[At that... his expression shifts, an uncomfortably sad kind of smile this time, and fiddles with his arm bracer as he is wont to do when he doesn't know what to say.]
Sure, once. It's a dangerous world.
[An obviously evasive answer, but the sort she might find familiar, considering how often she dodges his questions. She doesn't need more of his sad stories.
Instead he readjusts the tablet in his lap, searching for that drawing program she'd used. He can't do much without a proper pen, but he can at least get some rough sketch ideas down.]
Back home the main characters are all guys. We should add some girls to this one, at least half and half. I want you and Luna to play with us, too.
A dragon-slaying adventure to save a prince in dire need-- even with just you or Luna.... [ Her eyes shine brightly. ] There's no way the team would lose.
Yeah, for sure. [Like he'd ever disagree with praise about her. He knows his own skills but she's just- amazing, okay.] She uses a trident, so... maybe a dragoon?
[He starts roughing out a little drawing of a woman in sharp-looking armor carrying a big spear, in a cartoonish style.]
[ She looks over at his tablet. Hey, they drawing isn't half-bad. This, she did not know about him. And the way he smiles when speaking of Luna is... Hm.
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. ]
Not just any dragoon. A valiant one. Peerless. And... beautiful, right?
I think that's only fair. Two of the heroes are the handsome heroic types.
[Though his capacity for drawing something beautiful is questionable; he's no fine artist. Years of communicating with Luna purely through a journal, and growing up in the Citadel with no friends his own age besides Ignis left him time alone to find ways of entertaining himself more often than not, and ample opportunity to practice. Talented, no, and his hand is too unsteady to call it art. But it's a few marks above a stick figure at least.
He tries to follow her suggestion, giving the character narrowed eyes and a cool, confident smile, with long flowing hair.]
She look at his depiction, noting the sure smile the character has. If he had not mentioned Luna, she would not have known it was her; but with her name in mind, that smile is undeniably hers. It has a quiet resolve, but a loud bravery all the same.
And.
Huh. He likes long hair, does he? She's going to just pull this guess out of left field, but-- ]
[Probably mostly for Luna. He thinks a moment. He's never seen her in battle, but he's seen her working, and any time she's had to travel or attend to her Oracle duties, she's kept her hair up and out of the way. It's very practical, very her.]
I think she'd tie it back. So she can focus on what's going on.
Pyra leans back. As she thought, this would be better to let him discuss this with someone of his own world, rather than a stranger. What is he doing here; he's taking time from what he could have with Luna. ] I've... spoken with her only two times. An... Oracle, right?
[What's this, it's loving Luna hour? He's so down.]
Yeah, that's kind of all it takes with her. I don't think I've ever met anyone as strong as she is.
[She's so! Resilient! And devoted! Carrying his burden all across Lucis, waking the gods, keeping him safe by remaining at a distance... and all alone, too.]
[ Awww, look at him. He seems so happy, talking about her. And excited too; discussing her seems to come easily to him, and indeed it brings a smile to his face.
That is important. She will continue this topic. ] Ehh, stronger than you, as well? [ She chuckles softly, flipping to a new page in her tablet. ]
[Is she stronger than his lame-ass self, who's only good for fighting? Without question.]
It's just, y'know... there's different ways to be strong, right? She did so much for me, for all of us. She woke the gods, she carried my- my burden, [His hand subconsciously lifts to press against his chest, where the ring hangs under his shirt, before he realizes and pulls away,] and she did it all by herself. I'd never have gotten anywhere if I'd had to go alone.
[And it isn't automatically weak to travel with friends, or to depend on other people. He knows that. But to be able to do what needs to be done without a support system to push him forward? That requires real strength, and it's the kind that he lacks. After everything that happened, he'd surely have fallen apart without them.]
[ Waking the gods.... Yes, she mentioned that to Pyra before, and about how much of a toll it takes on her. She had also mentioned she served her King-- who, after Pyra had asked, she had named as Noctis. His "burden", however?
Her eyes follow the movement of his hand to his chest, then it's back to meeting his gaze. ] ....Someone mentioned to me, that little can be achieved alone, that there will always be someone.
I can't speak for her, but... I imagine she might have been thinking of you as a source of strength. [ So in that way, she wasn't truly alone?? ]
[It sounds like something she'd say, even if he doesn't always understand it. That isn't new, though- she's always believed in him, even when he himself couldn't. Her conviction made him try harder, made him push himself to be better. It's been that way ever since they were children, when he'd made that first promise to her.]
If that's true then it's definitely mutual. She thinks way too highly of me, but... I want to be the person she thinks I am, eventually.
