[That distant look distresses him, like there's even more that he's not understanding, but until he clears the air he can't really suss out what the issue is. So, with a deep breath, he tells her all of it:
Era's plan to free Emet from an entity that held his soul prisoner for millennia. How she hadn't asked him to help, he had offered. How they'd begun as an innocent spar, a test run under false pretense to catch Emet unawares, since if he knew ahead of time that imprisoning soul would kill Era. How when the time came she'd temporarily wounded herself for a type of soul magic he didn't really understand. How she had been, as she'd said, the target of the transformed Emet's ire, and they were to serve as defense and distraction, which is why he'd promised his safety despite all the secrecy. How it had worked as intended, and everyone was safe, though recovery might take some time. How he had been given permission to tell Pyra but only just before, that it had been a condition of his participation but he had opted to keep it vague to not break Era's confidence or worry Pyra overmuch- something that had obviously failed.
When he's done, he closes it off with another, quiet,]
Sorry.
[He knows this has been upsetting, but he hopes she can understand why he did what he did. It was the best option he could think of when pulled in two directions, but it seemed as if there was no getting out of this without causing some strife. He really didn't expect things to go south, but that's his failing.]
[ Throughout all of this, she remains quiet as he explains. ]
Please, don’t apologize…. Everything turned out alright in the end. [ She concludes, her thumb brushing over the side of his hand.
Everything went according to plan. Is she making this more difficult than it’s supposed to be? Is what she’s feeling here, this hurt, misplaced? As doubt clouds her further, she looks up at him uncertainly. ]
It doesn’t bother you? Not the… going into battle part. But told not to share the whys with someone close to you?
Not really… I've had to keep a lot of secrets over the years. I can't even count the number of times I had to give Prompto some vague reason for bailing on him because of state secrets or whatever. Everyone has stuff they can't or don't want to have broadcast out of their control.
[This is hardly the first time that a secret had lay between them- it's just among the first that he's been upfront about keeping, as far as he can recall.]
It's not always my call to make, and sometimes it's necessary, yeah. Do you think it's a bad thing to honour someone else's request to keep things between you and them? Even temporarily?
[This time, he pauses longer to consider her question, starting to get a feel for what's bothering her. Rather than answering directly, he instead counters in a quiet, careful voice,]
Are you asking me that because it's Era, or because you're my girlfriend?
[It could be another reason, and she's welcome to correct him, but those are the two most valid reasons that come to mind.]
[ She doesn’t need to pause to think of her answer. ] Because we’re together.
[ …
Damn if that doesn’t sound entitled. Selfish. And… putting herself as someone valued enough not to be left in the dark with something important. But if his upbringing means he’s used to doing so, and will continue to do so, then she’ll simply have to adjust to that. Different expectations lead to disappointment; this, she knows, and her own let her down. It’s a classic tale. Pyra exhales. ]
Sorry, I… I suppose that doesn’t grant an exception, does it.
[That makes him wince; he hates the phrasing of it, like he's choosing others over her. Maybe he is, in a sense, in context, but he wouldn't feel right to break a promise to someone else - a promise he thought was reasonable - to appease her a few hours earlier than intended. If he'd been better at explaining at the get-go, or tried a more casual tone, it might have been different, but would she then have been just as upset afterwards to learn he'd lied by omission or something? He doesn't know. But this, he can't quite apologize for. Not the way she'd want.]
Pyra... I love you, and I'd never intentionally hide something that would hurt you if I could avoid doing it. But I can't promise you every secret I've been entrusted with by other people when they don't involve you. I don't think it's fair if you feel entitled to that.
[He pauses, and then adds,]
How many of your secrets have I kept hidden from the rest of my family?
[His family, whom he loves and trusts just as much as he loves and trusts her. Because she would have felt unsafe if they were shared, because she'd entrusted those secrets to him, because she'd asked him to.]
I’m not asking you to keep them secret for a battle. [ She lifts her head, looking at him. ] I— because I love you, I wouldn’t want to put you in a position like that. It wouldn’t be fair to you.
[ To have him withhold such information from his family, when his life might have been on the line… to choose secrets over family.
Of course within her mind, she goes back and forth on this. In one corner, it seems as if it was a fairly easy battle. He had protection. Ardyn was there. On the other from his explanation, the threat was very real, and she knows enough from the previous Emet. She can’t help but wonder if his words— ”Those who summon are touched by the will of what they summon forever after”, he had said, in reference to his “wish” and Zodiark. If Noctis’ description gives these words any more context, the battle could have turned south very quickly.
