[ She hesitates: after coming to the conclusion that perhaps revealing the future isn’t something most can handle, still Noctis inquires for more detail over something he has no control.
Noctis hadn’t appeared hateful in the vision. It’s not a particularly upsetting detail, she thinks— no, assumes. She is not Noctis. For all she knows, telling him could make things worse...
But he has asked, and... at the very least she can respect his choice. So, she will answer. ]
No.... No, not hateful. [ She closes her eyes, recalling the vision, the battle, the magic, the swords... the words spoken. ] You were sorrowful, calm.
[It doesn't make things worse, if that gives her any comfort. It's subtle, since he's lying down, but some of the tension in his body language ebbs away, and after a quiet moment he nods.]
...Okay.
[He won't ask her anything else about it, if he can help it. The finer details are unnecessary, he knows what's to come and what's expected of him. And he knows he's not a monster about it. Even in the end, he can still be himself to that extent. That can be enough for a while.]
How do you feel? You had to see it, too.
[It wasn't her world, or her personal death, but she still had to watch two people die all the same. And he's not sure how close she is with Ardyn, but at least one of them was a friend. Knowing it's a necessary death doesn't make watching it okay.]
[ That he doesn’t tense further but seems to relax further assuages her concern of answering his question. That’s one thing that’s good— if anything about this can be described as good.
How does she feel...?
Their fates will ensure the future. This is what matters, ultimately.
...But in the now, this is not all that matters.
She turns her head, looking at his profile. He’s asking her this, when it’s the both of them that are suffering for seeing their future— and will suffer. It is that anguish in the present for which she worries. How can she not? Each time she speaks with Ardyn, she’s reminded of how much he hurts. It eclipses all else. ]
The both of you... I worry for you. What was show was... awful.
[He's not going to deny it. He'd already acknowledged that knowing and seeing were two different things, and both hurt in different ways. When he spoke with Bahamut his chest hadn't ached with the same phantom pains as he'd carried after he broke free of the vision, he hadn't seen his own heart stopped or his last breath taken. Hadn't seen how much of an ordeal it was going to be, how he wasn't meant to just die but go through more pain, more suffering, for the sake of the world. And he still has to do it, he will, but... the gods have already asked so much of him. Why must there be more?
Those thoughts make him grimace, and stubbornly he shoves it aside. He'd done enough brooding about it today, surely.]
Neither of us had a choice to see it, but you didn't, either. I worry about you too. Not just for the memory- Ardyn must've seen you as a crystal, right?
[She's been so careful with her identity, holding her secrets close to her chest. To have it once more revealed against her will... she hadn't said anything, and that's worrisome as well.]
[ Instantly her expression falls, and she grows quiet.
Indeed, he did. And others. But only one had seemed to realize that the very entity with which they interacted was the very same that could change fate. As for Ardyn and Noctis, it seems the opportunity to seize a power to alter their futures hadn't occurred to them... from her assumption, anyway. Which, she realizes, is a dangerous one to have.
Still, the revelation of her true form compares very little to what either of them are going through. Honestly, it hadn't been on her mind in light of everyone's revelations. ] I had asked him to keep what we are a secret. [ Not that she had explained, exactly, what she is. And he hadn't asked. The secret is purely about the crystal form. ] I am more worried about you.... and the future of your world.
[Of course she is. Of course she always is. He exhales softly, halfway to a sigh. One headache replaced with another...]
My world's future is set. Remember? We both saw the sunrise. There's no point in worrying about it anymore, it's going to be fine.
[That it has to be fine without him, without a king... it's too bad, but it's not the worst fate. If he dies in his thirties it will have gone without a king for a decade already. Better to be without darkness, without daemons. His world's future is safe, and that he plays a part in that is the one good thing he has left of himself to offer to it.
Anyway, that's not what he asked, or what he wants to care about right now.]
Being worried more about us doesn't mean you're not worried about yourself. You know that's okay, right? To say it?
Her head snaps to the side, looking at him. "But what about you?!" she wants to ask, if not outright demand from him. Is he fine, right now in this moment? Is Ardyn? No, neither are.
Her own future will be fine too, and the issue of her crystal form being revealed to Ardyn is-- virtually a non-issue. She had asked him not to tell others. She hopes he honors it. But now Noctis asks after her, more insistent this time... He wants to know.