[And if she believes in his potential as king, or Chosen, or whatever, he'll keep trying until that belief becomes reality. Somehow.]
[ "If that's true"-- there is a surefire way for him to know if it's true or not, and that is to leave Pyra and go to her, right here, right now.
Still, the rest of what he says gives her pause. ] W-wait.
[ A beat. She's going to see if she can parse his thoughts. If Luna believes in him-- and Pyra is surely arguing that she does, as surely as Pyra believes in Noctis himself, for she's seen what he can do, she's seen the light in his heart. ] That doesn't sound right.
Isn't the person she thinks you are-- the person who has given her strength while apart from you-- how you are right now?
[ None of this "thinking too highly of me" business, no siree!! ] You're enough, Noct.
[He purses his lips at that, glancing downwards, his tone awkward and a little quieter.]
...Sure.
[Much easier to say than to believe; he may disagree (and what does she know? all she has to go on is what he's told her, and half the time he's full of shit) but he doesn't want to start an argument about that since he figures she won't take no for an answer. It is fundamentally untrue, though.
Someone good enough would have saved her, and he doesn't. He needs to be better.]
[ .....This isn't the reaction she had hoped for. He seems subdued, quieter. Encouraging words are supposed to help. What went wrong here? A saddened look upon him is exactly what she had been trying to avoid!
Before, he would become more flustered with any compliments. Is it because of the topic itself, with Luna? But he had seemed so happy discussing her. Again, she wonders: what went wrong? ]
No, no, you didn't... it isn't you. Just- there's a lot of pressure... some stuff happens, and...
[He scrambles for the words to help her understand without fully explaining it; he won't say it, not when Luna herself doesn't know. The weight of it on his own shoulders is already too much.]
Cor... told me something. When I go back I've got a job to do, a really important one, and... I fail. I let her down, and people get hurt. [His lips purse tightly. People die.] I'm not enough, like this. I have to do better.
[ So, it seems he's already learned a part of his future at least regarding this. It doesn't sound happy, and it's no wonder why his smile had faded so quickly.
...She knows he must do better. She had thought it multiple times before-- he is not there yet. That hesitation persists. She had mentioned to him before: What you are thinking, you are correct: With more power you can... protect what you wish to protect. Then she had asked him if the sunrise he saw that day with his comrades, if it is part of the future he wishes to safeguard. His response:
"Yeah, of course."
But after their last conversation, she wonders if it would do well to remind him of that.
(Briefly, her gaze drops to the middle of his chest; she recalls during one of the warps in which he had taken her along, how her hand had felt something there--)
While she is afraid of her words, while her curiosity burns to know more of whatever has happened, she can only offer this: ]
....You wish to become stronger.
I can help you again, if that is what you wish.
[ IF HE'S SERIOUS. She will do what she can to train with him. ]
[His thoughts shift unwillingly to Somnus, to one of their recent conversations. "As you are now, you do not have the means." It's true, but not entirely; the means are a chain around his neck, both literal and metaphorical, a source of power that hums and whispers in his ear when he holds it and lets the voices reach him. The answer is there, but as Somnus also said, he isn't ready.
Pyra can help him here, just as she had already, and he's grateful for her offer. She'd reached her hand out to his and shared her power, because his alone isn't enough. It never has been, and it never will be, that much has become clear. When he goes back he'll be on his own.]
...Got any advice on how to be brave?
[The others have noticed, surely. Somnus knows. His father might. And Luna, of course. They know he carries it and doesn't wear it on his finger, doesn't claim his birthright, doesn't step up as a king should, like each of his ancestors have done for two thousand years. The power he's seeking is right there under his fingertips, pressing down on his chest like a vice, swallowing up his breath and his courage, and the only thing stopping him is his own floundering willpower.
"Not yet ready." Isn't that just a kinder way of saying that he's a coward?]
[ There are a number of answers she may give: believe in yourself, believe in your choice, believe in your feelings, your love, those you wish to protect. The motivation will see him through the rest. But it all depends for what he must be brave. For Luna, in this instance. For that sunrise. But if he still cannot be brave for Luna, then-- something's amiss. ]
...For you to ask how to be brave....what is it that you fear that you must do?
[ Some sort of uncertainty lingers. She raises a hand before he might answer; there is more she wishes to ask. ] For.. instance, is there a potential consequence to being brave, more than... not raising that courage to help?
