[He hesitates for a moment, examining her expression.]
Are... you sure?
[That does feel undeserved, considering how he'd had a fun sparring tussle and she'd spent a lot of time worrying and wondering in the dark. He should have brought back a fish and made her something instead. But he's also in no state to be allowed in the kitchen- he's been chided enough times by Ignis to know that.]
I... [Well, he won't say that, because yeah it would be a lie.] I'm not starving, I can wait if you w- if it's what you need.
[A shower isn't going to do anything for this confused guilt complex he's been shoving in the corner for the last several hours, nor will it answer her questions. He can at least make it quick, but...]
[ Her answer is delayed, this time, and her hand's grip becomes lighter in his. He said he'd explain things, but. She wants to be supportive, first and foremost. ]
[He hesitates a moment longer, then nods slowly, leaning in to kiss her forehead appreciatively. If she's forcing herself, she's doing it for his sake, so the least he can do is be quick and not keep her waiting long when she won't ask him until after he's finished.]
...Okay. Be right back, then.
[He gives her hand one last squeeze before he withdraws, heading for the washroom to have the quickest clean-up he can manage.]
[ If he's quick, she'll won't have dinner ready by the time he comes back out, but she seems to be comfortable enough in an apron behind their kitchen counter, setting a lid atop of a pot to let the contents simmer. It's hearty and aromatic-- a green, coconut curry for two. ]
It's not quite done yet, sorry... [ She speaks when she hears him enter, but he looks up at him with a smile, washing her hands in the sink. ] All refreshed?
[He'd bathed earlier in the day, so he didn't need much more than a quick rinse and scrub to clean the dirt and sweat away. He dries, changes his clothes, and emerges before too long with his hair damp and hanging unstyled at his shoulders. He offers another smile in return, moving behind her to hug her, his chin once more on her shoulder, wet bangs against her cheek.]
[ It’s always a pleasant surprise when he’s physical with his affection, and as his arms wrap around to her front, her palms raise to rest upon his hands.
He smells as lovely as rain. ]
You do. [ Susceptible to his embrace, her body relaxes against his. ] What is that, sandalwood? [ She throws out a guess, but doesn’t actually know. ] I like it.
[Unhelpful. He didn't look at the bottle, but if that's her guess, it's probably accurate or close enough. The nature of his cleanliness was more for small talk, so he refocuses on dinner.]
You can help... [ She begins, a coyish tone tugging at the edges of her words. Pyra reaches for the replicator, and touches the end of it to where his hands fall on her body. ] ...by choosing one vegetable to throw in for the curry's simmer.
Just one. It adds for flavor and crunchiness, too, if it's not overcooked.
[His noise is thoughful, but not carrying the usual slight whine that comes up when his nemesis is involved. He kisses her again and instead,] On it. [Before letting go, stepping away, and orders two (two!!) of the Leiden potatoes, which he promptly washes and starts to peel. He'll do whatever instructions she calls for, until she's ready.]
[ ...Potatoes. Not even remotely green, but a clever loophole to adding a traditional vegetable. She smiles fondly anyway.
Pyra instructs him to chop the potatoes up into bite-sized pieces and add them to the pot, after which she stirs it twice and places the lid over it. ] And now... we wait.
[ Silence falls between them, stagnant and awkward, before Pyra steps to him reaching for his hand, which is no more calloused than usual. He's fine. He's fine. She's not. But he came back enthused and refreshed, as if he needed whatever battle that was for him. She feels guilty that her troubles damped his mood, but she doesn't want to return to how she used to be, to push away how she feels as invalid.
[The question makes him purse his lips, fingers twitching slightly against her hand, and he feels guilty that he was able to have fun while she was stuck at home worrying. He loses focus on most anything else when he's fighting, and...]
...Yeah. Mostly.
[There'd been not-so-fun moments, but that's the case in any battle. The aftermath hadn't been that thrilling comparatively, but he can't deny it or lie to her; he wasn't miserable. It was a wild fight. He feels like he should apologize for that too, but what would that mean? That he's sorry it didn't go worse? Sorry he didn't have a terrible time of it, helping a friend? That he hadn't been proven wrong or given people the chance to say "told you so" after he got hurt and didn't have enough back-up? It wouldn't be all that sincere, and he'd rather figure out what he actually did wrong than offer empty platitudes.]
[ She looks at him apologetically, squeezing his hand. She hopes he has more opportunities like that-- to go out and have fun. To spar, to fight, to exercise his skills and power. She's seen in both be able to fight in the VR games and in reality, a combination of both wild moves and speed, but never so much as to not be aware of his next move or how to adapt to how his opponent might hit next.
He said he would talk afterwards, but his short answer leaves her guessing that something bothers him. ]
[He takes a little longer to answer this time, his gaze cast low at first.]
I'm fine. [His default, and a half-truth: he is fine, he's fit and safe and did okay in the fight, he's not emotionally or mentally traumatized (more than usual), he's satisfied by how things went down. But he's... confused, and here she is fussing over him like he's the one upset about it. He's fine. And that's all too much to explain and very him-focused, but that's not what they need right now.] I said I'd explain everything after... don't you want to know?
