I... [He wants to object, truly he does. But it would be dishonest, and she deserves more from him.] I don't disbelieve it. I guess that's the problem. I start to feel like I should do better for myself, but something happens to remind me, or someone else is getting hurt and it feels like my fault, and... it's really easy to go back to that.

[Old habits die hard, after all. He can't stand to disappoint people or cause them pain, and it's as easy in the moment to take whatever pain he can onto himself as it is hard to handle the consequences of his choice to do so afterwards. A vicious cycle much easier to ignore than to try and overcome. But he has tried. He's gotten better. ...He hopes he's gotten better.

This is... not one of the better moments, though. He'll admit that.]