing deep, in and out, until enough seconds pass that his heart settles and he can look at her, a quiet wonder in his eyes.] I could feel... my father. The memories connected, in the crystal. Dad always- he wanted- he felt this, too. [His voice drops back to a whisper.] Irreplaceable.

[Is this why he was pulled to this memory? Is that what he's meant to understand?]
carbungle: <user name=fontech> (363)

[personal profile] carbungle 2022-04-14 02:22 am (UTC)(link)
[He leans against her readily, listening to her words and the soothing nature of her presence. He sits like that in silence as he gathers his thoughts, his arm curling around her back to hold her in return, endlessly grateful for her company and tilting his head into her gentle touch. He's not sure he could have done this without her, and he's so glad he doesn't have to know.

At some point the bedroom fades from sight, taking with it the father and son, leaving them on a stone fragment in the blue starscape sea. It's only then that he finds his voice again.]


Those feelings... there are countless people across all of Eos' history that must have felt like that. Worrying they weren't enough... worrying about their children. Each and every one of those souls are irreplaceable. They lived, and they died... they felt all kinds of things. I... think I'm starting to understand.

[He's not confident with it yet; he's still figuring it out. This moment has set some of the pieces into place, bringing back memories of what he must have felt inside the Crystal. Approaching it is terrifying still, but... it's less scary than before, and as long as he's not alone, he'll follow where it leads.]
carbungle: nxctcaelum @ tumblr (125)

[personal profile] carbungle 2022-04-15 01:40 am (UTC)(link)
[He opens his mouth, thinks better of it, closes it again.]

Maybe. I'm... not sure. But this feels too important to guess and be wrong, so... I want to try again.

[It isn't like him; he's too prone to rushing in, taking things at face value more often than not, accepting what he's been told without looking deeper. Strategy and analysis are what people like Ignis are good at. But the truth is, no one can do this for him. No one else spoke with Bahamut, no one else was given these memories. Pyra can safeguard them, help him access them, but the responsibility - of the memories, of the world, and of what he's meant to do with both - is on his shoulders.

Decision made, and instinctively recognizing that this place can offer them nothing more, he slides off the edge of the platform and back into the plane of wandering stars, offering his hand out to help her down so they can walk together again.]
carbungle: nxctcaelum @ tumblr (126)

[personal profile] carbungle 2022-04-15 02:16 am (UTC)(link)
[He glances around, trying to spot another fragment that might stand out in the same way as the one before. A few have appeared on the horizon, beginning to form, so he focuses on that direction and watches for a sign.]

Yeah... Bahamut called it the Heart of the Crystal, the soul of the star. I remember thinking it was super familiar from inside the armiger- it's the same scenery. I wonder if it's actually just the same space, since the power comes from the crystal. Or if it's, like... copied over into our soul or whatever. Maybe like separate rooms in the same house? [He tilts his head thoughtfully.] That'd make sense, since mine and Dad's or Ardyn's don't connect.
carbungle: livebites @ dw (1)

[personal profile] carbungle 2022-04-16 02:52 am (UTC)(link)
Lucky me, as usual.

[He can't help his tired mumble, but it's far less bitter than it would have been a few years ago, when the wounds were still fresh. He and Ardyn have had many a conversation about being the opposing sides of the gods' war, the weight that accompanies such a title. One driven away from the Crystal's light, the other meant to subsume it entirely. He knows he's not meant to lose himself in it - and will at least still be himself until the end, back home - but he wishes it was more of a comfort to know that his link to their Crystal is more unique than most of their family.

On the flipside, he never had to endure centuries in some empty island prison, or inside a magic ring, so there are some perks attached with being the last of his line. It means a lot less waiting around for the inevitable.]


Kinda makes me wonder how long it's really been since I got dragged into the Crystal. It felt like no time at all, but if I've already absorbed so much of the star's memories, maybe it's been years and I don't even know it.
carbungle: <user name=fontech> (314)

[personal profile] carbungle 2022-04-16 03:43 am (UTC)(link)
Not... really. Though I don't know if I'd even be able to tell. If the crystal's magic, and being inside the crystal is like being in the armiger, would I even have my real body until it tossed me out?

[He's never put a living, breathing thing in the armory. Food's gone bad after he pulled it out again, but is that because it rotted within the void or because time caught up with it once it was no longer converted into energy? It's a jarring thing to consider. It's not like he could eat there for ten years. Had he been hungry when he woke up here after regaining his memories? Would he be hungry back home?