What does she say to that? She's caught. If she admits to saying that her own concerns aren't as important, that just sounds sad. She avoids such things to not draw attention or concern. But if she admits to her own grievances... she'll be, well, admitting to them. ]
If you're allowed to worry about me, I'm allowed to do the same for you.
[Not that he needs her permission to do so. Their situations are the same, of course he's going to worry. And even if they weren't, whatever her heartache, however subtly she hides it... when she's in pain or upset, he wants to help. He wants her to let him help.]
Is it another secret, are you protecting yourself? Or is it just for my sake?
[If it's the latter, he doesn't need it. He doesn't want to be protected at her expense- that's happened enough in his life, he's been sheltered for so long while others suffered. There's no reason for it anymore.]
Time and time again, he’s proven patient with her, understanding, accepting. There is only so much a man can handle; however... just like him asking for a small detail of the future, he’s asked about her well-being, too. It only takes much for her to accept that he cares beyond her power or what she might reveal.
But that’s the issue.
Eventually, she says this, quietly: ]
Five know that I am not human. [ And while there are some among those here who she believes can suspect she isn't, she's not entirely sure they know she is only the core crystal. ]
In my world... I was— am fought over for the power I could grant.
[ ....It might not happen here. At least, not among those who know. Noctis himself is lying so close to her again, and he hasn't been tempted as far as she is aware. In the end, this is only one worry. But it will build. ]
[He doesn't want to press too much or too hard on what she's afraid to share, since it worries her and it's hard enough to get her to open up to this extent, but sometimes even a little bit of clarity can go a long way. She's shared some of her power with him before, and he might not be the only one, but she'd carefully hidden her fire and whatever her crystal is capable of, which meant they were hints to her true nature.
Being able to share power, or cast fire- they're admirable, but not any more or less remarkable than many of the other abilities that those residing here possess. The ability to see the future, though... he can see why that would be fought over, by many people. If his actions in the future made the world worse, he'd want the power to change it, surely. He needs only look at the Nox Fleuret family, and how much sway they held over the people despite Tenebrae being completely annexed by Niflheim, to know that. Prophecy and healing was fiercely sought after by anyone in their world, and for good reason.]
[ She shakes her head. That she could divine the future had been a well-guarded secret, only known to herself, Addam, and two others. It was only that: power. Raw power that could come with holding a relic supposedly gifted to the Architect.
How does she convey this? ]
...Just power. [ Status, the want to change the world, or to protect it comes second to that. ] None hurt me. [ She closes her eyes, hesitant. He needs to know.
So with a heaviness, she finally admits: ] But we hurt them, those unworthy who sought to claim us.
[ —Even members of Addam’s own family, until she had finally been passed to him. Not that at the time she can accurately say they were themselves. They hadn’t been human in any sense of the word. Everything had been— abrupt, automatic: others tried, and they were violently rejected.
She hadn't feared hurting others then. She hadn't felt anything at all. Now, she does. ]
[Noctis pauses to consider that, both words and tone. His gaze shifts away, briefly, falling to his stomach where his fingers are laced together, with the ring glittering innocently on one hand.]
I can understand that. Any power's only as good or bad as whoever's using it, right? In the wrong hands, terrible things can happen. It's better to be careful than not.
[The one judging who is or isn't worthy... they can be wrong, it's true. There have been some kings of Lucis who perhaps ought not have been worthy, who were deemed so purely by the blood in their veins. And there have been citizens of Lucis who could have been worthy but were not chosen, or at least were made to pay a high price.
He thinks of Ravus, of the injury he'd received trying to steal the ring. Noctis only knew bits and pieces from Luna, but he'd lost an arm in his hunt for power. Others have burned alive. And even he himself wasn't left unscathed. And the ring's power is... terrifying. He's glad the kings that dwell within show at least some discernment in who gets to use it.
Pyra's had to be the one to pass such judgment - along with the mysterious Mythra - and it's hard to imagine her in the same cold, calculating position as the kings of yore, but he can also see her doing what's necessary to protect the future. If that meant hurting the wrong person to keep that power away from them, then so be it.]