[ The answer of think of those you love, those you wish to protect in order to be brave would be able to fulfill motivation for bravery for anything else. She knows he loves and he cares and wishes to protect, but there is something that still stalls him-- something of which he's afraid. Something that seemingly terrifies him enough to hesitate when it comes to Luna. What is it specifically, she doesn't inquire. These questions are for his introspection. ]
[He's not surprised by her response. Similar to when he'd asked about the future, or changing fate, her focus had been on the end result, and the consequences of making such decisions. The same logic applies here. Whether he acts or not, there will be consequences, and to fulfill his destiny he'll have to make this choice sooner or later. If it saves someone precious to him by doing is sooner, then how can he not? To refuse that... he might as well be swinging the deathblow himself.]
...It's stupid, [he whispers, bowing his head, both hands pressed together in front of his face as if in prayer.] It's stupid and cowardly and I just- need to get over it. I have a way to get stronger already.
[But he's scared. He's terrified, and it shows in his body language, the hunch of his shoulders, the tension on his face, the soft trembling of his hands. The power of kings is a terrible thing, and he knows well by now that it always comes at a price.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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She looks at the curve his lips, noting the coyness to it, the knowing smile, then back to his eyes.
Is there a story she's not getting. ] As in, you needed rescuing before?
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Sure, once. It's a dangerous world.
[An obviously evasive answer, but the sort she might find familiar, considering how often she dodges his questions. She doesn't need more of his sad stories.
Instead he readjusts the tablet in his lap, searching for that drawing program she'd used. He can't do much without a proper pen, but he can at least get some rough sketch ideas down.]
Back home the main characters are all guys. We should add some girls to this one, at least half and half. I want you and Luna to play with us, too.
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A dragon-slaying adventure to save a prince in dire need-- even with just you or Luna.... [ Her eyes shine brightly. ] There's no way the team would lose.
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[He starts roughing out a little drawing of a woman in sharp-looking armor carrying a big spear, in a cartoonish style.]
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Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. ]
Not just any dragoon. A valiant one. Peerless. And... beautiful, right?
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[Though his capacity for drawing something beautiful is questionable; he's no fine artist. Years of communicating with Luna purely through a journal, and growing up in the Citadel with no friends his own age besides Ignis left him time alone to find ways of entertaining himself more often than not, and ample opportunity to practice. Talented, no, and his hand is too unsteady to call it art. But it's a few marks above a stick figure at least.
He tries to follow her suggestion, giving the character narrowed eyes and a cool, confident smile, with long flowing hair.]
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She look at his depiction, noting the sure smile the character has. If he had not mentioned Luna, she would not have known it was her; but with her name in mind, that smile is undeniably hers. It has a quiet resolve, but a loud bravery all the same.
And.
Huh. He likes long hair, does he? She's going to just pull this guess out of left field, but-- ]
You like her hair down, too, is that it...?
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Huh? Sure, though I guess it just naturally went that way...
[Noctis tilts the drawing a little, scrutinizing it. Long hair is pretty, yeah, but he's not fussy.]
Would be more practical in a fight if it was short, right? I can change it.
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Mm... This is for Luna, correct? How would she wear it, do you think, in battle?
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W-well... not just for Luna, but...
[Probably mostly for Luna. He thinks a moment. He's never seen her in battle, but he's seen her working, and any time she's had to travel or attend to her Oracle duties, she's kept her hair up and out of the way. It's very practical, very her.]
I think she'd tie it back. So she can focus on what's going on.
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Pyra leans back. As she thought, this would be better to let him discuss this with someone of his own world, rather than a stranger. What is he doing here; he's taking time from what he could have with Luna. ] I've... spoken with her only two times. An... Oracle, right?
She's very admirable.
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Yeah, that's kind of all it takes with her. I don't think I've ever met anyone as strong as she is.
[She's so! Resilient! And devoted! Carrying his burden all across Lucis, waking the gods, keeping him safe by remaining at a distance... and all alone, too.]
She's amazing.
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That is important. She will continue this topic. ] Ehh, stronger than you, as well? [ She chuckles softly, flipping to a new page in her tablet. ]
And she's here in this world, too.
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[Is she stronger than his lame-ass self, who's only good for fighting? Without question.]
It's just, y'know... there's different ways to be strong, right? She did so much for me, for all of us. She woke the gods, she carried my- my burden, [His hand subconsciously lifts to press against his chest, where the ring hangs under his shirt, before he realizes and pulls away,] and she did it all by herself. I'd never have gotten anywhere if I'd had to go alone.
[And it isn't automatically weak to travel with friends, or to depend on other people. He knows that. But to be able to do what needs to be done without a support system to push him forward? That requires real strength, and it's the kind that he lacks. After everything that happened, he'd surely have fallen apart without them.]
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Her eyes follow the movement of his hand to his chest, then it's back to meeting his gaze. ] ....Someone mentioned to me, that little can be achieved alone, that there will always be someone.