Gods, it's such an inconsequential thing to worry about, comparatively, but the unknown of it all might drive him crazy.]
carbungle: livebites @ dw (no I won't shed a tear)

[personal profile] carbungle 2022-04-16 05:19 am (UTC)(link)
[That gives him pause again, gazing quietly at her as those words sink in, until his shoulders slump and he leans in, bumping his forehead against hers. Just like always, she pulls him back to what's important. He's focusing on the wrong things, stressing about what shouldn't be the big issue. Right... physically, it doesn't matter. As long as he's still himself, that's enough. She'd said it before, but it means more now. He's in a better place to hear it and accept it than he was back then.]

I'm still me. [He breathes deep, then smiles faintly at her.] You're the best, you know that? You never falter.
carbungle: <user name=fontech> (396)

[personal profile] carbungle 2022-04-16 09:24 pm (UTC)(link)
[He laughs quietly, shaking his head.]

Okay, we're both the best. Mutual amazingness. I don't know how anyone stands us.

[Two people shouldn't be allowed to be so awesome and in such close proximity. ...Or is it four, now? Whatever, life is complicated enough as it is.

He gives her hand a light tug, quietly bracing himself for what comes next, but his steps are more sure now that she's coaxed some encouragment back into him. Like an energy drink, getting some of that adrenaline pumping with curiosity instead of dread. Or at least enough curiosity to accompany the dread, so he's not drowning in it. They approach the next stretch of stone, as the first signs of whatever awaits them begins to flicker into existence: no longer the Citadel, this vision appears more natural, bits of greenery emerging from the darkness.]
carbungle: <user name=fontech> (176)

[personal profile] carbungle 2022-04-17 12:01 am (UTC)(link)
I mean, that's the nice way of looking at it. The alternative is either Bahamut was waiting for somebody who looked like Somnus for the irony of it, or 114 is a super-unlucky number and that's just how many kings it took to accumulate enough power.

[The latter options probably are more likely - both vengefully thematic and a clinical, strength-based sort of logic that the gods appreciated more than sentiment - but they're not his favourite options. He'd love it to be her version.]

I shouldn't complain, either way. It's probably better than being just one more cog in the machine, or being stuck in the ring, or... I dunno. Handing this fate off to my kid, if I had one.

[If he were ever a dad, he'd want to be as good if not better than his own. That meant not letting them feel neglected or unloved- and certainly not going "actually, how about you be the one to die for the world instead". He's sure that if Regis had the choice to take his place and let his son be spared, he'd have done it. Noctis would do the same for his own child, if one had been allowed to exist.]
carbungle: ponponpon @ dw (43)

[personal profile] carbungle 2022-04-17 01:07 am (UTC)(link)
[He leans in, bumping against her shoulder affectionately and squeezing her hand. He wasn't offended by her comment, recognizing it was meant as encouragement. It's not her fault their family history is so grim.]

You're right. I know he tried to find a way to save me... we talked about it a little, after he woke up. [After he remembered.] Is it weird that it... kinda made me feel better, even though he didn't find an answer? He tried to fight against fate, just for my sake. Could've risked the world.

[He knew his father loved him. Of course he did. And he didn't begrudge Regis for being forced to give up on that search, when the war stole too much of his time and he had to think like a king more than a father. It just... warmed his heart so much, knowing he was so loved.

"Irreplaceable." It rang all the more true, knowing what he knew now.]
carbungle: nxctcaelum @ tumblr (221)

[personal profile] carbungle 2022-04-17 01:33 am (UTC)(link)
I guess we're all kind of alike in that way, in this family. [He smiles softly at her, a little sad, but surprisingly at ease with his words, too. He's seen it enough time to recognize it- in himself, in others. Maybe he doesn't have to like it, but he can acknowledge the love and sacrifice in this truth.] I'd fight for him, for you, for the guys. For anyone in my family. And I know you'd all fight for me too.

[They would, and they have. He has to acknowledge their sacrifice. That's part of reflection too, isn't it? "Many sacrificed all for the king, so much the king sacrifice himself for all." But Bahamut didn't have to tell him that one. He'd done it before- taken the hit for them, as they'd done so for him. This was just... a different kind of hit to take.

That thought resonates with him strangely, a flicker of deja vu. What's so familiar about that train of thought...?]

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