[ If nothing else, talking this out has made a new doubt arise, that, perhaps, some of her fears here are not as founded as they are in her world. However, another doubt manifests to counters this one: that she is merely assuming the former. Conflicted, she finds some groudedness alongside Noctis.
She does not like seeing mortals vying for her power. But she can also understand it-- perhaps, even sympathize with it-- all the way back to the man who had first stolen both her and her brother from the Architect. He wanted answers. He demanded them. Perhaps at one point, he had even wanted better. Why create a world like this, one so wrought with war and strife, one in which so many suffer, one in which its creator is silent and does nothing? And so he had stolen from the Architect himself.
Power means little without control. Power is also a conundrum: does it corrupt or does it reveal? Noctis has immense power. It hasn't tainted his heart.
Her voice drops. ]
You... understand. [ Here she is, confessing that she's hurt others for trying. He may not condone it, but... he seems to understand. ]
When I was a kid, I asked why the Crystal only belonged to Lucis, if it was meant to help everyone. It and the ring both offer so much power, but it's given only to a few of us, the family that the gods picked to protect the world. It didn't seem fair to me. But I was told that we're not using it, we're guarding it. For thousands of years we've kept it safe, gathered power over time until it was ready.
[And until he was ready. And whether or not he believes himself "worthy", it chose him, so that's that.]
When my family pulled the wall back to cover only Insomnia... when Dad agreed to the treaty that abandoned all those lands to the Nifs... or when he sent me out on a ruse just to protect me. A lot of people got hurt, or were killed. Plenty lost their homes, and they resented us for good reason.
[He exhales a soft breath, and looks at her again.]
I didn't understand for a long time. But that much power... it needs to be protected, or even more people could get hurt, or the world itself could die. I don't have to like it to know that this is better. So yeah... I get it.
[People can hate them for it- that's fine. At least they're still alive.]
[ Power lends one an air of capability, Addam had said. For her, she's always thought that power does not corrupt, but rather reveals. With Addam, with Noctis. Both had their hearts unaffiliated by power. But what good is it, if it cannot protect those they care about, the world?
After all of that, he doesn't say the power ought to be destroyed, the very same one bestowed onto his family as a blessing, but behaves more like a curse for all the suffering it's brought. Instead, he says it should be protected. He can look past the hardships and the weight of being chosen in light of the world. Not only that, but he can express himself still. He can admit that it doesn't feel fair. Yet in delivering this, he has testified to that wisdom she has seen in him before. In this moment, her eyes meet his when he looks back to her. She lowers her head. For a while, she doesn't say anything. It guilts her, of course. "This is better"-- it's no different than him saying that his death is better.
It would be easy to turn this to him, after him saying all that. She's done it so many times before, when he's spoken of himself. Others, too. They tell their stories, and like clockwork she inquires further.
[He's surprised by her comment, for the subject - and the question - that she chose; he'd debated whether or not to go with the story, and had done it only because he thought it might help to demonstrate why he understands. So often turning the subject away from her was an invitation she would jump on, and he'd been half-ready to figure out a way to twist things back on her. That it wasn't necessary catches him off guard, but he's relieved by it, too, that she's able to open up rather than guard herself like usual. He hopes that he can avoid screwing this up, lest she thinks her trust in him to be misplaced.
Her question, at least, requires no long thought on his part.]
I will. [His tone is calm and resolute, with no doubt or hesitation. Of course he will.] But not because you're a crystal, or because of your power. I'd do it even if you were a regular human.
[With most people, he'd end it there, would leave it at that because those who know him should know his meaning, wouldn't require him to spell it out for them. They'd understand that his care isn't conditional on what they can offer him in return. Most of the time his friends had already given much, much more to him already, and it's long past the point of what they may or may not deserve. Or... to be more on point, whether or not they're worthy of his power being used to defend them.
He almost doesn't continue, pauses a moment for the internal debate. With Pyra... maybe he needs to say it. Maybe she needs to hear it. She probably doesn't hear it enough. And so, finally:]
[ It's not her he should be protecting, but the world. Abandon such thoughts, she wishes to caution him. The future is far more important.... But that's not what he's saying here, either. He already knows the world is important. He's offering this because she's scared here.
