[ She takes it to heart, his soft curse, his stricken expression, his apology as if he's done something wrong-- and she squeezes his hand. She doesn't see this as if he had intended to do wrong. He's a product of his own circumstances, and this is how he knows how to comfort and help, and what has helped him in the past (and to this day). Given the life he's led, he doesn't focus on how another mistreats him, but he blames himself; she's seen it so much already. He's extended that to this case, how she had been mistreated- but she didn't do enough to defend.
She normally wouldn't advocate for herself, but if she wants to work on this habit of crippling self-blame with him together, she has to be stronger than she is now for him. She has to think of what she'd say and wish for him in reverse circumstances and not be a hypocrite. That's the hardest part, because she does still wish for his support in her vulnerable moments, if necessary.... just. Not in ways that insidiously reinforce his own ways of assigning self-blame. His upbringing as the Chosen, not the Chooser, is deep, and the pressure of the Prophecy is real; untangling that all is going to be a difficult, long process.
It's hard, too, to keep herself together, when the instinct to blame herself is also so strongly there and choking her, when it feels like she's at fault for being injured by her own shortcomings in not being firmer,...but she knows she has to be strong.
Through these thoughts, Pyra scoots closer to him, turning that hand-hold into a link of her arm through his, giving a half-hug as she looks up at him. ]
Noct, I know what you're saying. It's okay. But...one more time? Try it? But be kinder to yourself, too.
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She normally wouldn't advocate for herself, but if she wants to work on this habit of crippling self-blame with him together, she has to be stronger than she is now for him. She has to think of what she'd say and wish for him in reverse circumstances and not be a hypocrite. That's the hardest part, because she does still wish for his support in her vulnerable moments, if necessary.... just. Not in ways that insidiously reinforce his own ways of assigning self-blame. His upbringing as the Chosen, not the Chooser, is deep, and the pressure of the Prophecy is real; untangling that all is going to be a difficult, long process.
It's hard, too, to keep herself together, when the instinct to blame herself is also so strongly there and choking her, when it feels like she's at fault for being injured by her own shortcomings in not being firmer,...but she knows she has to be strong.
Through these thoughts, Pyra scoots closer to him, turning that hand-hold into a link of her arm through his, giving a half-hug as she looks up at him. ]
Noct, I know what you're saying. It's okay. But...one more time? Try it? But be kinder to yourself, too.