[That distant look distresses him, like there's even more that he's not understanding, but until he clears the air he can't really suss out what the issue is. So, with a deep breath, he tells her all of it:
Era's plan to free Emet from an entity that held his soul prisoner for millennia. How she hadn't asked him to help, he had offered. How they'd begun as an innocent spar, a test run under false pretense to catch Emet unawares, since if he knew ahead of time that imprisoning soul would kill Era. How when the time came she'd temporarily wounded herself for a type of soul magic he didn't really understand. How she had been, as she'd said, the target of the transformed Emet's ire, and they were to serve as defense and distraction, which is why he'd promised his safety despite all the secrecy. How it had worked as intended, and everyone was safe, though recovery might take some time. How he had been given permission to tell Pyra but only just before, that it had been a condition of his participation but he had opted to keep it vague to not break Era's confidence or worry Pyra overmuch- something that had obviously failed.
When he's done, he closes it off with another, quiet,]
Sorry.
[He knows this has been upsetting, but he hopes she can understand why he did what he did. It was the best option he could think of when pulled in two directions, but it seemed as if there was no getting out of this without causing some strife. He really didn't expect things to go south, but that's his failing.]
[ Throughout all of this, she remains quiet as he explains. ]
Please, don’t apologize…. Everything turned out alright in the end. [ She concludes, her thumb brushing over the side of his hand.
Everything went according to plan. Is she making this more difficult than it’s supposed to be? Is what she’s feeling here, this hurt, misplaced? As doubt clouds her further, she looks up at him uncertainly. ]
It doesn’t bother you? Not the… going into battle part. But told not to share the whys with someone close to you?
Not really… I've had to keep a lot of secrets over the years. I can't even count the number of times I had to give Prompto some vague reason for bailing on him because of state secrets or whatever. Everyone has stuff they can't or don't want to have broadcast out of their control.
[This is hardly the first time that a secret had lay between them- it's just among the first that he's been upfront about keeping, as far as he can recall.]
It's not always my call to make, and sometimes it's necessary, yeah. Do you think it's a bad thing to honour someone else's request to keep things between you and them? Even temporarily?
[This time, he pauses longer to consider her question, starting to get a feel for what's bothering her. Rather than answering directly, he instead counters in a quiet, careful voice,]
Are you asking me that because it's Era, or because you're my girlfriend?
[It could be another reason, and she's welcome to correct him, but those are the two most valid reasons that come to mind.]
[ She doesn’t need to pause to think of her answer. ] Because we’re together.
[ …
Damn if that doesn’t sound entitled. Selfish. And… putting herself as someone valued enough not to be left in the dark with something important. But if his upbringing means he’s used to doing so, and will continue to do so, then she’ll simply have to adjust to that. Different expectations lead to disappointment; this, she knows, and her own let her down. It’s a classic tale. Pyra exhales. ]
Sorry, I… I suppose that doesn’t grant an exception, does it.
[That makes him wince; he hates the phrasing of it, like he's choosing others over her. Maybe he is, in a sense, in context, but he wouldn't feel right to break a promise to someone else - a promise he thought was reasonable - to appease her a few hours earlier than intended. If he'd been better at explaining at the get-go, or tried a more casual tone, it might have been different, but would she then have been just as upset afterwards to learn he'd lied by omission or something? He doesn't know. But this, he can't quite apologize for. Not the way she'd want.]
Pyra... I love you, and I'd never intentionally hide something that would hurt you if I could avoid doing it. But I can't promise you every secret I've been entrusted with by other people when they don't involve you. I don't think it's fair if you feel entitled to that.
[He pauses, and then adds,]
How many of your secrets have I kept hidden from the rest of my family?
[His family, whom he loves and trusts just as much as he loves and trusts her. Because she would have felt unsafe if they were shared, because she'd entrusted those secrets to him, because she'd asked him to.]
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Are... you sure?
[That does feel undeserved, considering how he'd had a fun sparring tussle and she'd spent a lot of time worrying and wondering in the dark. He should have brought back a fish and made her something instead. But he's also in no state to be allowed in the kitchen- he's been chided enough times by Ignis to know that.]
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[ She asks with an almost coy smile, giving his hand a tug back towards the porch doors. ] You must be, after a battle.
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[A shower isn't going to do anything for this confused guilt complex he's been shoving in the corner for the last several hours, nor will it answer her questions. He can at least make it quick, but...]
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I can wait, too. Go on.
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...Okay. Be right back, then.
[He gives her hand one last squeeze before he withdraws, heading for the washroom to have the quickest clean-up he can manage.]
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It's not quite done yet, sorry... [ She speaks when she hears him enter, but he looks up at him with a smile, washing her hands in the sink. ] All refreshed?
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You tell me. Do I smell better?
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He smells as lovely as rain. ]
You do. [ Susceptible to his embrace, her body relaxes against his. ] What is that, sandalwood? [ She throws out a guess, but doesn’t actually know. ] I like it.
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[Unhelpful. He didn't look at the bottle, but if that's her guess, it's probably accurate or close enough. The nature of his cleanliness was more for small talk, so he refocuses on dinner.]