But he’s fine, and the precautions worked. Maybe, to him, the fight wasn’t something could have devolved into chaos. Pyra looks at him again, helpless. She truly wishes to understand, or to be reassured, or to know what she’s doing wrong. ]
I know you chose to fight, and to promise to keep quiet on the details, but… What am I missing, Noct? If— if the context was slightly different, if the stakes were higher and you believed this would have been a harder battle, would you have been more forthwith?
[He can't help feeling a little frustrated by that. Why are the rules different for him? Because of a fight, something he's done on a regular basis for literal years of his life? Is it somehow worse to share news of a fight about to occur but keep the details quiet for a handful of hours, than to hide her supposedly dangerous power and nature from his loved ones for years? He doesn't get it any more than she does.]
If the stakes were higher, I'd have told you the stakes were higher. If Era and I couldn't reach a consensus on what was fair to share with you, I'd have helped in a different way. [He shakes his head.] I can't read your mind, and I don't understand. Will you tell me what it is about this situation that bothers you?
[ Her lips part, then close, and after a moment, she finds her voice. ]
From the way you first described what you were fighting, the precautions made it seem as if it was more dangerous, and... I felt as if it, in this instance, was significant enough to tell me more, even with the secrecy. [ However, he doesn't feel that way, even if the stakes would be higher. She can think of very little stakes that would be higher than playing distraction to the entity warping Emet's soul. That's just something she'll have to adapt to in the future, if something like this happens again. ]
But I didn't ask more questions, and trusted you, that you would come back. And you did, and you're healthy. Still, it... [ One her hand hands slides from his, and it raises to rest over her chest. She doesn't like this. She feels so vulnerable right now. ] hurt. [ Pyra appears to struggle with coming up with qualifying how she feels. ] I felt as if I wasn't trusted, either.
[He focuses on her as long as he can manage, but by the end of it, his gaze shifts away.]
It was never about me not trusting you, Pyra. If I thought I couldn't trust you, I wouldn't have told you anything. I would've just left the house and come back when it was done, and that didn't feel right to me. Why is "I'll tell you later" not okay?
[This feels an awful lot like a "no secrets" rule that he didn't know existed before now, and he's sure that isn't exactly what she means, but the implication that he didn't trust her when he was trying to without breaking his word also hurts.]
[ She watches as his eyes shift away, and she can't help but feel as if she's let him down, somehow. It immediately prompts this: ] And hearing you now, I appreciate that... --That you told me, beforehand. What you felt you could, anyways. [ For what little it was, under a promise to keep secret. But that doesn't answer his other question, Why is 'I'll tell you later' not okay?
It is okay, generally speaking. Yet, his question does make her think. Why had this been the exception? ] For this, all the precautions with the vagueness you gave actually had me worried. Not that there wouldn't be a later-- if I had truly believed that, I would have done a lot more to insist that I help, somehow.
But, somehow, I think not knowing is worse than knowing what you were fully up against. [ Her fingers curl over her crystal. ] I'm not sure if that makes sense to you, but... that's how I felt, being in the dark.
[He's quiet for another long moment, mulling those words over, until at last he withdraws and stands up, beginning to pace back and forth in the grass. He can't sit still anymore.]
I don't know what the answer is, here. I can't say you're wrong to feel that way. But I don't think I was wrong with the compromise. It isn't wrong to keep my promises to other people, or to help a friend out. I won't budge on that. Maybe the execution sucked, I- [He pauses mid-step, glancing sidelong at her at a distance.] Was it because I was nervous? I wanted to play it off, but...
[ As he stands to pace, their hands slip apart. She folds hers together in her lap.
When he glances back at her, she appears just as lost. There doesn't seem to be an easy compromise to this, either. She wants to say that her point isn't about not keeping promises or helping friends, and she doesn't like if that's being misrepresented. Surely he knows that she's all about helping friendship, but her frown disappears when he glances back at her. ]
Were you nervous? You seemed... sad. [ At the time, she had wondered if it was, in part, because he was truly burdened that he couldn't say more, which only had her suspect about this promise to keep things hush. But. Maybe that's not the case. ] I had thought it was because you couldn't say more...
I was... [He trails off, turning away to resume pacing, scuffing a hand through his hair.] Not sad. I wasn't nervous about the fight, either. I told Gladio about it before... tried to be casual, because it wasn't supposed to be a big deal, and I thought he'd wanna be around just in case. We had it all sorted, but it never hurts to have back-up, right? But he didn't take it great.
