Then, I truly wish you the best in changing such an unhealthy way of thinking, at least in this world. What I write is of concern for him. I do not mean to harm you.
I did not ask about Tony Stark. I understand if you're coming from a place of infuriation, but if you do not trust me, why are you telling me this?
I am telling you these things because not trusting you does not mean I will withhold information that I believe is important for you to have. You have clearly spoken with him since I asked his input regarding us, and I would bet my life that he spoke to you of me.
I will preface this by saying I truly do not think he is a bad person. I believe there is a good man in him that I have not been privileged with meeting.
However, my experience thus far has been him consistently taking everything I say or do and twisting it into something awful. He only heard what he wanted to hear, and has used it all to paint me as a sick, horrible person. I have no doubt that if he's said such things about me to my face, that he's said things about me behind my back.
Again, I do not think he is a bad person. I think he truly believes he is helping. I just don't believe he was ever truly helping me. To him I am some crazy, stuck-up bitch who vilifies sweet, helpless little girls. To him, I am a monster he needs to protect others from.
Fine. I can accept this.
I had just hoped to find a way to make things work between us that was fair.
Whatever your relationship with him, please do not let my words impact it negatively. I don't want that at all. If he is good to you, I'm glad. You are a better person than me. I know you must be good for him, and he deserves good things to help him heal.
What I believe you are is all you saw fit to show me, whatever that may be. I will not apologize for that. I will also not apologize for sharing with you what I said to Tony Stark. Use the information in whatever way you see fit. I don't care.
If you find a way to remove me from Noctis' life without causing him harm I will not stop you. Likewise, if you wish to cause me harm in recompense, you need only arrange a meeting for it.
Otherwise I have apologized to you enough, and will accept that the blame for everything falls upon my shoulders alone.
I deserve it, for hurting him. I had just wanted to keep him safe.
You haven't hurt me. You remind me of things that hurt me in the past, but it is no fault of yours. I am hoping to resolve this soon.
I apologize for my outburst. Things have been stressful as of late, and I had not expected to feel so betrayed. It caught me by surprise and I reacted inappropriately.
However this decision is selfish, as it is about my desire to keep him safe and does not take into account what he may want. My fears should not outweigh his agency, no matter how well founded they may be.
I am aware. Fortunately the unpleasant memories only contribute to my distrust, not the rest.
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no subject
I did not ask about Tony Stark. I understand if you're coming from a place of infuriation, but if you do not trust me, why are you telling me this?
no subject
I will preface this by saying I truly do not think he is a bad person. I believe there is a good man in him that I have not been privileged with meeting.
However, my experience thus far has been him consistently taking everything I say or do and twisting it into something awful. He only heard what he wanted to hear, and has used it all to paint me as a sick, horrible person. I have no doubt that if he's said such things about me to my face, that he's said things about me behind my back.
Again, I do not think he is a bad person. I think he truly believes he is helping. I just don't believe he was ever truly helping me. To him I am some crazy, stuck-up bitch who vilifies sweet, helpless little girls. To him, I am a monster he needs to protect others from.
Fine. I can accept this.
I had just hoped to find a way to make things work between us that was fair.
Whatever your relationship with him, please do not let my words impact it negatively. I don't want that at all. If he is good to you, I'm glad. You are a better person than me. I know you must be good for him, and he deserves good things to help him heal.
no subject
I see you still believe me to be a helpless child.
no subject
If you find a way to remove me from Noctis' life without causing him harm I will not stop you. Likewise, if you wish to cause me harm in recompense, you need only arrange a meeting for it.
Otherwise I have apologized to you enough, and will accept that the blame for everything falls upon my shoulders alone.
no subject
Or, tell me how I have hurt you!
~40 mins later
You haven't hurt me. You remind me of things that hurt me in the past, but it is no fault of yours. I am hoping to resolve this soon.
I apologize for my outburst. Things have been stressful as of late, and I had not expected to feel so betrayed. It caught me by surprise and I reacted inappropriately.
no subject
I am not those things. You are projecting on me.
You need to speak with someone who you trust.
no subject
However this decision is selfish, as it is about my desire to keep him safe and does not take into account what he may want. My fears should not outweigh his agency, no matter how well founded they may be.
I am aware. Fortunately the unpleasant memories only contribute to my distrust, not the rest.
I will figure it out, thank you.
no subject