That he offers it means more than she could ever try to convey in words. 'It's the thought that counts', essentially, because his words weigh so much-- not as a burden that cripples her, but as a treasure she wishes to protect.
It's because of this thought that she's able to smile a little more warmly again at him. ] Before coming here. The world was protected. I was encased and... sunk below the Cloud-Sea.
Here, I... [ She shakes her head, uncertain. On the one hand, she is awake. She likes to believe she has done some good here, contributing to a common cause of saving this world-- something she wouldn't be able to do in her own. On the other, she shouldn't be awake (even if she knows in the future she will not be anyway). ]
I feel safe with you. [ Without being entombed and sealed and tossed away? She would have once thought that impossible. A part of her is reluctant still, worried that this feeling of security is false. Perhaps it is. But it's nice to have, all the same. ]
[Encased, and sunk… that doesn't sound safe so much as buried and forgotten, like a piece of treasure instead of a person. But even if it doesn't sound safe in his mind, it isn't up to him what makes her feel safe. If being hidden away doesn't hurt her, if she feels better like that rather than exposed and at risk of being used, that isn't his call to make. Even so, it… doesn't sound much at all like living.
He's glad if he can give her even a fraction of that feeling of safety just by being here. There's a moment of uncertain quiet, and then he shifts his hand impulsively to touch her hand- not to take it, as she'd pulled away, but to create a point of contact, should it happen to reassure her the way she so often reassures him.]
If I do anything to change that, will you tell me? I won't mean to, but...
[He's young and impulsive and reckless and occasionally very stupid, and his usual handlers aren't always around to rein him in and remind him of how he ought to behave. He'd rather ask this honesty of her and be corrected than damage whatever reassurance that his presence offers to her now.]
[ Even now, he thinks of her. In truth, she worries for his safety more than she does her own...
Pyra inches closer to him. That she's lying beside him should be proof enough, shouldn't it? --No, she knows. They've done this before. But here and now, it feels different, somehow. More meaningful.
Or perhaps that's just her. She knows how she feels, after all. The great ache of guilt and fear with her chest serves as a surrogate for a human heart, but it also beats with hope, affection. And if the future of either of their worlds contains those with such endearing traits that he shows, she believes that... the future will be just fine. ] You have my word.
...And you, too, mm? You'll tell me, if... If I ever hurt you.
[He's not always the best at sharing how feels, especially when he's hurt and it might hurt someone else to know about it, but he can hardly expect openness from her and not give the same in return. At the very least, he can make the attempt to be more open when he's struggling, though it's rare that such feelings are sourced from her. She's actually helped him feel good these days. Much, much better than he would otherwise feel. That in itself isn't unusual, but even so, it feels as if something has changed.]
I guess... I just want both of us to feel safe. Here, at least. [In this little house they share.] It's been a while.
[ She wants to bring her hand up to his cheek. She wants to run her fingers through his hair. She wants to tell him everything will be okay.
They're safer here than they are in their respective worlds, perhaps, although Pyra is not entirely convinced that this world is safe with her in it either. She grapples with how to describe this feeling, of feeling safe yet anxious at the same time-- or, perhaps, cautious to feel safe in the face of that anxiousness. She's sure he can understand. ] It's... tense. As if, we bring these feelings from our own world back with us, to this one. [ Even if the danger is not present, in Noctis' case. ]
Perhaps in the meantime-- it could be a home. A place where one is safe, comfortable, loved.
[Safe, comfortable, loved. It sounds wonderful, a distant dream. How long had it been, before this place, that he was able to feel so at ease? Months, most likely, at least until his arrival here. And even in this world there are times when he feels ghosts of those same fears echoed in his heart, cold memories of the dark driven to the surface, unwanted anxieties reminding him of who he is and where he's meant to be. He dreads those moments, a cold splash of reality to wrench him away from the joyous and carefree life he's craving. It makes sense that these feelings would linger- being away from home would not stop them from experiencing whatever they carry with them from one world to another.
And yet, she can smile at him. And yet he can feel a warmth rushing through him at the sight of her smile directed towards him. And yet, even with everything he feels and knows and has seen... he can smile back at her, tentative as ever, but grateful, directing that same warmth towards her in turn. Home is here. With her, with Prompto, with family.
