Well, there's always fire magic... I'll probably be okay. [A hut sounds like work, though maybe it's worth trying to do at least once. His head tilts, not immediately getting her phrasing.] You're not into it?
[He's noticed that her feet are always warm in bed, like the rest of her, but he's not really held them for a substantial duration. She is warm enough, but to melt a frozen lake... hmm. Worth experimenting with?]
I-I'm just worried that staying put for a long time would weaken the ice. [ She admits, nervous. ] The last thing I'd want is for you to fall through and... you know.
[ Be hurt. Have another near-death experience of being hypothermic. ]
[He winds his arm around her, settling in comfortably. He's had the past several months to get used to this... addition to his body, and while it still catches him off guard sometimes when he sees himself unclothed in the mirror, the protective trade-off is well worth any lingering discomfort. This is another side effect they've discovered, if it's actually true. Another side effect that isn't bad. Maybe it's a sign that he should keep leaning into it- that this truly is a good thing like he'd hoped and believed since she saved him. Life, protection, now warmth... the crystal she shared has granted him many rewards, and he's grateful.
Well. I dunno if I'd go that far. [She can fish, or not fish! He's done it on his own plenty of times.] I just think you should be able to do whatever you wanna do.
[His responding noise is quiet but pleased, both with himself and her answer. He loves fishing, that much is certain, and could do it all day by himself, but... it is more fun with good company.]
[ A date, and she won't say no to that, now that he's thought of a solution to a potential ice-melting situation.
Pyra settles against him, lifting her mug of hot cocoa to her lips to take another sip. All the marshmallows have melted into the chocolate at this point, making the drink creamer than before.
She glances at him, something on her mind. The next topic, she fears, might put a damper on the cozy mood, but she'd rather check in on him than not at all, and he's so good as masking how he feels and whatever struggles he may have. ]
Mm, Noct? I wanted to ask sooner but...
How are you feeling? Is everything okay with you and Regis?
[The quiet between them is so comfortable and cozy that he'd be content to sit like that for a while without a word spoken; there is a certain satisfaction to be found in silence, sometimes. When she breaks it her voice is welcome, of course, and while the topic is less jovial and his smile softens a little, he doesn't lose it.]
I'm fine. [Ah, wait.] I mean, I'm okay. We talked, and... things are a little more complicated than they were before, but it's... I don't know. [He exhales heavily, a little tired, a little relieved.] It's kinda nice to not have to hide it anymore.
[He knows he doesn't have to express what "it" is. Maybe it's a selfish relief, but... he feels it, nonetheless.]
[ Pyra sets down her mug as he answers her, and when he's done speaking, her arm links with his.
He sounds sincere, relieved. That's a good thing. All that worrying over hiding his fate has been lifted from his shoulders. While telling his father the truth would have given him control, perhaps allowing that control to stay out of one's hands is a blessing in disguise, so as to not make such a difficult choice.
Now Regis knows. Now Noctis is relieved. Now they can build something new together, without such a wall between them. ] ....Mm.
[ She nods, quiet. ]
I see so much of you and him in both of you. Your care for others, I mean.
Really... [He thinks for a moment, musing over those words.] Someone back home said something like that to me, too. "You're just like your father."
[There'd been moments where he'd wondered if that should sting or be a point of pride; his first true act as king, without one of his retainers to "babysit" so to speak, and he was being compared to the man he'd wished could be here to negotiate instead. But Regis wasn't around, and he'd failed negotiations with Accordo decades before. Whatever his strengths and failings may be, Noctis had succeeded- and to be a king like his father is something he takes pride in, undeniably.]
Mm. [ She continues to smile at him, admiring him as usual. She had meant her words, comparing them to each other not through some kingship, but for their compassion, and she hopes he sees that, too. The both of them are more than the crown on their heads. ]
Well, I wouldn't call you exactly like but... Your deep want to protect others-- [ Whether that's protecting others from physical harm or an unpleasant truth, they exercise that trait. ] that's something you two have in common.
Pretty sure everyone knows we're not exactly alike in many categories.