Smells good in here, too. Can I help?
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Just one. It adds for flavor and crunchiness, too, if it's not overcooked.
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[His noise is thoughful, but not carrying the usual slight whine that comes up when his nemesis is involved. He kisses her again and instead,] On it. [Before letting go, stepping away, and orders two (two!!) of the Leiden potatoes, which he promptly washes and starts to peel. He'll do whatever instructions she calls for, until she's ready.]
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Pyra instructs him to chop the potatoes up into bite-sized pieces and add them to the pot, after which she stirs it twice and places the lid over it. ] And now... we wait.
[ Silence falls between them, stagnant and awkward, before Pyra steps to him reaching for his hand, which is no more calloused than usual. He's fine. He's fine. She's not. But he came back enthused and refreshed, as if he needed whatever battle that was for him. She feels guilty that her troubles damped his mood, but she doesn't want to return to how she used to be, to push away how she feels as invalid.
Still, she opens with a guess: ]
...You had fun, didn't you?
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...Yeah. Mostly.
[There'd been not-so-fun moments, but that's the case in any battle. The aftermath hadn't been that thrilling comparatively, but he can't deny it or lie to her; he wasn't miserable. It was a wild fight. He feels like he should apologize for that too, but what would that mean? That he's sorry it didn't go worse? Sorry he didn't have a terrible time of it, helping a friend? That he hadn't been proven wrong or given people the chance to say "told you so" after he got hurt and didn't have enough back-up? It wouldn't be all that sincere, and he'd rather figure out what he actually did wrong than offer empty platitudes.]
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He said he would talk afterwards, but his short answer leaves her guessing that something bothers him. ]
How are you feeling?
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I'm fine. [His default, and a half-truth: he is fine, he's fit and safe and did okay in the fight, he's not emotionally or mentally traumatized (more than usual), he's satisfied by how things went down. But he's... confused, and here she is fussing over him like he's the one upset about it. He's fine. And that's all too much to explain and very him-focused, but that's not what they need right now.] I said I'd explain everything after... don't you want to know?
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[ She replies, simply, her expression lost in some thought or another. ]
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Era's plan to free Emet from an entity that held his soul prisoner for millennia. How she hadn't asked him to help, he had offered. How they'd begun as an innocent spar, a test run under false pretense to catch Emet unawares, since if he knew ahead of time that imprisoning soul would kill Era. How when the time came she'd temporarily wounded herself for a type of soul magic he didn't really understand. How she had been, as she'd said, the target of the transformed Emet's ire, and they were to serve as defense and distraction, which is why he'd promised his safety despite all the secrecy. How it had worked as intended, and everyone was safe, though recovery might take some time. How he had been given permission to tell Pyra but only just before, that it had been a condition of his participation but he had opted to keep it vague to not break Era's confidence or worry Pyra overmuch- something that had obviously failed.
When he's done, he closes it off with another, quiet,]
Sorry.
[He knows this has been upsetting, but he hopes she can understand why he did what he did. It was the best option he could think of when pulled in two directions, but it seemed as if there was no getting out of this without causing some strife. He really didn't expect things to go south, but that's his failing.]
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Please, don’t apologize…. Everything turned out alright in the end. [ She concludes, her thumb brushing over the side of his hand.
Everything went according to plan. Is she making this more difficult than it’s supposed to be? Is what she’s feeling here, this hurt, misplaced? As doubt clouds her further, she looks up at him uncertainly. ]
It doesn’t bother you? Not the… going into battle part. But told not to share the whys with someone close to you?
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Not really… I've had to keep a lot of secrets over the years. I can't even count the number of times I had to give Prompto some vague reason for bailing on him because of state secrets or whatever. Everyone has stuff they can't or don't want to have broadcast out of their control.
[This is hardly the first time that a secret had lay between them- it's just among the first that he's been upfront about keeping, as far as he can recall.]
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Is that how you want things to remain, going forward?
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It's not always my call to make, and sometimes it's necessary, yeah. Do you think it's a bad thing to honour someone else's request to keep things between you and them? Even temporarily?
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Are you asking me that because it's Era, or because you're my girlfriend?
[It could be another reason, and she's welcome to correct him, but those are the two most valid reasons that come to mind.]
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[ …
Damn if that doesn’t sound entitled. Selfish. And… putting herself as someone valued enough not to be left in the dark with something important. But if his upbringing means he’s used to doing so, and will continue to do so, then she’ll simply have to adjust to that. Different expectations lead to disappointment; this, she knows, and her own let her down. It’s a classic tale. Pyra exhales. ]
Sorry, I… I suppose that doesn’t grant an exception, does it.
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Pyra... I love you, and I'd never intentionally hide something that would hurt you if I could avoid doing it. But I can't promise you every secret I've been entrusted with by other people when they don't involve you. I don't think it's fair if you feel entitled to that.
[He pauses, and then adds,]
How many of your secrets have I kept hidden from the rest of my family?
[His family, whom he loves and trusts just as much as he loves and trusts her. Because she would have felt unsafe if they were shared, because she'd entrusted those secrets to him, because she'd asked him to.]
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