Strange, but… he doesn't dislike it, not a bit.]
Home sweet home, huh? That sounds pretty good to me.
[ If nothing else, she hopes that this conversation will reassure him that he's free to speak with her if he needs to, since he's still working through his intended future... ]
And you've made it such a lovely home, too. [ She reflects, softly. Safe with him, comfortable in this place-- she has two criteria checked off. As for love, she has that from him in the form of friendship, family. She hopes he feels the same way, safe in the sense as either of them can be, comfortable here. But if he were to leave... ]
I think, Noctis... that you're the one who makes this a home. [ Like a keystone to a bridge, the central part where everyone comes around to. Except, others come to him, she believes, not for his function, but for his personality, who he is. If that is too heavy, though, she sighs out through her nose in a short laugh, ] Even if it can be a little messy.
[It feels strange to hear someone else say that; he's had a handful of different homes over the years, from the Citadel to his private apartment to the Regalia itself on the road, and what made it home was never his own presence. He was just what existed there, the one constant presence he could rely on as others floated around him living their own lives or drifted away to leave him alone. They were home because others were there, or because it was his own space, or because it was all he had left of his true home.
With that logic, it stands to reason why someone else would feel similarly towards him. Still… unusual. Has he ever made somewhere a home for someone else before? He could ask Prompto, but that sort of sap isn't usually their thing. And he's not sure if his father's had enough time with him to feel that way yet, considering how much he may have avoided the child who reminded him of his lost wife in the early years. Ignis… Ignis is complicated.
His shoulders drop with a bit more eased tension, accepting her subject shift. This sort of thing is probably better left without overthinking it.]
You want to leave a mess for us to clean, too? I think you've earned a turn.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Noctis hadn’t appeared hateful in the vision. It’s not a particularly upsetting detail, she thinks— no, assumes. She is not Noctis. For all she knows, telling him could make things worse...
But he has asked, and... at the very least she can respect his choice. So, she will answer. ]
No.... No, not hateful. [ She closes her eyes, recalling the vision, the battle, the magic, the swords... the words spoken. ] You were sorrowful, calm.
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...Okay.
[He won't ask her anything else about it, if he can help it. The finer details are unnecessary, he knows what's to come and what's expected of him. And he knows he's not a monster about it. Even in the end, he can still be himself to that extent. That can be enough for a while.]
How do you feel? You had to see it, too.
[It wasn't her world, or her personal death, but she still had to watch two people die all the same. And he's not sure how close she is with Ardyn, but at least one of them was a friend. Knowing it's a necessary death doesn't make watching it okay.]
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How does she feel...?
Their fates will ensure the future. This is what matters, ultimately.
...But in the now, this is not all that matters.
She turns her head, looking at his profile. He’s asking her this, when it’s the both of them that are suffering for seeing their future— and will suffer. It is that anguish in the present for which she worries. How can she not? Each time she speaks with Ardyn, she’s reminded of how much he hurts. It eclipses all else. ]
The both of you... I worry for you. What was show was... awful.
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[He's not going to deny it. He'd already acknowledged that knowing and seeing were two different things, and both hurt in different ways. When he spoke with Bahamut his chest hadn't ached with the same phantom pains as he'd carried after he broke free of the vision, he hadn't seen his own heart stopped or his last breath taken. Hadn't seen how much of an ordeal it was going to be, how he wasn't meant to just die but go through more pain, more suffering, for the sake of the world. And he still has to do it, he will, but... the gods have already asked so much of him. Why must there be more?
Those thoughts make him grimace, and stubbornly he shoves it aside. He'd done enough brooding about it today, surely.]
Neither of us had a choice to see it, but you didn't, either. I worry about you too. Not just for the memory- Ardyn must've seen you as a crystal, right?
[She's been so careful with her identity, holding her secrets close to her chest. To have it once more revealed against her will... she hadn't said anything, and that's worrisome as well.]
what was shown* even
Indeed, he did. And others. But only one had seemed to realize that the very entity with which they interacted was the very same that could change fate. As for Ardyn and Noctis, it seems the opportunity to seize a power to alter their futures hadn't occurred to them... from her assumption, anyway. Which, she realizes, is a dangerous one to have.