[Her words are taken in good faith, at least. He is and is not like his father in many ways; they're both kind, yes, but in him is a temper and impatience that he's never witnessed in Regis, and the king possessed selflessness that he'd struggled to come to terms with. He's not sure he could have kept this secret to protect his father for 15 years, considering he'd barely managed to endure less than two.
Surely there must be other successes he could boast that his father could not have done, if he were to think about it. The menacing dungeons beneath the tombs, full of ancient daemons. Collecting so many Royal Arms. Technically defeating Niflheim, though most of that was Ardyn and the country eating itself alive. Mastering the ring eventually and claiming its power. Even through his failures, there was success to be found. He's... similar, but different enough, and although his heart will always put his father on a pedestal of strength and kingly wisdom, he knows he's doing them both a disservice to do that too much. He's... done okay, hasn't he? Come into his own. He's working on it, anyway.]
I was so mad at him, for so long... he lied about the treaty, the proposal... acted like everything was fine. Then I found out he lied my whole life about my future and what I'd end up doing. I thought, "he should have told me! Wouldn't that be better?" ...But then I went and did the exact same thing, for the same reasons. This whole thing... it helped me understand why he did it.
[ She listens to him patiently, watching his expression carefully. They've had a part of this conversation before, where she had suggested that him not telling his father wasn't exactly working for him, or that something had to give, only to come to a conclusion that waiting and Noctis' decision would be the best option.
Is she reading him wrong, that he now regrets it? It's as if there's still something unresolved in his tone, but she can't identify what. ]
What other reason could there be? To protect me, of course. And... I wanted to protect him, too.
[He smiles faintly, shaking his head.]
This fate... he must have fought against it, here and there. Tried to find other ways. Like Cor and Ardyn talked about. So him not telling me made the most sense at first- why would he say anything, if he was determined to change it? But there was so much else going on... and after two thousand years, no one else came up with a better idea. A few years in our generation wasn't gonna make much of a difference.
[He swirls his hot chocolate around, taking a long sip. The chocolate is soothing, a pleasant balm against the grim truth of what he has to say.]
What I have to do... it doesn't make anyone happy. And sometimes I think about how I might've grown up, if I had known for all these years. Would I even be the same person? Would I have bothered with friends, or getting to know people outside of the ones I had to know, like Luna or the Six? Would I have learned anything except how to fight, if it was all pointless? I... don't think I'd be me. I'd just have been like the walking dead, waiting for the Crystal to call on me. Life wouldn't have any meaning or value, so I'd have nothing to lose when I died. By not telling me anything, my dad... saved my life, even if he can't actually save my life. Does that make sense?
[He'd lived 20 years, believing it was a fragment of how long he'd exist in their world, when in truth it was all he'd ever get. Such a short amount of time, but it was... a pretty good life. He grew up, he learned so much, he gained friends and allies, seen a good chunk of what the world had to offer. For twenty years he lived.]
[ A part of her thinks he's discrediting himself. If Noctis had known the truth growing up, she would have liked to believe that he would have the strength of heart to love and have friends anyway. He knows the truth now, and he's still been willing to love and laugh in his borrowed time, to go so far as to enter a relationship with her-- even if they must part eventually. He's helped teach her that very same lesson. Surely, she hopes, he isn't just some dead man walking, as he is now. ]
I see...
[ But she can't simply believe he would have been capable, just because he's capable now-- applying that to his younger self would be unfair, illogical. While there can be debates on letting him known sooner than later, or the method of delivery, being raised and going through his formative years with the knowledge would indeed have changed him, as he's said. She takes his word and respect it, and...
It's tragic, in a way, that he believes his life had been saved in such a way-- not because of Noctis or Regis or any shortcoming on their parts, but because the circumstances and his fate could not allow him better. A fiercely protective part of her flares within her, albeit briefly. His life shouldn't have had a need to be saved in any literal or metaphorical sense of the word. He didn't ask for this, he didn't choose this. He should live--
But the world isn't that kind, and his world is suffering.
She can't say she'd do differently. In the end, she knows she would lie, too, to loved ones about her own fate, if they can live their lives ignorant and allow them some peace. Saving them, as Noctis has said.
