iustaegis | IC CONTACT FOR HUGS

[Her hesitation is echoed by his own. He... doesn't like this. This whole negative honesty thing. It only ever serves to harm the ones he cares about. It shouldn't hurt, she says... that's a better answer than he usually receives, isn't it? He has no reason not to trust her in this. And it's not as if he's afraid to feel a little pain if it does happen. He wants to meet her- Pyra's other half. Even if it hurts, like last time.

His gaze drops, finally looking at the deep, glimmering blue light of her crystal. It's different. It's similar, but it's different.]

...It's fine. [Power is painful, crystal and light and energy- all of it hurts him. The ring, the Armiger, the god's energy and voices in his head. The ruthless grip of his crystal, the way it drags life from him as it did every monarch that came before. He's learned this. He's learned to accept this.] It's worth it.

[ The future is indeed worth fighting for. Suffering for. Dying for. He'll find no arguments from her there, as unfortunate as it is, this is their reality. Comparatively, however, she believes she has it far easier. She isn't hurt by power, she's the one who can hurt others with it. All of whom she's come to love are already dead, while he has so many he could lose. He's had scant few decades in life, while she's had eons existing as a crystal. He has it worse, his burden is worse, his pain is worse, and that, too, is also the reality. ] For the world... mm.

[ But for Mythra? There is no call to action here. He doesn't need to hurt in this world, not for her (hypothetically, because she's not sure it will). He doesn't need to suffer. She doesn't want him to. More importantly, she doesn't want him to think that suffering and sacrifice is something he should accept, just because it might make her (or others) happy. That's not right. It would never sit right with her. ]

But it's not worth it-- not to risk harm to yourself for me. [ She looks up at him, her voice heavy with emotion, urgency: ] It's not right. You don't need to feel pain in this world.

[They could have an argument about this, back and forth and back again, what's worth his pain and what isn't. Needs versus wants. And yeah, maybe he doesn't have to hurt himself for her sake. She doesn't have to do anything for him, either, but she has- so much. She's done so much, and she doesn't even acknowledge or place much value on her efforts. He'd told Prompto not so long ago, when confessing that they were together, that she made him happy. She made him smile and laugh and feel warmth (and sometimes heat) he's not experienced before. She helps him relax, comforted him in his grief. So often when he sees her, he feels better even on the good days. She can't fix all his problems, but her support has meant the world to him after so long.

Isn't that worth it? Worth at least trying? He thinks so.

He's also very, very stubborn, so when he looks up to meet her gaze once more, there's a firm glint in his eyes, his jaw set.]

Mythra's... important to you, isn't she?

[ She notices the newfound firmness in his expression, which only worries her more. And confuses her. How can he say this? ]

--Not as important to me as you.

[His response is simple: the same firm look, this time edged with some annoyance, both helping to push the last of his lingering fear away from the forefront of his thoughts.]

That's not an answer.

[Come on, he answered her.]

[ There's a brief, guilty look before she responds. She looks at him, then away, and at length, she exhales. ]

Of course she is. [ One of her hands leaves his to come up to her chest, placing it over his that lingers close to the crystal. ]

But she can wait. We can wait for you. We don't want to hurt you.

[He frowns as she looks away, lifting his hand to catch her chin and try to guide her back to him.]

Hey- I trust you. [And he does, truly. It would be terrible to let her think otherwise.] If you don't think it'll hurt me, then I'm sure it won't. So it's okay, right?

[He figures that's a safer answer than telling her he doesn't mind if it hurts a little, which is true. Not... ideal... but he wants to see that excitement on her face again, when he'd agreed to try. He wants her to be happy, and it would be such a small thing, by the way she described it. He just has to fall asleep, and he's good at that.]

[ His hand catches her chin, and she’s guided back to look at him. Face to face with his earnestness, she cannot deny him. The wording works, too. Trust. He knows how to convince her.

He trusts that she won’t hurt him, or at the very least, she won’t mean to. She can freely express this want: she does not want to hurt him. She wants to trust in him, that he won’t hold it against her if she does. Or that he will tell her it does, and not try to push through it just for her sake. She wants to know if he’s harmed, she wants to know if he needs comfort. She’ll be there for him.

But he wants to do this, and slowly, she nods her assent. ] Okay.

[ Her fingers tighten over his, the line of her lips expresses her uncertainty, but it passes.

Pyra lifts his hand from her and lets go, stepping slightly away. Lifting both of her hands up to gesture at the crystal, her tone is somber: ]

Place your hand upon my chest.

[This should be happy, he thinks- pushes himself to remember that. It should be exciting, getting the chance to meet the mysterious Mythra. He'd been invited to by Pyra, even! Each time before, he'd had to ask about her. Now it's finally on her terms, and she's welcoming his curiosity. It shouldn't hurt, and who knows what he'll learn about Pyra through this? That alone would be exciting enough to not hesitate.

It was supposed to be exciting when he was "crowned" by his own Crystal, too, and look how that turned out.

So he does hesitate, just for a few moments more, before he shoves off his uncertainties, refocusing on his stubbornness to follow through. It's not the same, and they trust each other, and he wants this. That all the incentive he needs to try.]