Still, the revelation of her true form compares very little to what either of them are going through. Honestly, it hadn't been on her mind in light of everyone's revelations. ] I had asked him to keep what we are a secret. [ Not that she had explained, exactly, what she is. And he hadn't asked. The secret is purely about the crystal form. ] I am more worried about you.... and the future of your world.
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My world's future is set. Remember? We both saw the sunrise. There's no point in worrying about it anymore, it's going to be fine.
[That it has to be fine without him, without a king... it's too bad, but it's not the worst fate. If he dies in his thirties it will have gone without a king for a decade already. Better to be without darkness, without daemons. His world's future is safe, and that he plays a part in that is the one good thing he has left of himself to offer to it.
Anyway, that's not what he asked, or what he wants to care about right now.]
Being worried more about us doesn't mean you're not worried about yourself. You know that's okay, right? To say it?
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Her head snaps to the side, looking at him. "But what about you?!" she wants to ask, if not outright demand from him. Is he fine, right now in this moment? Is Ardyn? No, neither are.
Her own future will be fine too, and the issue of her crystal form being revealed to Ardyn is-- virtually a non-issue. She had asked him not to tell others. She hopes he honors it. But now Noctis asks after her, more insistent this time... He wants to know.
What does she say to that? She's caught. If she admits to saying that her own concerns aren't as important, that just sounds sad. She avoids such things to not draw attention or concern. But if she admits to her own grievances... she'll be, well, admitting to them. ]
Are... you worried? About me?
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[Not that he needs her permission to do so. Their situations are the same, of course he's going to worry. And even if they weren't, whatever her heartache, however subtly she hides it... when she's in pain or upset, he wants to help. He wants her to let him help.]
Is it another secret, are you protecting yourself? Or is it just for my sake?
[If it's the latter, he doesn't need it. He doesn't want to be protected at her expense- that's happened enough in his life, he's been sheltered for so long while others suffered. There's no reason for it anymore.]
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Time and time again, he’s proven patient with her, understanding, accepting. There is only so much a man can handle; however... just like him asking for a small detail of the future, he’s asked about her well-being, too. It only takes much for her to accept that he cares beyond her power or what she might reveal.
But that’s the issue.
Eventually, she says this, quietly: ]
Five know that I am not human. [ And while there are some among those here who she believes can suspect she isn't, she's not entirely sure they know she is only the core crystal. ]
In my world... I was— am fought over for the power I could grant.
[ ....It might not happen here. At least, not among those who know. Noctis himself is lying so close to her again, and he hasn't been tempted as far as she is aware. In the end, this is only one worry. But it will build. ]
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[He doesn't want to press too much or too hard on what she's afraid to share, since it worries her and it's hard enough to get her to open up to this extent, but sometimes even a little bit of clarity can go a long way. She's shared some of her power with him before, and he might not be the only one, but she'd carefully hidden her fire and whatever her crystal is capable of, which meant they were hints to her true nature.
Being able to share power, or cast fire- they're admirable, but not any more or less remarkable than many of the other abilities that those residing here possess. The ability to see the future, though... he can see why that would be fought over, by many people. If his actions in the future made the world worse, he'd want the power to change it, surely. He needs only look at the Nox Fleuret family, and how much sway they held over the people despite Tenebrae being completely annexed by Niflheim, to know that. Prophecy and healing was fiercely sought after by anyone in their world, and for good reason.]
Did... someone hurt you for it?
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How does she convey this? ]
...Just power. [ Status, the want to change the world, or to protect it comes second to that. ] None hurt me. [ She closes her eyes, hesitant. He needs to know.
So with a heaviness, she finally admits: ] But we hurt them, those unworthy who sought to claim us.
[ —Even members of Addam’s own family, until she had finally been passed to him. Not that at the time she can accurately say they were themselves. They hadn’t been human in any sense of the word. Everything had been— abrupt, automatic: others tried, and they were violently rejected.
She hadn't feared hurting others then. She hadn't felt anything at all. Now, she does. ]
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I can understand that. Any power's only as good or bad as whoever's using it, right? In the wrong hands, terrible things can happen. It's better to be careful than not.