[His hands shift again, resting on his hips as he kicks at a bundle of loose dirt.]
I was worried about worrying you, which just ended up self-fulfilling, and now it makes me not wanna tell anyone anything, but that's not the answer, either.
[ She makes a soft, thoughtful noise as he explains. ] That's... definitely not the answer.
[ A pause. ]
...In a similar way, if-- you go out for another battle again, and I mean against something grand or god-tier again, not just any other battle, it wouldn't feel natural not to have some worry for you. But I still appreciate you telling me.
[ And she doesn't want him to not tell her. So if he's going to continue making promises to remain vague about potentially god-tier battles, then... there's really only one solution: she has to be okay with that, and accept it. She'd rather be aware of the barest of information than nothing at all.
Pyra stands, allowing her hands to fall to her side. ] And... and-- [ She repeats again, this time to herself, and she takes a few steps to him, but stops from crossing anymore of their yard. ] --I think, that's all that really matters, so...
[ She raises her head. ]
Just tell me what you want to, and what you're comfortable with. I'll manage.
[Something about the phrasing of her answer bothers him, and he hesitates. All that matters, she'll manage…]
...It feels like this made you expect less of me, now, and you're just putting up with it. Am I reading that wrong, or is there really no compromise we can come up with that would help you feel comfortable? Not about worrying- if you're gonna worry, you're gonna worry. No amount of telling you otherwise can stop that. But I don't want to leave this with you thinking it's about a lack of trust.
[It might have been about Era not trusting her, hell it might have been about Era not trusting him. Respecting someone else's wishes shouldn't be a thing that brings trust into question, in his mind, between two separate parties. The idea of her being resigned to his distrust hurts a lot, so he really hopes this is off base.]
[ Pyra looks at him wearily, holding onto one of her arms. She’d rather know anything he’s willing to tell her than nothing at all.
She thinks over their conversation so far, and how she believes this means that he stands by his answers, unchanging. If this will happen again, and she will simply have to adapt.
…But here he’s asking if a compromise is possible, and she wonders if she misunderstood something, or assumed something of his answers to her questions incorrectly. ]
Whatever that compromise is…
I understand now that you don’t think this battle was threatening, but in the future… when there might be one you do think is significant, I hope you feel as if you can talk to me before dangerous fights. [ That’s she not left so in the dark. ] When you want to, that is.
[ And it should be clear that it is a privilege that he’s told her anything at all.
Pyra bites her lip, doubting herself after expressing that much. Was she not supportive enough? Did she actually ask too much? She knows, and has been assured by him, that she shouldn’t sacrifice what she’s feeling. But she had been upset still, and that hurt and expressing it had lead to… this. ]
[He studies her for a long moment, trying to examine if it's enough, if it's a concession, if the resignation persists- but it feels like a genuine plea, and it's one that he can accommodate while still having room for his own accepted limits, be they imposed by others or his own loyalty. Satisfied, or at least mollified on this point, he nods.]
If I thought it was something I couldn't handle, or might put you or other people or the city in danger- of course. I wouldn't be okay with being asked to lie to you about it. This was a really... weird, niche thing. I don't want to make this a habit.
[She'd made it sound like this should have been an exception to the norm. But it already is an exception to the norm- in that he couldn't be as upfront with her as he normally would be, and thought his reasons for doing so were fair. He certainly doesn't want either of them to feel like this every time something's happening that he has to be involved in.]
I can't promise you nothing like this will happen again, either. Some secrets are normal, and that shouldn't be an unreasonable or harmful thing. But if the situation was different, then yeah, I'd handle it differently.
[Hell, even this time something obviously veered off course, but maybe he can reexamine that later when he's not so close to the issue.]
[ Does she want to ask, would he ever actually believe there was something he couldn't handle, or something actually threatening to him? That's not something for today, she thinks, so she brushes the question aside. At the very least, she can take comfort from the words that he doesn't want to make this a habit. She hopes it won't become one... even if he cannot promise her it won't happen again. This, she'll simply have to respect.
And she really, really, doesn't want to hear about everyone's secrets, which she knows are reasonable, but only would like more information in extraneous contexts like these. What she would like and what he'll give, though, are completely different things. This, too, is something she'll have to respect.
If things were different, she thinks, with this time, none of this upset would have happened. She could have celebrated with him when he returned. Congratulated, listened to what happened enthusiastically. And maybe in the future he will go off to some fight in which he can tell her what's happening beforehand, and it'll be better like that. She'll wait for that day. But this time feels soured now, and she's not sure how to correct it, even if she wants to try.