...Okay... here goes.

[Before he can second-guess himself again, or before she can change her mind in order to protect him, he reaches out to touch her crystal, ready for whatever comes next.]

[ The crystal shines brighter as soon as he makes contact with it, and within moments the world and his vision will vanish around him, as will his consciousness as it is swept up, engulfed by the glow of the crystal. It pulls him in-- not forcefully, but guiding, as if lifting him up into an embrace, enveloping him in light.

He'll next awaken upon a lush field of softs, green grass and blue, cloud-dotted skies. From the warm, gentle breeze that rustles the flowers of the prairie, it may feel as as if it is late spring in this realm, or perhaps early summer. Behind him is a forest, and before him a single tree that looms at the top of the modest hill; beyond that he might hear birdsong, echoed only by the distant toll of a bell of a humble, empty town just beyond the summit.

He lies within the shade of that tree on the hill, and should he blink he'll feel another's presence: Pyra's. Blink again, and he'll find that he's not resting upon the grass, but that his head is upon Pyra's lap, her hand upon his forehead. Her expression is that of patient concern as she gazes down at him, as if he had been waiting for him to open his eyes. When he does, she smiles. ] ...You're awake.

[ He is the first of another world to be here, and she quietly marvels at that fact. She's didn't invite him here to keep him safe, as this place could certainly do so, or to bring him back to life, or to explain exactly what this place is to him... She's here to make an introduction.

But first: ] How... do you feel? [ Not hurt, she hopes. ]

[He blinks several times in response at first, taking in the sights as he carefully sits himself upright. It's... definitely not what he'd expected in the slightest. There's no weightlessness, no oppressive presence of a god or the soul of an entire star. It both looks and sounds warm, inviting, like waking up at a haven in Duscae surrounded by nature. Rather than ethereal and lonely, the grass is beneath his skin, the landscape is etched in beauty, and Pyra's here.

How does he feel?]

I... feel normal. [He glances down at his hands, and they look the same as ever. Clenching them, they seem real. He's not about to float away.] I feel like myself.

[Gods, more than anything he feels relieved. It's just as she said- it didn't hurt at all. Letting that relief show in his expression, he turns his attention back to her.]

What is this place?

[ Relief causes her shoulders to dip with a sigh. He's not hurt. He's fine. Nevertheless, there's a delay before she responds, and she shifts to allow him to sit up, remaining seated beside him. ] We call it... Elysium.

[ She glances at him as he seems to adjust to the realm itself, clenching and clenching his hands. Pyra looks outward, as if her attention has been caught by the breeze that rustles her hair forward. ]

This realm is... recreated from a memory. [ Her brow furrows, then relaxes. ] A half-forgotten one. [ Or a sealed one. It can't be right, what she's remembering of this place-- jagged pieces of a puzzle that are just out of her and Mythra's reach, kept from her-- but it doesn't matter. Her reminiscing isn't why she's here, and the mystery of it for herself will have to wait.

She looks back to Noctis, and doing so makes her smile return, because it's Noctis with whom she sits and is here with her. Noctis, who is safe. ] But, you can call it something like a home to me.

Elysium... paradise?

[The word is familiar to him, a variant of ancient Lucian that reminds him of home. It sure looks like it could be a paradise, if it stayed this peaceful all the time. A part of him wants to flop down on her lap again and go back to sleep, let the soft ambiance of nature lull him into a nice, cozy nap.

He resists the urge, tempting as it is. He's here for a reason. He does lean a little against her though, her shoulder warm against his own.]

It's beautiful... it looks like something out of a dream.

[ She blinks at him. Paradise-- yes, that's right. Their worlds hold a common root language of sort, by coincidence. Fertile, radiant, and with an uncanny peacefulness to it that can placate and lull another into contentedness, this place is a paradise. ] I suppose... it really is like a dream.

[ Alrest, her world, is dying. But Elysium could hold everyone there, should the people find a way to it. Back to it, she should say. They were once here... Or. She thinks they maybe were here at one point. It's difficult to say. Her memories of this place feel disjointed, as if they'd been spliced in by... Well, it doesn't matter.

This place as it is, she's known for a while. It's been her home for a long time, the place she frequented most in this realm while she had been sealed.

Her hand, opposite of him, runs over the grass beside her, feeling their waxy facets comb beneath her fingers. ] I'm glad you like it. It's been our home for centuries.

That's... a long time.

[Unfathomably long. For someone who's only been alive for twenty years, it's such a wild number to even consider. It's no wonder she'd connected so well with Somnus. They were both people who'd watched the world for so long, witnessed so much change. It's almost enough to make him wonder what the hell he thinks he's doing with her.

...Almost. As usual, he's in over his head, but it hasn't stopped him yet.]

I hear it's bad manners to ask a girl her age, but... you really are ancient, huh?

[ A double-take, but she's not offended. If anything, she seems amused by something. ]

Oh-- um, do I seem old?

[ Her lived experienced upon the earth has only been one whole year. Maybe more, if her time in Havenwell is counted. That's nothing on his 20. ]

Nah. Well... ageless, maybe, is the word. But only sometimes.

