You're, uh. [He hesitates, because it feels like they've gotten themselves more or less back to normal, but he can't help feeling anxious about it anyway.] You're not doing this because of what we talked about earlier, are you?
[She'd worried about not doing enough for him, and now here she is trying to do... something? Which he's not opposed to, but he doesn't want her to think she has to just to earn anything he's giving freely.]
Actually... I've had this idea in my head for the Regalia for a while. [ But he may be rest assured (or she believes he should be rest assured) that that won't be all. ] Although, I still intend to make up for... [ A delicate pause. ] before.
[That makes him very curious - and a little suspicious, actually, since they've talked about certain things before - but he opts not to question her again. Let her keep the surprise.
Instead he tugs her in a bit, freeing his hand to wind his arm around her, exhaling a vaguely annoyed noise.]
Gotta figure out a way to make you stop that, then. You don't have to do anything. Weren't we supposed to quit keeping score?
She wants to make it up to him. He's saying it's not necessary. With a single question, he cuts to the root of the subject.... If she insists, she's not helping him, only helping herself-- her own guilt, and how she works through it. Is this really enough for him, or are these questions her own insecurities?
It feels strange to even consider that letting even a sliver of that guilt go, and letting this be, is her trying to be better for him. ]
You know...
You have a way of knowing others even better than they know themselves.
[ In this instance-- herself, and how she didn't realize how self-centered she was being here. ]
[ Despite the turn towards a more somber subject, she smiles at him. It's always moments like these that amaze her. ] You made me realize something about myself that I didn't even know until you said it.
[ The ruefulness in her expression is replaced with admiration. ]
If everyone's hearts were like the moon with a side one can never see from the ground, you can somehow see that facet they cannot, ...and tell them about it.
[That's such poetic phrasing to describe what he'd just done, which in his mind was the verbal equivalent of tossing a bone in the yard to see what dog bites.]
I think it's just easier to see what's in front of you than over your shoulder, if that makes any sense.
[He hesitates, then adds,]
If whatever that was made you feel worse, I'm not mad at you for it.
[ She shakes her head. ] No... No, that's not it. [ She doesn't feel worse. Just. A little surprised. ]
I--... [ She sighs again, as if conceding something, her tone reflective and soft. ] I won't try to "make it up" to you out of guilt. [ --Or at least, attempt to keep the guilt from creeping back in by her own nature of wanting to give and undo the harm she's done. Not that attempting to make up to someone is selfish in of itself, but... perhaps it's when that person says you've already done enough that the act of making-up becomes self-serving, a comfort to the offender, not the other. ] That's not what you want.
But, can I do something for you because you're... insightful and inspirational?
It's not like I'll know the motive unless you tell me.
[And if he questions her enough to drag said truth out of her, which... he doesn't especially like doing. This conversation has been mostly unpleasant for that very reason.]
But you'll know, so... I'm trusting you. [He reaches down to twine their fingers again, holding her hand as carefully as he might a figurine of glass, a priceless treasure.] You can do whatever, for me or for yourself, so long as it's what you want to, not because you think you have to. This shouldn't be like... obligatory.
[ She holds his hands just the same. Too often does she wonder if she's doing enough. Holding his hands is enough in this moment. ]
You're right. [ Sometimes it feels as if what she does isn't even obligatory, but a compulsion because of how much she loves him. ] Again, you're right.
Saying that, it's like you're a natural at relationships, too.
[ She desperately works to appease others and not harm. It doesn't feel as if she's doing this relationship just "okay", if she's harmed him. There is room for improvement on her end. ]
I've never been happier, Noct. You've done more than just okay.
That's such a lofty accomplishment when he considers how long she could have existed, even if not as her current self. It's humbling to think about, that he could have been the one to make her that happy.]
And Mythra?
[She's not alone, after all. Different layers. And a third now too, ethereal and mysterious, still out of his reach. He still has work to do, to truly understand to "we" that exists in "she", to find happiness for all of them together. Daunting, but exciting to think about as well.]