Pyra offers her hand to him. ] Okay. ....And, I'm sorry. I... [ She made things quite unpleasant expressing herself, and a thought occurs to her, that while he asked what he could have different, she didn't ask the same. She inhales. ] ...What should I have done differently? To have supported you or have made this conversation easier?
[He tries to think on that, but in the end can only shake his head, accepting her offered hand.]
I don't know. I think we both ran in circles and crashed into different walls, here.
[It's more typical for one or both of them to blame themselves only, so maybe this is a step up, who knows. He just doesn't feel right about letting her take all the blame, nor accepting it all onto his own shoulders. A lot of would have, could have, should have. The mood may be soured, but it was made that way through a mess of a discussion that they shared.]
[ Her fingers curl over his, and she gives his hand a small tug, to move back inside. ] It's okay. In the end... I'm glad you're safe, and you're here.
[ Because of the negativity, she's not entirely sure that sharing what she feels will be worth it, not when it brings this. But this is one of her first times doing so, and it's given her something to think about, and she's not about to stop trying after her first try. Maybe other times will be easier. The future can only tell.
But for the present... she wants to make amends.
She begins leading him back inside. ] I know we're simmering curry but... How about some cake, first? It's that what reward you should have, after a successful battle?
[He doesn't really feel like cake, or a reward, but he follows her willingly inside, breathing in deep to try and let some of the tension ease from his body language. It doesn't have to be totally okay, but for the moment, they can at least smile and share a dinner. They'll sort the rest out over time, he hopes.]
Nah... I'm still kind of wired, I don't need more sugar. It smells good in here, though.
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no subject
Era's plan to free Emet from an entity that held his soul prisoner for millennia. How she hadn't asked him to help, he had offered. How they'd begun as an innocent spar, a test run under false pretense to catch Emet unawares, since if he knew ahead of time that imprisoning soul would kill Era. How when the time came she'd temporarily wounded herself for a type of soul magic he didn't really understand. How she had been, as she'd said, the target of the transformed Emet's ire, and they were to serve as defense and distraction, which is why he'd promised his safety despite all the secrecy. How it had worked as intended, and everyone was safe, though recovery might take some time. How he had been given permission to tell Pyra but only just before, that it had been a condition of his participation but he had opted to keep it vague to not break Era's confidence or worry Pyra overmuch- something that had obviously failed.
When he's done, he closes it off with another, quiet,]
Sorry.
[He knows this has been upsetting, but he hopes she can understand why he did what he did. It was the best option he could think of when pulled in two directions, but it seemed as if there was no getting out of this without causing some strife. He really didn't expect things to go south, but that's his failing.]
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Please, don’t apologize…. Everything turned out alright in the end. [ She concludes, her thumb brushing over the side of his hand.
Everything went according to plan. Is she making this more difficult than it’s supposed to be? Is what she’s feeling here, this hurt, misplaced? As doubt clouds her further, she looks up at him uncertainly. ]
It doesn’t bother you? Not the… going into battle part. But told not to share the whys with someone close to you?
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Not really… I've had to keep a lot of secrets over the years. I can't even count the number of times I had to give Prompto some vague reason for bailing on him because of state secrets or whatever. Everyone has stuff they can't or don't want to have broadcast out of their control.
[This is hardly the first time that a secret had lay between them- it's just among the first that he's been upfront about keeping, as far as he can recall.]
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Is that how you want things to remain, going forward?
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It's not always my call to make, and sometimes it's necessary, yeah. Do you think it's a bad thing to honour someone else's request to keep things between you and them? Even temporarily?
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Are you asking me that because it's Era, or because you're my girlfriend?
[It could be another reason, and she's welcome to correct him, but those are the two most valid reasons that come to mind.]
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[ …
Damn if that doesn’t sound entitled. Selfish. And… putting herself as someone valued enough not to be left in the dark with something important. But if his upbringing means he’s used to doing so, and will continue to do so, then she’ll simply have to adjust to that. Different expectations lead to disappointment; this, she knows, and her own let her down. It’s a classic tale. Pyra exhales. ]
Sorry, I… I suppose that doesn’t grant an exception, does it.
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Pyra... I love you, and I'd never intentionally hide something that would hurt you if I could avoid doing it. But I can't promise you every secret I've been entrusted with by other people when they don't involve you. I don't think it's fair if you feel entitled to that.