I can't speak for her, but... I imagine she might have been thinking of you as a source of strength. [ So in that way, she wasn't truly alone?? ]
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[It sounds like something she'd say, even if he doesn't always understand it. That isn't new, though- she's always believed in him, even when he himself couldn't. Her conviction made him try harder, made him push himself to be better. It's been that way ever since they were children, when he'd made that first promise to her.]
If that's true then it's definitely mutual. She thinks way too highly of me, but... I want to be the person she thinks I am, eventually.
[And if she believes in his potential as king, or Chosen, or whatever, he'll keep trying until that belief becomes reality. Somehow.]
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Still, the rest of what he says gives her pause. ] W-wait.
[ A beat. She's going to see if she can parse his thoughts. If Luna believes in him-- and Pyra is surely arguing that she does, as surely as Pyra believes in Noctis himself, for she's seen what he can do, she's seen the light in his heart. ] That doesn't sound right.
Isn't the person she thinks you are-- the person who has given her strength while apart from you-- how you are right now?
[ None of this "thinking too highly of me" business, no siree!! ] You're enough, Noct.
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...Sure.
[Much easier to say than to believe; he may disagree (and what does she know? all she has to go on is what he's told her, and half the time he's full of shit) but he doesn't want to start an argument about that since he figures she won't take no for an answer. It is fundamentally untrue, though.
Someone good enough would have saved her, and he doesn't. He needs to be better.]
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Before, he would become more flustered with any compliments. Is it because of the topic itself, with Luna? But he had seemed so happy discussing her. Again, she wonders: what went wrong? ]
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[FECK
And now he's flustered, wide-eyed and worried.]
No, no, you didn't... it isn't you. Just- there's a lot of pressure... some stuff happens, and...
[He scrambles for the words to help her understand without fully explaining it; he won't say it, not when Luna herself doesn't know. The weight of it on his own shoulders is already too much.]
Cor... told me something. When I go back I've got a job to do, a really important one, and... I fail. I let her down, and people get hurt. [His lips purse tightly. People die.] I'm not enough, like this. I have to do better.
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...She knows he must do better. She had thought it multiple times before-- he is not there yet. That hesitation persists. She had mentioned to him before: What you are thinking, you are correct: With more power you can... protect what you wish to protect. Then she had asked him if the sunrise he saw that day with his comrades, if it is part of the future he wishes to safeguard. His response:
"Yeah, of course."
But after their last conversation, she wonders if it would do well to remind him of that.
(Briefly, her gaze drops to the middle of his chest; she recalls during one of the warps in which he had taken her along, how her hand had felt something there--)
While she is afraid of her words, while her curiosity burns to know more of whatever has happened, she can only offer this: ]
....You wish to become stronger.
I can help you again, if that is what you wish.
[ IF HE'S SERIOUS. She will do what she can to train with him. ]
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Pyra can help him here, just as she had already, and he's grateful for her offer. She'd reached her hand out to his and shared her power, because his alone isn't enough. It never has been, and it never will be, that much has become clear. When he goes back he'll be on his own.]
...Got any advice on how to be brave?
[The others have noticed, surely. Somnus knows. His father might. And Luna, of course. They know he carries it and doesn't wear it on his finger, doesn't claim his birthright, doesn't step up as a king should, like each of his ancestors have done for two thousand years. The power he's seeking is right there under his fingertips, pressing down on his chest like a vice, swallowing up his breath and his courage, and the only thing stopping him is his own floundering willpower.
"Not yet ready." Isn't that just a kinder way of saying that he's a coward?]
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...For you to ask how to be brave....what is it that you fear that you must do?
[ Some sort of uncertainty lingers. She raises a hand before he might answer; there is more she wishes to ask. ] For.. instance, is there a potential consequence to being brave, more than... not raising that courage to help?
[ The answer of think of those you love, those you wish to protect in order to be brave would be able to fulfill motivation for bravery for anything else. She knows he loves and he cares and wishes to protect, but there is something that still stalls him-- something of which he's afraid. Something that seemingly terrifies him enough to hesitate when it comes to Luna. What is it specifically, she doesn't inquire. These questions are for his introspection. ]
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...It's stupid, [he whispers, bowing his head, both hands pressed together in front of his face as if in prayer.] It's stupid and cowardly and I just- need to get over it. I have a way to get stronger already.
[But he's scared. He's terrified, and it shows in his body language, the hunch of his shoulders, the tension on his face, the soft trembling of his hands. The power of kings is a terrible thing, and he knows well by now that it always comes at a price.]
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