[That's such poetic phrasing to describe what he'd just done, which in his mind was the verbal equivalent of tossing a bone in the yard to see what dog bites.]
I think it's just easier to see what's in front of you than over your shoulder, if that makes any sense.
[He hesitates, then adds,]
If whatever that was made you feel worse, I'm not mad at you for it.
[ She shakes her head. ] No... No, that's not it. [ She doesn't feel worse. Just. A little surprised. ]
I--... [ She sighs again, as if conceding something, her tone reflective and soft. ] I won't try to "make it up" to you out of guilt. [ --Or at least, attempt to keep the guilt from creeping back in by her own nature of wanting to give and undo the harm she's done. Not that attempting to make up to someone is selfish in of itself, but... perhaps it's when that person says you've already done enough that the act of making-up becomes self-serving, a comfort to the offender, not the other. ] That's not what you want.
But, can I do something for you because you're... insightful and inspirational?
It's not like I'll know the motive unless you tell me.
[And if he questions her enough to drag said truth out of her, which... he doesn't especially like doing. This conversation has been mostly unpleasant for that very reason.]
But you'll know, so... I'm trusting you. [He reaches down to twine their fingers again, holding her hand as carefully as he might a figurine of glass, a priceless treasure.] You can do whatever, for me or for yourself, so long as it's what you want to, not because you think you have to. This shouldn't be like... obligatory.
[ She holds his hands just the same. Too often does she wonder if she's doing enough. Holding his hands is enough in this moment. ]
You're right. [ Sometimes it feels as if what she does isn't even obligatory, but a compulsion because of how much she loves him. ] Again, you're right.
Saying that, it's like you're a natural at relationships, too.
[ She desperately works to appease others and not harm. It doesn't feel as if she's doing this relationship just "okay", if she's harmed him. There is room for improvement on her end. ]
I've never been happier, Noct. You've done more than just okay.
That's such a lofty accomplishment when he considers how long she could have existed, even if not as her current self. It's humbling to think about, that he could have been the one to make her that happy.]
And Mythra?
[She's not alone, after all. Different layers. And a third now too, ethereal and mysterious, still out of his reach. He still has work to do, to truly understand to "we" that exists in "she", to find happiness for all of them together. Daunting, but exciting to think about as well.]
[ As a crystal, they had felt... nothing. Then for five hundred years, they were miserable. It hadn't been until coming here and learning to love that they truly began living. They're somehow closer to who they are because of love, and loving him. ]
Don't ever doubt that you're loving us somehow wrong. [ Easier said than done, but she wishes she could do better to show him that he's doing everything wonderfully. Merely describing how he loves as "okay" seems so mediocre as to be an insulting lie! ]
[He figured, but didn't want to assume, so hearing her say as much is a relief. He's still getting to know Mythra, but it's a world of a difference between now and how they started (back before he even knew she existed), and he genuinely would like for her to be happy as well. They've all come a long way, collectively. It's wild to look back on all that's changed since the day they met and she asked if he'd like to rest his head in her lap.]
Hmm... okay. [He's decided!] New rule, then: until otherwise stated, we're both amazing at this dating thing, we're allowed to say so, and everyone should be super jealous of us.
[And he will... try really hard to hold on to that confidence! If he can have an ego about his fighting skills, he can totally have one about his romancing ability. In... this one specific instance. Because she said so.]
[ This entire time she had been trying to convince him that he's admirable and people just fall for him. Maybe that's projecting on her part. Then again, maybe not. There are indeed a lot of people who love him, and at least a couple here that may actually be in love with him.
....She can't feel bad when she wants him to believe in himself and have confidence, though. ] Oh, so you finally agree! [ She perks up, smiling coyly at him. ] You're extraordinarily lovable?
I'm intensely lovable. Some might even swoon when they look in my direction. [Now look what you've done, now he's just a brat about it.] Princes are born with an inherent seduction stat booster. It just can't be helped.
[ She giggles contentedly, swinging their joined hands together. Inherent seduction stat booster-- funny. ] ...I suppose I didn't emulate that enough when I tried flirted with you just a few moments ago. It was a failed mission from the start!
Mm. Us Lucii have pretty deep connections with magic crystals, y'know.
[Which... is half-joking, half-not! Because it's true, and she's a crystal, kind of. But not his crystal, which is good. And it's- fine that she is what she is. Another mark in the column of why it's okay that she isn't human when the rest are.