[ As a crystal, they had felt... nothing. Then for five hundred years, they were miserable. It hadn't been until coming here and learning to love that they truly began living. They're somehow closer to who they are because of love, and loving him. ]
Don't ever doubt that you're loving us somehow wrong. [ Easier said than done, but she wishes she could do better to show him that he's doing everything wonderfully. Merely describing how he loves as "okay" seems so mediocre as to be an insulting lie! ]
[He figured, but didn't want to assume, so hearing her say as much is a relief. He's still getting to know Mythra, but it's a world of a difference between now and how they started (back before he even knew she existed), and he genuinely would like for her to be happy as well. They've all come a long way, collectively. It's wild to look back on all that's changed since the day they met and she asked if he'd like to rest his head in her lap.]
Hmm... okay. [He's decided!] New rule, then: until otherwise stated, we're both amazing at this dating thing, we're allowed to say so, and everyone should be super jealous of us.
[And he will... try really hard to hold on to that confidence! If he can have an ego about his fighting skills, he can totally have one about his romancing ability. In... this one specific instance. Because she said so.]
[ This entire time she had been trying to convince him that he's admirable and people just fall for him. Maybe that's projecting on her part. Then again, maybe not. There are indeed a lot of people who love him, and at least a couple here that may actually be in love with him.
....She can't feel bad when she wants him to believe in himself and have confidence, though. ] Oh, so you finally agree! [ She perks up, smiling coyly at him. ] You're extraordinarily lovable?
I'm intensely lovable. Some might even swoon when they look in my direction. [Now look what you've done, now he's just a brat about it.] Princes are born with an inherent seduction stat booster. It just can't be helped.
[ She giggles contentedly, swinging their joined hands together. Inherent seduction stat booster-- funny. ] ...I suppose I didn't emulate that enough when I tried flirted with you just a few moments ago. It was a failed mission from the start!
Mm. Us Lucii have pretty deep connections with magic crystals, y'know.
[Which... is half-joking, half-not! Because it's true, and she's a crystal, kind of. But not his crystal, which is good. And it's- fine that she is what she is. Another mark in the column of why it's okay that she isn't human when the rest are.
...not that he thinks of her as a crystal all the time, and not that their relationship is based on power like it is with the Crystal at home, and not that he has to share their connection with other people or... shit. Was that okay? Shit.
--And now he's really second-guessing himself. He's going to be low-key worried about that fear of hers for a while.]
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[She'd worried about not doing enough for him, and now here she is trying to do... something? Which he's not opposed to, but he doesn't want her to think she has to just to earn anything he's giving freely.]
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Actually... I've had this idea in my head for the Regalia for a while. [ But he may be rest assured (or she believes he should be rest assured) that that won't be all. ] Although, I still intend to make up for... [ A delicate pause. ] before.
[ Which, she believes she should. ]
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Instead he tugs her in a bit, freeing his hand to wind his arm around her, exhaling a vaguely annoyed noise.]
Gotta figure out a way to make you stop that, then. You don't have to do anything. Weren't we supposed to quit keeping score?
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...I wasn't planning on making it up to you sexually?
[ Isn't that the context of the aforementioned "score-keeping" about? Unless she is mistaken! ]
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I-I didn't mean like that either...!
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[ Good thing she clarified! Although she's still blushing. Ahem. ]
Of course. But I want to still make up for upsetting you.
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What would be enough to even satisfy you? You probably feel way more guilty than all of that deserves.
[Like, it hadn't felt great, but she'd apologized, so... that's enough?]
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Satisfy her. Not him?
She wants to make it up to him. He's saying it's not necessary. With a single question, he cuts to the root of the subject.... If she insists, she's not helping him, only helping herself-- her own guilt, and how she works through it. Is this really enough for him, or are these questions her own insecurities?
It feels strange to even consider that letting even a sliver of that guilt go, and letting this be, is her trying to be better for him. ]
You know...
You have a way of knowing others even better than they know themselves.
[ In this instance-- herself, and how she didn't realize how self-centered she was being here. ]
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I do what now?
[The heck is she on about, is she not doing it on purpose?]