Pyra's hand finds his. ]
....Then... I'm glad he did. [ Noctis has already expressed how he had previously felt frustrated and conflicted about it, but it's something that it seems Noctis has worked through and forgiven. She looks at him, emotion filling her voice, her gaze holding his meaningfully. ]
He allowed you to be who you are now, someone so incredibly wonderful. If he made that decision so long ago, then he did so perfectly, because you couldn't have become any more perfect than you are today.
[He blinks at that, caught off guard for a moment, though perhaps he shouldn't be. It's not unusual for her to compliment him, but the emphasis in her expression makes him pause before he says something playfully dismissive, to give her words the weight they deserve.
Maybe he doesn't always have the best opinion of himself, finding his flaws too easy to pick apart and overthink, while at the same time trying to project more bravado than he perhaps deserves, depending on the situation. But despite it all, he... he likes himself, who he grew up to become, who he's still growing into being. He's not as full of regret as someone who'd lived a poor life might be, facing off against the cliff of his inevitable demise far too soon. He can think back on so many good things, accomplishments and victories and so many good memories. Life has been hard, and harsh, and cruel. But so much of it was beautiful, too.
He squeezes her hand, lifting it up to his lips to kiss the back of it.]
I'm really lucky... I've got so much good in my life. There's a lot of people we'd have to line up and thank if we wanted to give credit how 'perfect' I actually am. [His voice softens.] But yeah... I'm glad he did, too. I'm not mad anymore, at him, or myself.
[Hiding it, not hiding it... he can't say for sure what would be the right decision, not really. The alternate version exists only as a grim imagination, not a reality he'd had to live through. He can't imagine it being better, though. He'd had 20 years of blissful ignorance, and his father had had a chance to know him here without that gloom hanging over their heads. It's a blessing, and he'll take it. No regrets.]
[ Then she'd thank each and every one of them too, all who have contributed and interacted with him to help guide or influence the man he's become today.
...She's glad that it's been resolved, whatever frustration he had as a youth that carried over to adulthood, and she's equally glad that he's found understanding through it. That's not a task many can accomplish, no matter how many years have passed. This is just another thing for which to admire him. ]
Do you think your relationship has changed, now that he knows?
[ Noctis had seemed to be worried about that, before. ]
[He huffs a long exhale, brows furrowing. It is a good question, and one he's been kind of playing by ear since his father woke.]
I can't see how it wouldn't, but... I don't know how it'll go, yet. I mean, I don't think it'll be a bad thing, but will it be better? Worse? We should be more on the same page, I... think.
[Really, he hopes. But he can't speak for Regis, and they're still working through it. It'll probably take some time.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
no subject
no subject
[ Unless that ice be really thicc ]
But maybe for a half hour at a time?
no subject
[He's noticed that her feet are always warm in bed, like the rest of her, but he's not really held them for a substantial duration. She is warm enough, but to melt a frozen lake... hmm. Worth experimenting with?]
no subject
[ Be hurt. Have another near-death experience of being hypothermic. ]
no subject
[He gives his chest a light tap, (mostly) joking.]
no subject
She does not know the answer to that question, even if it's obvious that he's joking around. ]
Erm, does it?
no subject
Oh, uh... I don't know. Maybe? [He has felt less cold this year...] I thought the weather was just tamer than usual.
no subject
If it's true-- that he's naturally warmer because of her crystal-- that means he has an extra layer of protection against the cold.
That means that she's helping him, and that he now has a piece of her warmth with him, always. ]
It's... not.
But I think that this means you've got a little extra defense from any chills. [ Pyra snuggles her arm against his. ]
no subject
[He winds his arm around her, settling in comfortably. He's had the past several months to get used to this... addition to his body, and while it still catches him off guard sometimes when he sees himself unclothed in the mirror, the protective trade-off is well worth any lingering discomfort. This is another side effect they've discovered, if it's actually true. Another side effect that isn't bad. Maybe it's a sign that he should keep leaning into it- that this truly is a good thing like he'd hoped and believed since she saved him. Life, protection, now warmth... the crystal she shared has granted him many rewards, and he's grateful.
His brows furrow, the thought occurring to him.]