...not that he thinks of her as a crystal all the time, and not that their relationship is based on power like it is with the Crystal at home, and not that he has to share their connection with other people or... shit. Was that okay? Shit.
--And now he's really second-guessing himself. He's going to be low-key worried about that fear of hers for a while.]
[ Her smiles tenses for a moment-- she had been hoping, if briefly, that he'd say that there was something else special about her. However, she cannot be... disappointed? upset? at being called a crystal, because it is the truth.
So her smile eases. Overall, she understands that he's being silly. And his silliness is a charming, lovely part of him... ]
That makes it almost sound as if we've met by fate.
[That awkward feeling when you know you've effed up a few seconds too late... he'd already suspected, but that brief tension in her expression had been enough to cement it. Shit, indeed.]
Um- no, not... not fated. [He'd really like there to be less destiny in his life, actually.] I mean, we chose it, like I said earlier...
[He really hopes that she remembers this moment the next time she tries to call him perfect, because he sure as hell isn't right now.]
[ Even while awkward, she sees him as adorable. ] Oh! But you're right, you know. I am a crystal....
[ She pauses. What part was the joke, then? The crystal part? Or that she had something unique about her that no one else has? Both? Now she's the one over thinking this! ]
Your crystal is a lot more connected to you, though.
You were able to connect better with me, though. When you share your power it's a given, sure, but like... sometimes it feels like you do something different, when we... you know. I felt it. Felt you. If that makes sense...
[He's blushing. He doesn't know how to describe it, he just knows it's a thing.]
Anyway, I'm pretty sure my crystal's not actually a person, but you are.
[ Oh. That. That connection during. On her part, it hadn't even been intentional. It had been tether between them that arose naturally, in the heat of the moment. Sharing her power with him is easy, but sharing that had been something deeper, not unlike how he had shared his own power with her, gifting her his crystal's magic.
She, too, can make the bond between them more permanent, that of a Blade's to a Driver's. But even if he would want that, could it potentially skew or tamper his crystal's power over him? But there it is, is words affirming that she is a person, not just a crystal. She smiles at that. The reason for her personhood is her humanity, her love. ]
.....Mm. It's nice, having humanity. [ With everything that entails. The good, the bad. The joy, the heartache. The ability to hold his hands in hers and look into his eyes. Something had changed within him after he had returned from being taken in by his own crystal, but his humanity remains. Together, they meet each other by that humanity and love. ] I wouldn't be able to love you, otherwise.
[ Or love enough to die for the world, but that's not at the forefront of her mind at the moment. ]
[She didn't deny it... huh. Okay, so it wasn't just his imagination. He's curious, but maybe now isn't the time or place to ask for more detail. Assuming she herself knows. He'll just quietly put a pin in that one, to perhaps ask in a more intimate or private setting. Not, uh. On a roof in the middle of town.
He's mostly just glad she's able to smile again, that he didn't totally wreck the good mood they'd managed to regain.]
I'm glad for that. [He pauses, then adds a bit tentatively,] You know... when I was inside my Crystal, I think... no, I felt. I was absorbing it. [Memories, power. Providence. That strange difference that he suspects she'd felt when she found him in the garden the night after he'd returned. He's still struggling to understand it, but he knows that it's there, now.] I'm carrying a part of it in me, and I don't think that's gonna go away until I do what's meant to be done.
[Until he dies, but they both know that. More and more, she'd said, and he always remembers. That isn't the point of his words right now. The point is... a softer attempt, maybe. Not a joke.
He offers up a cautious but hopeful smile, watching her.] Crystal and human, human and crystal. Not as different as you'd think.
[ He still seems like himself. Whatever influence his crystal has over him, she would never want that to overtake him completely. They cannot choose the fates that lie in store for them, and she cannot like how his crystal imposed on him a new power to see a prophecy through... but she can choose to focus on the similarities they have because of it, their bond, and the relationship they share.
She appreciates how he makes this connection to her, and that appreciation forms into a smile that mirrors his own. Her fingers curl into his hand. ] Saying it like that... I suppose you're right. [ Human and crystal. ]
Even if you didn't absorb a part of the crystal within you, you'd still shine. I hope you don't forget that, either.