[The one judging who is or isn't worthy... they can be wrong, it's true. There have been some kings of Lucis who perhaps ought not have been worthy, who were deemed so purely by the blood in their veins. And there have been citizens of Lucis who could have been worthy but were not chosen, or at least were made to pay a high price.
He thinks of Ravus, of the injury he'd received trying to steal the ring. Noctis only knew bits and pieces from Luna, but he'd lost an arm in his hunt for power. Others have burned alive. And even he himself wasn't left unscathed. And the ring's power is... terrifying. He's glad the kings that dwell within show at least some discernment in who gets to use it.
Pyra's had to be the one to pass such judgment - along with the mysterious Mythra - and it's hard to imagine her in the same cold, calculating position as the kings of yore, but he can also see her doing what's necessary to protect the future. If that meant hurting the wrong person to keep that power away from them, then so be it.]
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She does not like seeing mortals vying for her power. But she can also understand it-- perhaps, even sympathize with it-- all the way back to the man who had first stolen both her and her brother from the Architect. He wanted answers. He demanded them. Perhaps at one point, he had even wanted better. Why create a world like this, one so wrought with war and strife, one in which so many suffer, one in which its creator is silent and does nothing? And so he had stolen from the Architect himself.
Power means little without control. Power is also a conundrum: does it corrupt or does it reveal? Noctis has immense power. It hasn't tainted his heart.
Her voice drops. ]
You... understand. [ Here she is, confessing that she's hurt others for trying. He may not condone it, but... he seems to understand. ]
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When I was a kid, I asked why the Crystal only belonged to Lucis, if it was meant to help everyone. It and the ring both offer so much power, but it's given only to a few of us, the family that the gods picked to protect the world. It didn't seem fair to me. But I was told that we're not using it, we're guarding it. For thousands of years we've kept it safe, gathered power over time until it was ready.
[And until he was ready. And whether or not he believes himself "worthy", it chose him, so that's that.]
When my family pulled the wall back to cover only Insomnia... when Dad agreed to the treaty that abandoned all those lands to the Nifs... or when he sent me out on a ruse just to protect me. A lot of people got hurt, or were killed. Plenty lost their homes, and they resented us for good reason.
[He exhales a soft breath, and looks at her again.]
I didn't understand for a long time. But that much power... it needs to be protected, or even more people could get hurt, or the world itself could die. I don't have to like it to know that this is better. So yeah... I get it.
[People can hate them for it- that's fine. At least they're still alive.]
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After all of that, he doesn't say the power ought to be destroyed, the very same one bestowed onto his family as a blessing, but behaves more like a curse for all the suffering it's brought. Instead, he says it should be protected. He can look past the hardships and the weight of being chosen in light of the world. Not only that, but he can express himself still. He can admit that it doesn't feel fair. Yet in delivering this, he has testified to that wisdom she has seen in him before. In this moment, her eyes meet his when he looks back to her. She lowers her head. For a while, she doesn't say anything. It guilts her, of course. "This is better"-- it's no different than him saying that his death is better.
It would be easy to turn this to him, after him saying all that. She's done it so many times before, when he's spoken of himself. Others, too. They tell their stories, and like clockwork she inquires further.
...But she doesn't do that here. ]
Are you saying... you will protect me?
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Her question, at least, requires no long thought on his part.]
I will. [His tone is calm and resolute, with no doubt or hesitation. Of course he will.] But not because you're a crystal, or because of your power. I'd do it even if you were a regular human.
[With most people, he'd end it there, would leave it at that because those who know him should know his meaning, wouldn't require him to spell it out for them. They'd understand that his care isn't conditional on what they can offer him in return. Most of the time his friends had already given much, much more to him already, and it's long past the point of what they may or may not deserve. Or... to be more on point, whether or not they're worthy of his power being used to defend them.
He almost doesn't continue, pauses a moment for the internal debate. With Pyra... maybe he needs to say it. Maybe she needs to hear it. She probably doesn't hear it enough. And so, finally:]
I'll protect you because you're my friend.
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That he offers it means more than she could ever try to convey in words. 'It's the thought that counts', essentially, because his words weigh so much-- not as a burden that cripples her, but as a treasure she wishes to protect.
It's because of this thought that she's able to smile a little more warmly again at him. ] Before coming here. The world was protected. I was encased and... sunk below the Cloud-Sea.