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[ Despite the turn towards a more somber subject, she smiles at him. It's always moments like these that amaze her. ] You made me realize something about myself that I didn't even know until you said it.
[ The ruefulness in her expression is replaced with admiration. ]
If everyone's hearts were like the moon with a side one can never see from the ground, you can somehow see that facet they cannot, ...and tell them about it.
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I think it's just easier to see what's in front of you than over your shoulder, if that makes any sense.
[He hesitates, then adds,]
If whatever that was made you feel worse, I'm not mad at you for it.
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I--... [ She sighs again, as if conceding something, her tone reflective and soft. ] I won't try to "make it up" to you out of guilt. [ --Or at least, attempt to keep the guilt from creeping back in by her own nature of wanting to give and undo the harm she's done. Not that attempting to make up to someone is selfish in of itself, but... perhaps it's when that person says you've already done enough that the act of making-up becomes self-serving, a comfort to the offender, not the other. ] That's not what you want.
But, can I do something for you because you're... insightful and inspirational?
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[And if he questions her enough to drag said truth out of her, which... he doesn't especially like doing. This conversation has been mostly unpleasant for that very reason.]
But you'll know, so... I'm trusting you. [He reaches down to twine their fingers again, holding her hand as carefully as he might a figurine of glass, a priceless treasure.] You can do whatever, for me or for yourself, so long as it's what you want to, not because you think you have to. This shouldn't be like... obligatory.
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You're right. [ Sometimes it feels as if what she does isn't even obligatory, but a compulsion because of how much she loves him. ] Again, you're right.
Saying that, it's like you're a natural at relationships, too.
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[Or he's desperate not to lose anyone and his mind's working overdrive to avoid it. You know, either/or.]
This is kinda trial by error, here. But I think we've both done okay, yeah?
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I've never been happier, Noct. You've done more than just okay.
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That's such a lofty accomplishment when he considers how long she could have existed, even if not as her current self. It's humbling to think about, that he could have been the one to make her that happy.]
And Mythra?
[She's not alone, after all. Different layers. And a third now too, ethereal and mysterious, still out of his reach. He still has work to do, to truly understand to "we" that exists in "she", to find happiness for all of them together. Daunting, but exciting to think about as well.]
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Mythra, too.
[ As a crystal, they had felt... nothing. Then for five hundred years, they were miserable. It hadn't been until coming here and learning to love that they truly began living. They're somehow closer to who they are because of love, and loving him. ]
Don't ever doubt that you're loving us somehow wrong. [ Easier said than done, but she wishes she could do better to show him that he's doing everything wonderfully. Merely describing how he loves as "okay" seems so mediocre as to be an insulting lie! ]
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Hmm... okay. [He's decided!] New rule, then: until otherwise stated, we're both amazing at this dating thing, we're allowed to say so, and everyone should be super jealous of us.
[And he will... try really hard to hold on to that confidence! If he can have an ego about his fighting skills, he can totally have one about his romancing ability. In... this one specific instance. Because she said so.]
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....She can't feel bad when she wants him to believe in himself and have confidence, though. ] Oh, so you finally agree! [ She perks up, smiling coyly at him. ] You're extraordinarily lovable?
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I'm intensely lovable. Some might even swoon when they look in my direction. [Now look what you've done, now he's just a brat about it.] Princes are born with an inherent seduction stat booster. It just can't be helped.
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[His tone is still casual; hardly a failure anyway, considering how thoroughly he's already seduced.
He does hesitate a moment next, because... well, he's curious, and he's hoping she won't take it the wrong way, but.]
Instead of royal charm, you do have one thing going for you that no one else does.
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...Oh?
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[Which... is half-joking, half-not! Because it's true, and she's a crystal, kind of. But not his crystal, which is good. And it's- fine that she is what she is. Another mark in the column of why it's okay that she isn't human when the rest are.
...not that he thinks of her as a crystal all the time, and not that their relationship is based on power like it is with the Crystal at home, and not that he has to share their connection with other people or... shit. Was that okay? Shit.
--And now he's really second-guessing himself. He's going to be low-key worried about that fear of hers for a while.]
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