Hey, what if I used blizzard magic on the ice?
no subject
[ She appears thoughtful for a moment, and then nods. ]
I think that'd work.
[ Then, a smile, a bit coy. ]
You really want me to go ice-fishing with you, don't you?
no subject
no subject
You really are too sweet.
[ Leaning him, she give him a peck on the cheek. ] Sweeter than my chocolate....
Okay, let's do that. Ice fishing this week.
no subject
It's a date.
no subject
Pyra settles against him, lifting her mug of hot cocoa to her lips to take another sip. All the marshmallows have melted into the chocolate at this point, making the drink creamer than before.
She glances at him, something on her mind. The next topic, she fears, might put a damper on the cozy mood, but she'd rather check in on him than not at all, and he's so good as masking how he feels and whatever struggles he may have. ]
Mm, Noct? I wanted to ask sooner but...
How are you feeling? Is everything okay with you and Regis?
no subject
I'm fine. [Ah, wait.] I mean, I'm okay. We talked, and... things are a little more complicated than they were before, but it's... I don't know. [He exhales heavily, a little tired, a little relieved.] It's kinda nice to not have to hide it anymore.
[He knows he doesn't have to express what "it" is. Maybe it's a selfish relief, but... he feels it, nonetheless.]
no subject
He sounds sincere, relieved. That's a good thing. All that worrying over hiding his fate has been lifted from his shoulders. While telling his father the truth would have given him control, perhaps allowing that control to stay out of one's hands is a blessing in disguise, so as to not make such a difficult choice.
Now Regis knows. Now Noctis is relieved. Now they can build something new together, without such a wall between them. ] ....Mm.
[ She nods, quiet. ]
I see so much of you and him in both of you. Your care for others, I mean.
no subject
[There'd been moments where he'd wondered if that should sting or be a point of pride; his first true act as king, without one of his retainers to "babysit" so to speak, and he was being compared to the man he'd wished could be here to negotiate instead. But Regis wasn't around, and he'd failed negotiations with Accordo decades before. Whatever his strengths and failings may be, Noctis had succeeded- and to be a king like his father is something he takes pride in, undeniably.]
no subject
Well, I wouldn't call you exactly like but... Your deep want to protect others-- [ Whether that's protecting others from physical harm or an unpleasant truth, they exercise that trait. ] that's something you two have in common.
no subject
[Her words are taken in good faith, at least. He is and is not like his father in many ways; they're both kind, yes, but in him is a temper and impatience that he's never witnessed in Regis, and the king possessed selflessness that he'd struggled to come to terms with. He's not sure he could have kept this secret to protect his father for 15 years, considering he'd barely managed to endure less than two.
Surely there must be other successes he could boast that his father could not have done, if he were to think about it. The menacing dungeons beneath the tombs, full of ancient daemons. Collecting so many Royal Arms. Technically defeating Niflheim, though most of that was Ardyn and the country eating itself alive. Mastering the ring eventually and claiming its power. Even through his failures, there was success to be found. He's... similar, but different enough, and although his heart will always put his father on a pedestal of strength and kingly wisdom, he knows he's doing them both a disservice to do that too much. He's... done okay, hasn't he? Come into his own. He's working on it, anyway.]
I was so mad at him, for so long... he lied about the treaty, the proposal... acted like everything was fine. Then I found out he lied my whole life about my future and what I'd end up doing. I thought, "he should have told me! Wouldn't that be better?" ...But then I went and did the exact same thing, for the same reasons. This whole thing... it helped me understand why he did it.
no subject
Is she reading him wrong, that he now regrets it? It's as if there's still something unresolved in his tone, but she can't identify what. ]
And... why do you think he did? Or... you did?
no subject
[He smiles faintly, shaking his head.]
This fate... he must have fought against it, here and there. Tried to find other ways. Like Cor and Ardyn talked about. So him not telling me made the most sense at first- why would he say anything, if he was determined to change it? But there was so much else going on... and after two thousand years, no one else came up with a better idea. A few years in our generation wasn't gonna make much of a difference.
[He swirls his hot chocolate around, taking a long sip. The chocolate is soothing, a pleasant balm against the grim truth of what he has to say.]