[She has that unusual way of looking at the big picture far, far more than he usually hears. A bit like speaking with the last Oracle, what little he remembers of Luna's mother. A slice of normal, a slice of godly, a slice of unique and incomparable. Some people are just like that, he figures, regardless of origin.]

[ She appears to muse over his answer, only after a few seconds pass, she replies. ] If... I might be honest with you.

[ More seconds pass, and the tree rustles with a invisible breeze above them. ]

We feel as if our life has only just begun.

[There's something incredibly tragic about that in a way that it would not have been before. Knowing what he knows now, of the sort of fate they're likely to share one day for the sake of their worlds... he doesn't like it. She should be able to live for so much longer, if that's how she feels. They feel. They should live for years and years and discover everything there is to know about the world, about themselves. To hear that life feels short, to know it could be shorter if she goes back and does what she'd intended... gods. Fate sucks.

Pursing his lips, he glances sidelong at her.]

What made it start?

[What changed? Was it arriving in Havenwell? Finding a family for herself, friends? Or did life feel much shorter in a place like this? He could imagine losing a sense of time here. In that singular way, their crystals aren't so different.]

[ She knows.

She knows it sounds tragic. She realized it the moment the words left her lips, but she can't take them back, not when it's the truth. ] Oh, perhaps...

[ She leans back onto her hands, looking upward, then down at the slope of the hill, then at him.

... ] It's a little complicated. Do you want to hear?

[With her leaning back, he shifts his position at more of an angle so he can still face her, propping up his good leg to lean on it. (Though, is there such a thing as good or bad legs, here? He doesn't seem to hurt at all. What a lovely dreamworld.)]

I do, yeah.

[If she's willing to share, he'll listen.]

[ He at least deserves some context for her answer. ]

When Mythra first awakened... [ From being a crystal. ] She only walked on the earth for one year. And then... [ She gestures to where they are. This realm, this paradise. ] We were here. [ And what a miserable time it had been remaining here, especially initially, vulnerable and in mourning. So much time had passed since then. ] Being awakened imprinted some humanity onto us. [ Among other things. ]

That year on the earth, and our time here in Aellyn... [ She sits up again, bringing a hand to her chest. ] Learning to love the world and others, being able to love... [ She shakes her head, more to herself. She feels as if she's rambling, not making sense. It's difficult for her to describe, made even more so because she's recalling her past. But she pushes through it. ] I'm not sure when we started to learn how to love, in that first year.

But when we did, that's when we felt alive. [ But it had been too little for her to notice, too late. There was a war, there were other matters. There was no time for Mythra, new to emotions as she was, to truly assess anything she had felt at the time. She was struggling, drowning in that humanity. But it was still love, appreciation she had come to feel after interacting with others. ] And here, in Aellyn...

[ She glances at him, then away. She feels alive loving him. Others, too, of course. But especially him. ] It's the same.

[He listens quietly, brows furrowing. One year, and then on a different world... it's been what, eight months or so? So not even two years. It's no wonder she said that. Her life, outside of this place at least, really did just start.]

Is that why you're so... open?

[He's not sure how else to describe it. The way she reaches immediately for someone's hand, stranger or otherwise, the way she smiles and speaks her mind about how she feels, like she's full to bursting or - the more likely option - not growing up in a regular human society means she never learned to hide it, never built up walls to protect herself from the judgment of others. He doubts he could ever be like that, but it's... kind of enviable. He'd thought it so weird at first, but it won him over in a hurry.]

[ Open? She considers his meaning. Open with emotions, or physically, she wonders. The reaching for a hand is in part, at least, due to the nature of this world. But she cannot deny that she is grateful for the excuse to hold another's hand, or more, under the pretext of allegedly saving a world. Yet by now, it's simply grown second nature to her.

But as for that emotional openness... He won't like the answer.

She looks at him with a small smile. ] Remember when we first met? There was homework about telling others you love them, or hugging them... [ At the time, the context had been because of his father, and he had shared with her that his father was dead in his world already. The lesson he had known but not yet practiced was to be open because there would not be a chance to say such things, or hold another, ever again.

Pyra closes her eyes, turning her head away from him. ]

I'm "open" because we need to die.

[She's right- he doesn't like the answer, and with her eyes closed she won't see the smile drop instantly from his expression, but she'll hear his harsh inhale, feel him look away from her. "We", she says, and he knows that she means Mythra - neither had known back then that he shares a similar fate - but it's impossible to think of one without thinking of the other anymore. She'd known all along where her path would lead. And still she'd smiled, taken his hand, laughed and danced with him and encouraged him to do the same with his own loved ones, talked about fixing the world, all so they could go back...]

You... feel like that now, too?

[Is that- is that the reason? Is that the reason why, for all of it? He'd thought- he'd believed- but is all of this just so she can go back?

What about them?]

IC CONTACT

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[ Pyra ♢ Mythra ♢ Pneuma [ new post here.]

[ new post here.]

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[ Pyra ♢ Mythra ♢ Pneuma
[ new post here.]