Here, I... [ She shakes her head, uncertain. On the one hand, she is awake. She likes to believe she has done some good here, contributing to a common cause of saving this world-- something she wouldn't be able to do in her own. On the other, she shouldn't be awake (even if she knows in the future she will not be anyway). ]
I feel safe with you. [ Without being entombed and sealed and tossed away? She would have once thought that impossible. A part of her is reluctant still, worried that this feeling of security is false. Perhaps it is. But it's nice to have, all the same. ]
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He's glad if he can give her even a fraction of that feeling of safety just by being here. There's a moment of uncertain quiet, and then he shifts his hand impulsively to touch her hand- not to take it, as she'd pulled away, but to create a point of contact, should it happen to reassure her the way she so often reassures him.]
If I do anything to change that, will you tell me? I won't mean to, but...
[He's young and impulsive and reckless and occasionally very stupid, and his usual handlers aren't always around to rein him in and remind him of how he ought to behave. He'd rather ask this honesty of her and be corrected than damage whatever reassurance that his presence offers to her now.]
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Pyra inches closer to him. That she's lying beside him should be proof enough, shouldn't it? --No, she knows. They've done this before. But here and now, it feels different, somehow. More meaningful.
Or perhaps that's just her. She knows how she feels, after all. The great ache of guilt and fear with her chest serves as a surrogate for a human heart, but it also beats with hope, affection. And if the future of either of their worlds contains those with such endearing traits that he shows, she believes that... the future will be just fine. ] You have my word.
...And you, too, mm? You'll tell me, if... If I ever hurt you.
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[He's not always the best at sharing how feels, especially when he's hurt and it might hurt someone else to know about it, but he can hardly expect openness from her and not give the same in return. At the very least, he can make the attempt to be more open when he's struggling, though it's rare that such feelings are sourced from her. She's actually helped him feel good these days. Much, much better than he would otherwise feel. That in itself isn't unusual, but even so, it feels as if something has changed.]
I guess... I just want both of us to feel safe. Here, at least. [In this little house they share.] It's been a while.
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They're safer here than they are in their respective worlds, perhaps, although Pyra is not entirely convinced that this world is safe with her in it either. She grapples with how to describe this feeling, of feeling safe yet anxious at the same time-- or, perhaps, cautious to feel safe in the face of that anxiousness. She's sure he can understand. ] It's... tense. As if, we bring these feelings from our own world back with us, to this one. [ Even if the danger is not present, in Noctis' case. ]
Perhaps in the meantime-- it could be a home. A place where one is safe, comfortable, loved.
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And yet, she can smile at him. And yet he can feel a warmth rushing through him at the sight of her smile directed towards him. And yet, even with everything he feels and knows and has seen... he can smile back at her, tentative as ever, but grateful, directing that same warmth towards her in turn. Home is here. With her, with Prompto, with family.
Strange, but… he doesn't dislike it, not a bit.]
Home sweet home, huh? That sounds pretty good to me.
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And you've made it such a lovely home, too. [ She reflects, softly. Safe with him, comfortable in this place-- she has two criteria checked off. As for love, she has that from him in the form of friendship, family. She hopes he feels the same way, safe in the sense as either of them can be, comfortable here. But if he were to leave... ]
I think, Noctis... that you're the one who makes this a home. [ Like a keystone to a bridge, the central part where everyone comes around to. Except, others come to him, she believes, not for his function, but for his personality, who he is. If that is too heavy, though, she sighs out through her nose in a short laugh, ] Even if it can be a little messy.
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With that logic, it stands to reason why someone else would feel similarly towards him. Still… unusual. Has he ever made somewhere a home for someone else before? He could ask Prompto, but that sort of sap isn't usually their thing. And he's not sure if his father's had enough time with him to feel that way yet, considering how much he may have avoided the child who reminded him of his lost wife in the early years. Ignis… Ignis is complicated.
His shoulders drop with a bit more eased tension, accepting her subject shift. This sort of thing is probably better left without overthinking it.]
You want to leave a mess for us to clean, too? I think you've earned a turn.
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Since he's taken her option for a subject change, she continues with it. ]
Oh... Is doing my laundry an option?
[ Now that she has actual clothes... ]
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