What I have to do... it doesn't make anyone happy. And sometimes I think about how I might've grown up, if I had known for all these years. Would I even be the same person? Would I have bothered with friends, or getting to know people outside of the ones I had to know, like Luna or the Six? Would I have learned anything except how to fight, if it was all pointless? I... don't think I'd be me. I'd just have been like the walking dead, waiting for the Crystal to call on me. Life wouldn't have any meaning or value, so I'd have nothing to lose when I died. By not telling me anything, my dad... saved my life, even if he can't actually save my life. Does that make sense?
[He'd lived 20 years, believing it was a fragment of how long he'd exist in their world, when in truth it was all he'd ever get. Such a short amount of time, but it was... a pretty good life. He grew up, he learned so much, he gained friends and allies, seen a good chunk of what the world had to offer. For twenty years he lived.]
no subject
I see...
[ But she can't simply believe he would have been capable, just because he's capable now-- applying that to his younger self would be unfair, illogical. While there can be debates on letting him known sooner than later, or the method of delivery, being raised and going through his formative years with the knowledge would indeed have changed him, as he's said. She takes his word and respect it, and...
It's tragic, in a way, that he believes his life had been saved in such a way-- not because of Noctis or Regis or any shortcoming on their parts, but because the circumstances and his fate could not allow him better. A fiercely protective part of her flares within her, albeit briefly. His life shouldn't have had a need to be saved in any literal or metaphorical sense of the word. He didn't ask for this, he didn't choose this. He should live--
But the world isn't that kind, and his world is suffering.
She can't say she'd do differently. In the end, she knows she would lie, too, to loved ones about her own fate, if they can live their lives ignorant and allow them some peace. Saving them, as Noctis has said.
Pyra's hand finds his. ]
....Then... I'm glad he did. [ Noctis has already expressed how he had previously felt frustrated and conflicted about it, but it's something that it seems Noctis has worked through and forgiven. She looks at him, emotion filling her voice, her gaze holding his meaningfully. ]
He allowed you to be who you are now, someone so incredibly wonderful. If he made that decision so long ago, then he did so perfectly, because you couldn't have become any more perfect than you are today.
no subject
Maybe he doesn't always have the best opinion of himself, finding his flaws too easy to pick apart and overthink, while at the same time trying to project more bravado than he perhaps deserves, depending on the situation. But despite it all, he... he likes himself, who he grew up to become, who he's still growing into being. He's not as full of regret as someone who'd lived a poor life might be, facing off against the cliff of his inevitable demise far too soon. He can think back on so many good things, accomplishments and victories and so many good memories. Life has been hard, and harsh, and cruel. But so much of it was beautiful, too.
He squeezes her hand, lifting it up to his lips to kiss the back of it.]
I'm really lucky... I've got so much good in my life. There's a lot of people we'd have to line up and thank if we wanted to give credit how 'perfect' I actually am. [His voice softens.] But yeah... I'm glad he did, too. I'm not mad anymore, at him, or myself.
[Hiding it, not hiding it... he can't say for sure what would be the right decision, not really. The alternate version exists only as a grim imagination, not a reality he'd had to live through. He can't imagine it being better, though. He'd had 20 years of blissful ignorance, and his father had had a chance to know him here without that gloom hanging over their heads. It's a blessing, and he'll take it. No regrets.]
no subject
...She's glad that it's been resolved, whatever frustration he had as a youth that carried over to adulthood, and she's equally glad that he's found understanding through it. That's not a task many can accomplish, no matter how many years have passed. This is just another thing for which to admire him. ]
Do you think your relationship has changed, now that he knows?
[ Noctis had seemed to be worried about that, before. ]
no subject
[He huffs a long exhale, brows furrowing. It is a good question, and one he's been kind of playing by ear since his father woke.]
I can't see how it wouldn't, but... I don't know how it'll go, yet. I mean, I don't think it'll be a bad thing, but will it be better? Worse? We should be more on the same page, I... think.
[Really, he hopes. But he can't speak for Regis, and they're still working through it. It'll probably take some time.]
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)