Uh-huh... I'll try not to, so long as you don't forget this.
[He lifts their joined hands to his lips, lightly kissing the back of hers. His ring is on that hand, but so too is the bracelet she'd given him; a connection of one crystal worn to offset the unpleasantness of another, to remind him that it isn't always hurtful or bad. So when he looks down he might think of her and not just his doomed future.
Whatever his thoughts, or her thoughts, might be about what they are and how they differ, he'd rather focus on how they're alike. That they're in love (daunting, but wonderful), that they're together (both, again) and that they chose this. Until they're forced apart by something he can't fight, this is what he wants, and he's happy.]
[ It's unprovoked instances like him kissing her hand that only reinforce her idea that he's natural at-- well, perhaps this isn't flirting. But he is a loving person. As he lowers their hands between them, she breaks their contact to steps forward to pull him into an embrace, placing her hands upon his arms, her head against his shoulder. ] I won't.
[ She won't forget him, if she can help it. She won't forget this, either, this moment in time upon a roof in an alien city with nothing but the twilight around them. So often have they spoken of the dawn, but the sunset is nice, too.
She pulls away from the hug, deciding to link her arm with hers. Her fingers slide over his hand, softly brushing over his rough knuckles to have her fingers interlace with his. Like this, she rests her head against his upper arm, turning her gaze back towards the barrier to enjoy with him. ]
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I think it's just easier to see what's in front of you than over your shoulder, if that makes any sense.
[He hesitates, then adds,]
If whatever that was made you feel worse, I'm not mad at you for it.
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I--... [ She sighs again, as if conceding something, her tone reflective and soft. ] I won't try to "make it up" to you out of guilt. [ --Or at least, attempt to keep the guilt from creeping back in by her own nature of wanting to give and undo the harm she's done. Not that attempting to make up to someone is selfish in of itself, but... perhaps it's when that person says you've already done enough that the act of making-up becomes self-serving, a comfort to the offender, not the other. ] That's not what you want.
But, can I do something for you because you're... insightful and inspirational?
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[And if he questions her enough to drag said truth out of her, which... he doesn't especially like doing. This conversation has been mostly unpleasant for that very reason.]
But you'll know, so... I'm trusting you. [He reaches down to twine their fingers again, holding her hand as carefully as he might a figurine of glass, a priceless treasure.] You can do whatever, for me or for yourself, so long as it's what you want to, not because you think you have to. This shouldn't be like... obligatory.
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You're right. [ Sometimes it feels as if what she does isn't even obligatory, but a compulsion because of how much she loves him. ] Again, you're right.
Saying that, it's like you're a natural at relationships, too.
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[Or he's desperate not to lose anyone and his mind's working overdrive to avoid it. You know, either/or.]
This is kinda trial by error, here. But I think we've both done okay, yeah?
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I've never been happier, Noct. You've done more than just okay.
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That's such a lofty accomplishment when he considers how long she could have existed, even if not as her current self. It's humbling to think about, that he could have been the one to make her that happy.]
And Mythra?
[She's not alone, after all. Different layers. And a third now too, ethereal and mysterious, still out of his reach. He still has work to do, to truly understand to "we" that exists in "she", to find happiness for all of them together. Daunting, but exciting to think about as well.]
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Mythra, too.
[ As a crystal, they had felt... nothing. Then for five hundred years, they were miserable. It hadn't been until coming here and learning to love that they truly began living. They're somehow closer to who they are because of love, and loving him. ]
Don't ever doubt that you're loving us somehow wrong. [ Easier said than done, but she wishes she could do better to show him that he's doing everything wonderfully. Merely describing how he loves as "okay" seems so mediocre as to be an insulting lie! ]
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Hmm... okay. [He's decided!] New rule, then: until otherwise stated, we're both amazing at this dating thing, we're allowed to say so, and everyone should be super jealous of us.
[And he will... try really hard to hold on to that confidence! If he can have an ego about his fighting skills, he can totally have one about his romancing ability. In... this one specific instance. Because she said so.]
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....She can't feel bad when she wants him to believe in himself and have confidence, though. ] Oh, so you finally agree! [ She perks up, smiling coyly at him. ] You're extraordinarily lovable?
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I'm intensely lovable. Some might even swoon when they look in my direction. [Now look what you've done, now he's just a brat about it.] Princes are born with an inherent seduction stat booster. It just can't be helped.
