[She asks, and he listens. She challenges his doubts, and he listens. Her words strike a chord, and he knows that on some level she must be right- he'd committed to sacrificing himself before his mind started to become overwhelmed by these memories, before he knew what Bahamut and the crystal had done to him to ensure he wouldn't turn away from it. He'd fought back when Cor had wanted him to find another way. He'd made that decision already. On the other hand, he hadn't remembered the truth of his own thoughts in the crystal itself until now, that he'd doubted, resisted in much the same way. Is it really that they didn't know? Or had they read deeper into his soul - the soul that had connected with theirs, been granted their power, been chosen by them as the last and saviour king - and known he needed an extra push?
He wants to believe her. He tries to. But as those overwhelming memories swirl deeper through his subconscious, grinding up against the forefront of his mind and vying for more of his attention than the woman before him, his eyes grow clouded, and he bows his head. He can't think... he can't focus. It feels like before, when the memories broke through his mental wall and nearly killed him. The ache of warning is there, and while she's protecting him from being truly overwhelmed in the same way, this close proximity is drawing them to him like a nest of hornets. She tells him he doesn't deserve this, and he thinks about a girl in Gralea who didn't deserve to be devoured when her mother turned into a daemon. She tells him he loves his family, and he thinks of a man coming home to his family in Lestallum with a grim diagnosis, who won't live through the starscourge now plaguing him because their useless king got the last Oracle killed. She tells him he's not selfish for wanting to live, and he thinks about a woman begging for her life as magitek troopers tear through her home with guns and blades, searching for the Crownsguard she'd sheltered. He feels their pain, their grief, their fear, and his own must pale before theirs, because there's so much. There's so much. Thousands of years, too much.
He takes a slow, shuddering breath, and his gaze drifts to the side as the ruins of Ralmuell crumble and disappear around them, leaving them once more alone in the void, only the echo of thousands of voices whispering around him. Our star. Our world. Our future. The blood price must be paid.
Enter into reflection.
He closes his eyes, then, and leans in to brush his head against hers, wishing for all the world that her voice would drown all the others out. This is reflection. Ten years of wandering through the thoughts and memories of their star and feeling the weight of every person who lived, so when the time came to make his choice, there'd be no choice at all. This... is an understanding he'd needed to come to, that much is true. But he's not ready to face it yet.]
Can... we go? Get out of here? I don't want to be here anymore.
no subject
He wants to believe her. He tries to. But as those overwhelming memories swirl deeper through his subconscious, grinding up against the forefront of his mind and vying for more of his attention than the woman before him, his eyes grow clouded, and he bows his head. He can't think... he can't focus. It feels like before, when the memories broke through his mental wall and nearly killed him. The ache of warning is there, and while she's protecting him from being truly overwhelmed in the same way, this close proximity is drawing them to him like a nest of hornets. She tells him he doesn't deserve this, and he thinks about a girl in Gralea who didn't deserve to be devoured when her mother turned into a daemon. She tells him he loves his family, and he thinks of a man coming home to his family in Lestallum with a grim diagnosis, who won't live through the starscourge now plaguing him because their useless king got the last Oracle killed. She tells him he's not selfish for wanting to live, and he thinks about a woman begging for her life as magitek troopers tear through her home with guns and blades, searching for the Crownsguard she'd sheltered. He feels their pain, their grief, their fear, and his own must pale before theirs, because there's so much. There's so much. Thousands of years, too much.
He takes a slow, shuddering breath, and his gaze drifts to the side as the ruins of Ralmuell crumble and disappear around them, leaving them once more alone in the void, only the echo of thousands of voices whispering around him. Our star. Our world. Our future. The blood price must be paid.
Enter into reflection.
He closes his eyes, then, and leans in to brush his head against hers, wishing for all the world that her voice would drown all the others out. This is reflection. Ten years of wandering through the thoughts and memories of their star and feeling the weight of every person who lived, so when the time came to make his choice, there'd be no choice at all. This... is an understanding he'd needed to come to, that much is true. But he's not ready to face it yet.]
Can... we go? Get out of here? I don't want to be here anymore.