[He pauses, and then adds,]
How many of your secrets have I kept hidden from the rest of my family?
[His family, whom he loves and trusts just as much as he loves and trusts her. Because she would have felt unsafe if they were shared, because she'd entrusted those secrets to him, because she'd asked him to.]
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I’m not asking you to keep them secret for a battle. [ She lifts her head, looking at him. ] I— because I love you, I wouldn’t want to put you in a position like that. It wouldn’t be fair to you.
[ To have him withhold such information from his family, when his life might have been on the line… to choose secrets over family.
Of course within her mind, she goes back and forth on this. In one corner, it seems as if it was a fairly easy battle. He had protection. Ardyn was there. On the other from his explanation, the threat was very real, and she knows enough from the previous Emet. She can’t help but wonder if his words— ”Those who summon are touched by the will of what they summon forever after”, he had said, in reference to his “wish” and Zodiark. If Noctis’ description gives these words any more context, the battle could have turned south very quickly.
But he’s fine, and the precautions worked. Maybe, to him, the fight wasn’t something could have devolved into chaos. Pyra looks at him again, helpless. She truly wishes to understand, or to be reassured, or to know what she’s doing wrong. ]
I know you chose to fight, and to promise to keep quiet on the details, but… What am I missing, Noct? If— if the context was slightly different, if the stakes were higher and you believed this would have been a harder battle, would you have been more forthwith?
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If the stakes were higher, I'd have told you the stakes were higher. If Era and I couldn't reach a consensus on what was fair to share with you, I'd have helped in a different way. [He shakes his head.] I can't read your mind, and I don't understand. Will you tell me what it is about this situation that bothers you?
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From the way you first described what you were fighting, the precautions made it seem as if it was more dangerous, and... I felt as if it, in this instance, was significant enough to tell me more, even with the secrecy. [ However, he doesn't feel that way, even if the stakes would be higher. She can think of very little stakes that would be higher than playing distraction to the entity warping Emet's soul. That's just something she'll have to adapt to in the future, if something like this happens again. ]
But I didn't ask more questions, and trusted you, that you would come back. And you did, and you're healthy. Still, it... [ One her hand hands slides from his, and it raises to rest over her chest. She doesn't like this. She feels so vulnerable right now. ] hurt. [ Pyra appears to struggle with coming up with qualifying how she feels. ] I felt as if I wasn't trusted, either.
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It was never about me not trusting you, Pyra. If I thought I couldn't trust you, I wouldn't have told you anything. I would've just left the house and come back when it was done, and that didn't feel right to me. Why is "I'll tell you later" not okay?
[This feels an awful lot like a "no secrets" rule that he didn't know existed before now, and he's sure that isn't exactly what she means, but the implication that he didn't trust her when he was trying to without breaking his word also hurts.]
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It is okay, generally speaking. Yet, his question does make her think. Why had this been the exception? ] For this, all the precautions with the vagueness you gave actually had me worried. Not that there wouldn't be a later-- if I had truly believed that, I would have done a lot more to insist that I help, somehow.
But, somehow, I think not knowing is worse than knowing what you were fully up against. [ Her fingers curl over her crystal. ] I'm not sure if that makes sense to you, but... that's how I felt, being in the dark.
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I don't know what the answer is, here. I can't say you're wrong to feel that way. But I don't think I was wrong with the compromise. It isn't wrong to keep my promises to other people, or to help a friend out. I won't budge on that. Maybe the execution sucked, I- [He pauses mid-step, glancing sidelong at her at a distance.] Was it because I was nervous? I wanted to play it off, but...
[He couldn't. He tried that already.]
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When he glances back at her, she appears just as lost. There doesn't seem to be an easy compromise to this, either. She wants to say that her point isn't about not keeping promises or helping friends, and she doesn't like if that's being misrepresented. Surely he knows that she's all about helping friendship, but her frown disappears when he glances back at her. ]
Were you nervous? You seemed... sad. [ At the time, she had wondered if it was, in part, because he was truly burdened that he couldn't say more, which only had her suspect about this promise to keep things hush. But. Maybe that's not the case. ] I had thought it was because you couldn't say more...
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[His hands shift again, resting on his hips as he kicks at a bundle of loose dirt.]
I was worried about worrying you, which just ended up self-fulfilling, and now it makes me not wanna tell anyone anything, but that's not the answer, either.
[He doesn't know what the answer is.]
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[ A pause. ]
...In a similar way, if-- you go out for another battle again, and I mean against something grand or god-tier again, not just any other battle, it wouldn't feel natural not to have some worry for you. But I still appreciate you telling me.