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[His tone is still casual; hardly a failure anyway, considering how thoroughly he's already seduced.
He does hesitate a moment next, because... well, he's curious, and he's hoping she won't take it the wrong way, but.]
Instead of royal charm, you do have one thing going for you that no one else does.
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...Oh?
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[Which... is half-joking, half-not! Because it's true, and she's a crystal, kind of. But not his crystal, which is good. And it's- fine that she is what she is. Another mark in the column of why it's okay that she isn't human when the rest are.
...not that he thinks of her as a crystal all the time, and not that their relationship is based on power like it is with the Crystal at home, and not that he has to share their connection with other people or... shit. Was that okay? Shit.
--And now he's really second-guessing himself. He's going to be low-key worried about that fear of hers for a while.]
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So her smile eases. Overall, she understands that he's being silly. And his silliness is a charming, lovely part of him... ]
That makes it almost sound as if we've met by fate.
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Um- no, not... not fated. [He'd really like there to be less destiny in his life, actually.] I mean, we chose it, like I said earlier...
[He really hopes that she remembers this moment the next time she tries to call him perfect, because he sure as hell isn't right now.]
...It was a bad joke.
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[ She pauses. What part was the joke, then? The crystal part? Or that she had something unique about her that no one else has? Both? Now she's the one over thinking this! ]
Your crystal is a lot more connected to you, though.
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[He's blushing. He doesn't know how to describe it, he just knows it's a thing.]
Anyway, I'm pretty sure my crystal's not actually a person, but you are.
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She, too, can make the bond between them more permanent, that of a Blade's to a Driver's. But even if he would want that, could it potentially skew or tamper his crystal's power over him? But there it is, is words affirming that she is a person, not just a crystal. She smiles at that. The reason for her personhood is her humanity, her love. ]
.....Mm. It's nice, having humanity. [ With everything that entails. The good, the bad. The joy, the heartache. The ability to hold his hands in hers and look into his eyes. Something had changed within him after he had returned from being taken in by his own crystal, but his humanity remains. Together, they meet each other by that humanity and love. ] I wouldn't be able to love you, otherwise.
[ Or love enough to die for the world, but that's not at the forefront of her mind at the moment. ]
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He's mostly just glad she's able to smile again, that he didn't totally wreck the good mood they'd managed to regain.]
I'm glad for that. [He pauses, then adds a bit tentatively,] You know... when I was inside my Crystal, I think... no, I felt. I was absorbing it. [Memories, power. Providence. That strange difference that he suspects she'd felt when she found him in the garden the night after he'd returned. He's still struggling to understand it, but he knows that it's there, now.] I'm carrying a part of it in me, and I don't think that's gonna go away until I do what's meant to be done.
[Until he dies, but they both know that. More and more, she'd said, and he always remembers. That isn't the point of his words right now. The point is... a softer attempt, maybe. Not a joke.
He offers up a cautious but hopeful smile, watching her.] Crystal and human, human and crystal. Not as different as you'd think.
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She appreciates how he makes this connection to her, and that appreciation forms into a smile that mirrors his own. Her fingers curl into his hand. ] Saying it like that... I suppose you're right. [ Human and crystal. ]
Even if you didn't absorb a part of the crystal within you, you'd still shine. I hope you don't forget that, either.
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[He lifts their joined hands to his lips, lightly kissing the back of hers. His ring is on that hand, but so too is the bracelet she'd given him; a connection of one crystal worn to offset the unpleasantness of another, to remind him that it isn't always hurtful or bad. So when he looks down he might think of her and not just his doomed future.
Whatever his thoughts, or her thoughts, might be about what they are and how they differ, he'd rather focus on how they're alike. That they're in love (daunting, but wonderful), that they're together (both, again) and that they chose this. Until they're forced apart by something he can't fight, this is what he wants, and he's happy.]
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[ She won't forget him, if she can help it. She won't forget this, either, this moment in time upon a roof in an alien city with nothing but the twilight around them. So often have they spoken of the dawn, but the sunset is nice, too.
She pulls away from the hug, deciding to link her arm with hers. Her fingers slide over his hand, softly brushing over his rough knuckles to have her fingers interlace with his. Like this, she rests her head against his upper arm, turning her gaze back towards the barrier to enjoy with him. ]