[He feels much the same way, and her smile is reassuring. His intent truly is not to hurt, but to acknowledge the hurt that may come to one of them eventually through the absence of the other.]
Yeah... I don't want to waste all my time with you worrying about what might or might not happen. But I can't not think about it, either. [Especially when someone vanishes, whether he's close to them or not, he always receives a harsh reminder that this place exists to be temporary. And it's a roulette as to who goes, which makes it even worse.] It doesn't have to be therapy or whatever, if you're not okay with that. As long as you've got someone you can rely on. And the good thing about finding a local for this is, uh. They're not gonna disappear, I guess.
[Terrible enough to lose someone you love- what if your support system was lost at the same time? He can't even imagine, and he's dealt with enough grief badly to recognize that would go very very badly.]
...Ugh, I hate talking about this. But it's important too, isn't it? Not to expect the worst, but... to take care of ourselves, in the future.
[ On his part, she knows he has many to whom he can turn-- all from his own world, in fact. For her part, she has more than she thought she'd had before, if she were to count everyone with whom she's divulged. She's not alone, either. The subject of either of them vanishing has loomed since the beginning, but not to the point that it ever overshadowed what joy she could find in the moment with him. Even so, she had thought about it before, of however to broach the topic, only to come up with nothing. Leave it to him to be the brave one and speak-- and in such a mature, thoughtful way, too.
She loves him for that, this quality of his that's both sincere and reasonable in expectation, and not afraid to face unpleasantness if it some understanding might come of it. It's a display of noble maturity. ] Mm. Agreed, and... I'm glad you've said something like this. [ She lifts her hand from his to place it upon his cheek. With a gentle touch, she turns his face to the side, kissing his cheek. ] Brave, like always.
[ "To take care of ourselves in the future." ]
...Until that time comes, if and when we partt... I'll enjoy cherish every moment I have with you.
[He leans easily into her kiss, tilting to press his forehead against hers while she's still close to him and closing his eyes. Like before, she helps him feel brave now, too. Until the day comes that he'll have to once again find his own path, be brave on his own terms, he's glad that he can rely on her, and her on him.]
Yeah... me too. I'm glad you're with me.
[The idea of trying something new, getting professional help, admitting his flaws and weaknesses more openly- it isn't so frightful as it would be if he were alone. He'd probably just go back to his old ways and try to manage it solo, say he's fine and bury it deeper. Now he can acknowledge that's not healthy anymore. The moment he'd hurt her instead of just himself was a wake-up call that what he's doing isn't meant to be a good thing, or even merely acceptable. Bad for him, bad for others.
He really hopes this is better, that he can be better. Not that he can be fixed, because he's not broken. Just... better, like a wound that needs closing, a sickness to be excised.]
[ After the kiss, she returns to resting her head upon his shoulder, allowing herself to relax as she breathes in his familiar, comforting scent and that of their garden just ahead of where they sit. Pyra's eyes slide shut as she reviews their conversation, overall satisfied with the conclusion that no matter how they came to this point, strife and stress of previous months aside, that they're moving forward to a good, helpful way to help and fortify themselves.
Her fingers slide and lock through his, and she presses her palm into his, her touch warm, reaffirming that yes, she is still here... and so is he.
Why is it that they must always ground themselves for the inevitable reality that either of them might leave? Is it because that, in a perfect world, allowing themselves to wonder what it might be like for them to stay together is too painful, knowing that it would never be? As she takes a few more moments to think over all that they've discussed, for the first time she allows herself to wonder what it would be like to remain with him.... Surprising herself, she finds that it isn't as painful as she'd thought it'd be to allow herself some indulgent wishful-thinking, in some dream where they both might live. Of course the sorrow comes from knowing that it can never be realized, but there's no harm in dreaming, because it's just that.
Another smile forms upon her lips, and she cuddles more against him. ] ...We'll manage through this. The future we make here for us... it's ours.
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Yeah... I don't want to waste all my time with you worrying about what might or might not happen. But I can't not think about it, either. [Especially when someone vanishes, whether he's close to them or not, he always receives a harsh reminder that this place exists to be temporary. And it's a roulette as to who goes, which makes it even worse.] It doesn't have to be therapy or whatever, if you're not okay with that. As long as you've got someone you can rely on. And the good thing about finding a local for this is, uh. They're not gonna disappear, I guess.
[Terrible enough to lose someone you love- what if your support system was lost at the same time? He can't even imagine, and he's dealt with enough grief badly to recognize that would go very very badly.]
...Ugh, I hate talking about this. But it's important too, isn't it? Not to expect the worst, but... to take care of ourselves, in the future.
no subject
She loves him for that, this quality of his that's both sincere and reasonable in expectation, and not afraid to face unpleasantness if it some understanding might come of it. It's a display of noble maturity. ] Mm. Agreed, and... I'm glad you've said something like this. [ She lifts her hand from his to place it upon his cheek. With a gentle touch, she turns his face to the side, kissing his cheek. ] Brave, like always.
[ "To take care of ourselves in the future." ]
...Until that time comes, if and when we partt... I'll enjoy cherish every moment I have with you.
no subject
Yeah... me too. I'm glad you're with me.
[The idea of trying something new, getting professional help, admitting his flaws and weaknesses more openly- it isn't so frightful as it would be if he were alone. He'd probably just go back to his old ways and try to manage it solo, say he's fine and bury it deeper. Now he can acknowledge that's not healthy anymore. The moment he'd hurt her instead of just himself was a wake-up call that what he's doing isn't meant to be a good thing, or even merely acceptable. Bad for him, bad for others.
He really hopes this is better, that he can be better. Not that he can be fixed, because he's not broken. Just... better, like a wound that needs closing, a sickness to be excised.]
no subject
Her fingers slide and lock through his, and she presses her palm into his, her touch warm, reaffirming that yes, she is still here... and so is he.
Why is it that they must always ground themselves for the inevitable reality that either of them might leave? Is it because that, in a perfect world, allowing themselves to wonder what it might be like for them to stay together is too painful, knowing that it would never be? As she takes a few more moments to think over all that they've discussed, for the first time she allows herself to wonder what it would be like to remain with him.... Surprising herself, she finds that it isn't as painful as she'd thought it'd be to allow herself some indulgent wishful-thinking, in some dream where they both might live. Of course the sorrow comes from knowing that it can never be realized, but there's no harm in dreaming, because it's just that.
Another smile forms upon her lips, and she cuddles more against him. ] ...We'll manage through this. The future we make here for us... it's ours.