[ He's... got her there. She's not denying that she has immense power to share. In retrospect, it had been a mistake of hers to ask her initial question of "too much", even if it had been asked only in concern for him, if it's led to this.
She wonders what is going through his mind, what he's starting to think, if he's putting all the bits and pieces she has told him over the course of these months together.
This is what she was afraid of.... and what can she say to that. ] You're... very curious today. [ She shakes her head. ] I'm only glad to be able to support you.
[He's certainly often curious about her, it's just that she rarely actually answers his questions in a satisfying manner. Getting hints here and there is encouraging him to keep trying, though.
He shifts his weight from one foot to the other, tapping his toe on the floor.]
...Anyway, part of why I was asking- what about weapons? You know how to fight?
If she says that and it is one day necessary to fight with some weapon beside him (which might come sooner than later with the virtual reality game), that would draw even more attention. Either he’s question her lying, or question how she inherently knows how to use a weapon without training.
She’d rather be a liar. ] Er, some. [ A beat. ] Why... do you ask? For the game we are making?
Nah, more practical. Even someone who does support should know how to defend themselves.
[Is she really so protective of herself she can't even get into her training? Whatever secret she's keeping has got to be a wild one. Definitely curious.
And also a little exhausted, but he is nothing if not tenacious.]
[Doing the bare minimum for another person, gosh.]
Can I ask... how you plan on protecting me if you're not sure about me knowing the way you fight? Or is that another one of the big secrets you're not allowed to talk about.
[His tone isn't exactly judging, but it's a very matter-of-fact way of acknowledging what she's been doing.]
[Think back... think back... well, she's said a lot of things. But he takes a moment to focus back on how exactly she'd phrased it, because with her, wording seems to be a big part of what she says (and does not say).
[He watches her for a long moment, taking in her silence, her gaze on their hands. Even unspoken, her answer is meaningful, an acknowledgement of some kind of limitation she's under. Gently, he reaches out his other hand to curl it around their joined ones, giving them a squeeze.]
If you could, would you?
[Hypothetically. Theoretically. What he's considering... before anything happens, before any decision is made, can he rely on her?
[ She can protect him. She could even read the future for him. She could alter it for him. She had said to him before, that the power to change fate exists. The power to read butterfly effect changes there are far into the ages ahead also exist, to see for certain that the route they take isn't more damaging.
These are her powers.
But that is not what she is designed for. Destruction is what her ultimate privilege over the world is-- her world, anyway. However, that privilege does not give her a right use any of her power to help others with it when it may be so costly. What good is that power if it cannot protect those she loves?
[And he smiles, raising up their joined hands in an attempt to get her to lift her head as well, so she can see it. So maybe she can relax a little. He won't pry right now. It's obviously a struggle for her, whatever it is that's holding her back. But he has the answer he wanted, and for right now that's good enough for him.]
[ It takes a moment to recover from his inquiries into her abilities.
It's not okay, she thinks to herself. She may spin it as much as she likes, but ultimately this goes beyond what she's not saying to him. She is lying to him.
He deserves better, and she can't be that better person for him, not as she is. She should put a stop to this, but she can't do that either, because he's... he's someone whose company that she's grown especially fond of. She enjoys being by him, talking with him, listening to him. It's fun, being his friend. ]
[ It's not okay, but she continues to hold his hand. She wants to apologize for not being able to protect him, even if she wants to. He's already guessed that she doesn't tell him a lot. She also wants to thank him for dropping the subject... but he's already said that it's okay.
She squeezes his hand, now that their hold has been drawn to her attention. ] You really are sweet.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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She wonders what is going through his mind, what he's starting to think, if he's putting all the bits and pieces she has told him over the course of these months together.
This is what she was afraid of.... and what can she say to that. ] You're... very curious today. [ She shakes her head. ] I'm only glad to be able to support you.
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[He's certainly often curious about her, it's just that she rarely actually answers his questions in a satisfying manner. Getting hints here and there is encouraging him to keep trying, though.
He shifts his weight from one foot to the other, tapping his toe on the floor.]
...Anyway, part of why I was asking- what about weapons? You know how to fight?
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Er...my abilities are in support, as I've said.
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Yeah, you sure did. But do you have any weapons training?
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If she says that and it is one day necessary to fight with some weapon beside him (which might come sooner than later with the virtual reality game), that would draw even more attention. Either he’s question her lying, or question how she inherently knows how to use a weapon without training.
She’d rather be a liar. ] Er, some. [ A beat. ] Why... do you ask? For the game we are making?
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[Is she really so protective of herself she can't even get into her training? Whatever secret she's keeping has got to be a wild one. Definitely curious.
And also a little exhausted, but he is nothing if not tenacious.]
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Her hand is somewhat tenser in his. ] There’s... no telling when the barrier might be breached again.
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[Plenty of monsters to be found out in the greater world, surely. Walls don't protect people forever- he should know.]
It's worth thinking about, at least.
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Are you worried about me, Noct?
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[She's his friend? He's said this already? Why does she ask questions she should already know the answer to, gosh.]
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I know, what a hero I am.
[Doing the bare minimum for another person, gosh.]
Can I ask... how you plan on protecting me if you're not sure about me knowing the way you fight? Or is that another one of the big secrets you're not allowed to talk about.
[His tone isn't exactly judging, but it's a very matter-of-fact way of acknowledging what she's been doing.]
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At last her smile drops; he's worn her down in this charade. ]
....Think.... back to what I said.
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...Ah.]
You want to... but you're not able to.
[There's a big difference between the two.]
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If you could, would you?
[Hypothetically. Theoretically. What he's considering... before anything happens, before any decision is made, can he rely on her?
Can he trust her?]
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These are her powers.
But that is not what she is designed for. Destruction is what her ultimate privilege over the world is-- her world, anyway. However, that privilege does not give her a right use any of her power to help others with it when it may be so costly. What good is that power if it cannot protect those she loves?
Her answer comes without missing a beat: ]
Yes.
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Okay.
[And he smiles, raising up their joined hands in an attempt to get her to lift her head as well, so she can see it. So maybe she can relax a little. He won't pry right now. It's obviously a struggle for her, whatever it is that's holding her back. But he has the answer he wanted, and for right now that's good enough for him.]
It's okay.
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It's not okay, she thinks to herself. She may spin it as much as she likes, but ultimately this goes beyond what she's not saying to him. She is lying to him.
He deserves better, and she can't be that better person for him, not as she is. She should put a stop to this, but she can't do that either, because he's... he's someone whose company that she's grown especially fond of. She enjoys being by him, talking with him, listening to him. It's fun, being his friend. ]
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She squeezes his hand, now that their hold has been drawn to her attention. ] You really are sweet.
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Are you trying to distract me by embarrassing me again?
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If so, she appreciates it. ] Maybe.
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[Like the Old Tongue classes back home all over again. X means Y and Y means A and people only say half of what they mean 75% of the time...
Anyway, for the moment he's satisfied, so he frees one hand from around hers and jerks a thumb towards the door.]
Well, I'm out. Got some stuff to take care of. [And some thinking to do.] Same time next week?
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I look forward to it.