[ And she doesn't want him to not tell her. So if he's going to continue making promises to remain vague about potentially god-tier battles, then... there's really only one solution: she has to be okay with that, and accept it. She'd rather be aware of the barest of information than nothing at all.
Pyra stands, allowing her hands to fall to her side. ] And... and-- [ She repeats again, this time to herself, and she takes a few steps to him, but stops from crossing anymore of their yard. ] --I think, that's all that really matters, so...
[ She raises her head. ]
Just tell me what you want to, and what you're comfortable with. I'll manage.
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...It feels like this made you expect less of me, now, and you're just putting up with it. Am I reading that wrong, or is there really no compromise we can come up with that would help you feel comfortable? Not about worrying- if you're gonna worry, you're gonna worry. No amount of telling you otherwise can stop that. But I don't want to leave this with you thinking it's about a lack of trust.
[It might have been about Era not trusting her, hell it might have been about Era not trusting him. Respecting someone else's wishes shouldn't be a thing that brings trust into question, in his mind, between two separate parties. The idea of her being resigned to his distrust hurts a lot, so he really hopes this is off base.]
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She thinks over their conversation so far, and how she believes this means that he stands by his answers, unchanging. If this will happen again, and she will simply have to adapt.
…But here he’s asking if a compromise is possible, and she wonders if she misunderstood something, or assumed something of his answers to her questions incorrectly. ]
Whatever that compromise is…
I understand now that you don’t think this battle was threatening, but in the future… when there might be one you do think is significant, I hope you feel as if you can talk to me before dangerous fights. [ That’s she not left so in the dark. ] When you want to, that is.
[ And it should be clear that it is a privilege that he’s told her anything at all.
Pyra bites her lip, doubting herself after expressing that much. Was she not supportive enough? Did she actually ask too much? She knows, and has been assured by him, that she shouldn’t sacrifice what she’s feeling. But she had been upset still, and that hurt and expressing it had lead to… this. ]
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If I thought it was something I couldn't handle, or might put you or other people or the city in danger- of course. I wouldn't be okay with being asked to lie to you about it. This was a really... weird, niche thing. I don't want to make this a habit.
[She'd made it sound like this should have been an exception to the norm. But it already is an exception to the norm- in that he couldn't be as upfront with her as he normally would be, and thought his reasons for doing so were fair. He certainly doesn't want either of them to feel like this every time something's happening that he has to be involved in.]
I can't promise you nothing like this will happen again, either. Some secrets are normal, and that shouldn't be an unreasonable or harmful thing. But if the situation was different, then yeah, I'd handle it differently.
[Hell, even this time something obviously veered off course, but maybe he can reexamine that later when he's not so close to the issue.]
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And she really, really, doesn't want to hear about everyone's secrets, which she knows are reasonable, but only would like more information in extraneous contexts like these. What she would like and what he'll give, though, are completely different things. This, too, is something she'll have to respect.
If things were different, she thinks, with this time, none of this upset would have happened. She could have celebrated with him when he returned. Congratulated, listened to what happened enthusiastically. And maybe in the future he will go off to some fight in which he can tell her what's happening beforehand, and it'll be better like that. She'll wait for that day. But this time feels soured now, and she's not sure how to correct it, even if she wants to try.
Pyra offers her hand to him. ] Okay. ....And, I'm sorry. I... [ She made things quite unpleasant expressing herself, and a thought occurs to her, that while he asked what he could have different, she didn't ask the same. She inhales. ] ...What should I have done differently? To have supported you or have made this conversation easier?
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I don't know. I think we both ran in circles and crashed into different walls, here.
[It's more typical for one or both of them to blame themselves only, so maybe this is a step up, who knows. He just doesn't feel right about letting her take all the blame, nor accepting it all onto his own shoulders. A lot of would have, could have, should have. The mood may be soured, but it was made that way through a mess of a discussion that they shared.]
I'm sorry for my part in this, too.
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[ Because of the negativity, she's not entirely sure that sharing what she feels will be worth it, not when it brings this. But this is one of her first times doing so, and it's given her something to think about, and she's not about to stop trying after her first try. Maybe other times will be easier. The future can only tell.
But for the present... she wants to make amends.
She begins leading him back inside. ] I know we're simmering curry but... How about some cake, first? It's that what reward you should have, after a successful battle?
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Nah... I'm still kind of wired, I don't need more sugar. It smells good in here, though.
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